uh...
 

No matter how many sundresses you buy, this rule doesn't apply to you.

TM

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

All exempt.

Women's clothing is fucked up. I was folding some laundry the other day and started just throwing my wife's shit into a pile. She bitched about why it wasn't folded and I told her its was too small and stretchy. All women's stuff is so damn small, and none of it folds normally into a neat square like my pants and t-shirts. I guess I shouldn't be complaining, but its all so little and stringy and its always made of these blend fabrics with strange textures. She's 5'6, and her t-shirts are like miniatures compared to mine. I guess I understand why chicks are so weight obsessive. Wearing clothing that looks like its made for sixth graders gives you no margin for weight gain. Hell, I could use some of the dresses as pocket squares.

Observation
 

The best example of true love I've ever experienced is letting someone sleep in my bed three hours after I've caught her chewing on my favorite pair of shoes.

My puppy is a very lucky girl.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

"Buttocks" makes me think of either Forrest Gump ("where'd you get shot, son?" "In the butt-tox") or Life of Bryan (Incontinentia Buttocks). Not sexy.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

Argh. STP.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

Re: party, absolutely. Because I'd never mock Coltrane.

And your exceptions are eating the belly rule. I think you just hate the chick, but don't want to accept this because you fucked her and it wasn't at the time a hate-fuck, and so you are trying to believe it is her mannerisms and not her. It is not. You fucked someone stupid and obnoxious, and you probably did both before and after her, and you will again, perhaps even tonight.

Perhaps you should find a therapist if you can't accept all of this.

Consider yourself fooled then. You have to be a size 12 or higher to be "real." "Real" women have curves and extensive cellulite. All of them (the real ones). All women deserve fantastic men also. Regardless of the qualities of the woman (or whether she is real).

You can learn A LOT from women's magazines.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

I feel compelled to point out here (as it shows that my GWNK and I are of one mind on all things), that I specifically asked for a waiver for the term "belly flop" the last time SD expressed his outrage over the use of the word.

Belly dancing, however, is a new riff.

While "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a stupid show, Ray's character has proven one thing: ineptitude and utter ignorance of traditional female household duties will prevent you from ever having to do them again.

But I can iron like a motherfucker.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

You mean, as opposed to the way Forrest Gump pronounces it? Especially when he's standing in for Ving Rames (that's not you spell that, is it?) in Pulp Fiction, to wit: "I am going to get medieval on your buttocks."

OK. This, I don't get.

Good one.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

Today while watching the morning news show, I found myself outraged at the egregious punctuation of a certain charity's name: "one days pay". I am tempted to go to www.onedayspay.org and complain. So yes, we are of one mind.

edited to note that they got it right on the website now! But not this morning. Maybe someone complained.

Just a warning: Pre-ELR, I dumped someone for pulling this shit too often. Well, and because he had a teenie weenie.

Sequels may be stupider* than I am. SD's wife appears to be.


*aka more tolerant

ETA Ray is a motherfucker (they have kids), and he can't iron. So I'm not impressed. But SD may want you to come over and iron his wife's hoochie-mamas and Daisy Dukes.

Tummy, Belly, etc...
 

No, he didn't fuck her, she really was that annoying.