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Replaced_Texan 12-02-2004 12:28 PM
Helpful advice
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
You put your bras in the dryer? FOR SHAME.
And sometimes I wash dry clean only garmets. I'm a rebel that way.

But the clear plastic bra straps will not be making a reappearance in the dryer.

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 12:28 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
That's "C-I-L-L" my landlord. Jesus.

TM
Oh, well,, Timmy killed the joke. Where is Coltrane? And the Dryer Thread?

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 12:29 PM
wine openers
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ilikenewsocks
Let's break it down:

Potential for assfucking jokes. Check.
Potential for "you're banging Hank?" jokes. Check.
Potential for "translations". Check.

All the criteria for POTH have been met.
Listing the jokes is not making the jokes.

ltl/fb 12-02-2004 12:30 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
If I ever ran a retail store, I wouldn't play holiday music during the season; I would give shoppers a fucking break from it.

The world is so fucking noisy! And I'm ready to kill the noisy secretary outside my door. K-I-L-L my landlord.
I want to kill stupid computer research tool that is not being helpful. I have taken care of some of this urge by being condescending to a non-benefits lawyer who is failing to understand that her client is fucked in the ass because the plan under which he wants to make a claim is exempt from *some of* ERISA's requirements, but not exempt from ERISA as a whole. Fucking moron bitch.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 12-02-2004 12:31 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Nordstroms had a sign outside the door before Thanksgiving that said something like - You will not see any holiday decorations or hear any holiday music in our stores until AFTER Thanksgiving.
The only thing more genius would be to say "we will put our decorations up and begin to play holiday music on Dec. 10. So hurry and shop now!"

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 12:31 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
I want to kill stupid computer research tool that is not being helpful. I have taken care of some of this urge by being condescending to a non-benefits lawyer who is failing to understand that her client is fucked in the ass because the plan under which he wants to make a claim is exempt from *some of* ERISA's requirements, but not exempt from ERISA as a whole. Fucking moron bitch.
Huh?

Replaced_Texan 12-02-2004 12:32 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Huh?
It was another ass fucking joke.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 12-02-2004 12:32 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
but the ones that burn me up are fucking Citibank calling to offer me a business gold card. . . . And it isn't an option to cancel my regular Citibank card because it is the only one that gives me miles on my gold status airline. Fuckers.
Can anyone explain why, when I have an MBNA credit card, MBNA nonetheless sends me at least 3 solicitiations for cards per week?

taxwonk 12-02-2004 12:33 PM
Now that I can't stop myself
 
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Paris Hilton takes the cake at $1005.
But hers comes with an instructive dvd.

Pretty Little Flower 12-02-2004 12:36 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
I want to kill stupid computer research tool that is not being helpful. I have taken care of some of this urge by being condescending to a non-benefits lawyer who is failing to understand that her client is fucked in the ass because the plan under which he wants to make a claim is exempt from *some of* ERISA's requirements, but not exempt from ERISA as a whole. Fucking moron bitch.
I am happy today.

NotFromHere 12-02-2004 12:38 PM
I knew it I knew it I knew it
 
Quote:
Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Go to front page of www.espn.com

And so what? I'm more curious who isn't on HGH these days. Especially the pitchers.
Good point. I just hope to hell that Barry Bonds gets his. Conti says he's going to "spill his guts" probably due to a plea agreement.
Now that track stars and baseball players can't get the clear or the cream, it will be interesting to see who drops a few pounds.

taxwonk 12-02-2004 12:38 PM
Time for a move
 
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
But is there a tax deduction?

Really? That's what you guys get for bonuses? Adventures with livestock?
Well, she is in Texas.

SlaveNoMore 12-02-2004 12:38 PM
Yankee Schadenfreude Haiku
 
Quote:
Not Bob
Tough times for the Boss
Big Unit drifting away
Jason G on juice
Story was a plant
To excise his huge contract
Say hello, Carlos

Our new rotation?
Unit, Moose, Leiter, Lieber
and maybe Milton

ltl/fb 12-02-2004 12:39 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
It was another ass fucking joke.
As is probably obvious, I have started achieving the higher ranges of degrees of difficulty in assfucking. Jokes.

taxwonk 12-02-2004 12:39 PM
Buying Clothes "by appointment"
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Sidd Finch
I just got a call from someone from a company -- Thomas James? -- that sells men's clothes by appointment and wanted to come to my office to show me what they have.

My first inclination was to ask if she was hot. I'm willing to try on clothes for her if she's hot.

But then I considered how embarassed I would be if people thought I was enough of a snob to have a private shopper.

Does anyone know anything about this? Are the clothes nice? Prices good? Service good?

And are the reps hot?
The suits are shite. I know several guys who have made the mistake of buying them, and they have all regretted it.

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 12:40 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Can anyone explain why, when I have an MBNA credit card, MBNA nonetheless sends me at least 3 solicitiations for cards per week?
Maybe it's because the marketing rules are so confusing that the safest marketing is to existing customers.

Alex_de_Large 12-02-2004 12:42 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Can anyone explain why, when I have an MBNA credit card, MBNA nonetheless sends me at least 3 solicitiations for cards per week?
Same here. I also get about 1 AOL CD per week, when we already have an AOL account (wife has had it for years).

Hank Chinaski 12-02-2004 12:48 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
I want to kill stupid computer research tool that is not being helpful. I have taken care of some of this urge by being condescending to a non-benefits lawyer who is failing to understand that her client is fucked in the ass because the plan under which he wants to make a claim is exempt from *some of* ERISA's requirements, but not exempt from ERISA as a whole. Fucking moron bitch.
We fired a secretary who was in her first year of law school. She tried to abuse a STD policy, and thought she was golden under FMLA, but didn't have the sense to check 825.104 for exclusionary requirements. Dumb bitch was on the streets before her first set of finals.

ltl/fb 12-02-2004 12:53 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
We fired a secretary who was in her first year of law school. She tried to abuse a STD policy, and thought she was golden under FMLA, but didn't have the sense to check 825.104 for exclusionary requirements. Dumb bitch was on the streets before her first set of finals.
Moron works better than dumb.

Hank Chinaski 12-02-2004 12:55 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Moron works better than dumb.
"moron" seemed repetitive.

ltl/fb 12-02-2004 12:56 PM
stuff.
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
"moron" seemed repetitive.
All bitches are morons, but they are not necessarly dumb? Um, OK. I will keep that in mind.


ETA I'm thinking that perhaps I should not have switched from latte to tea today.

notcasesensitive 12-02-2004 12:58 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
If I ever ran a retail store, I wouldn't play holiday music during the season; I would give shoppers a fucking break from it.

The world is so fucking noisy! And I'm ready to kill the noisy secretary outside my door. K-I-L-L my landlord.
C-I-L-L

ETA -

Break his neck
His house, I wreck
What da heck?

[It was a favorite chant of my youth. No, I'm not disturbed. Why do you ask?]

EFTA - okay, TM beat me. rp, you should understand the importance of getting the spelling correct. of all people.

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 12:59 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
C-I-L-L
stp. jesus.

dtb 12-02-2004 01:10 PM
Yankee Schadenfreude Haiku
 
Quote:
Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Story was a plant
To excise his huge contract
Say hello, Carlos

Our new rotation?
Unit, Moose, Leiter, Lieber
and maybe Milton
I read about Leiter this morning on my way to work. LEITER?!?

Doesn't he suck? Why Leiter?

dtb 12-02-2004 01:12 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
We fired a secretary who was in her first year of law school. She tried to abuse a STD policy, and thought she was golden under FMLA, but didn't have the sense to check 825.104 for exclusionary requirements. Dumb bitch was on the streets before her first set of finals.
Your firm has an STD policy? How does one abuse it? One too many venereal diseases?

notcasesensitive 12-02-2004 01:13 PM
Law and Order Guy Has Cancer
 
I feel bad for him. Really. I mean, I've never watched his show, but I'm sure it is quite good. However the real point of this post is to ask -

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/....orbach.ap.jpg

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HIS TEETH? Are those real? Or does he have the worst set of dentures I've ever seen? This is quite perplexing to me.

Replaced_Texan 12-02-2004 01:14 PM
Public Service Announcement
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
Your firm has an STD policy? How does one abuse it? One too many venereal diseases?
I guess they figure that they'll be screwing their associates so much that it's only prudent to have an STD policy.

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 01:19 PM
Law and Order Guy Has Cancer
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I feel bad for him. Really. I mean, I've never watched his show, but I'm sure it is quite good. However the real point of this post is to ask -

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/....orbach.ap.jpg

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HIS TEETH? Are those real? Or does he have the worst set of dentures I've ever seen? This is quite perplexing to me.
Cut him some slack. He's 69, and seems to have aged rather well. You know, sometimes you get the dentures at the dentist's office, and they seem fine, and you think maybe it's the fluorescent light that makes them look so white and big, but then you have them for a while, and you start to think, maybe I should call Dr. Schnapp and tell him I don't think they're quite right ...

NotFromHere 12-02-2004 01:19 PM
Law and Order Guy Has Cancer
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I feel bad for him. Really. I mean, I've never watched his show, but I'm sure it is quite good. However the real point of this post is to ask -

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/....orbach.ap.jpg

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HIS TEETH? Are those real? Or does he have the worst set of dentures I've ever seen? This is quite perplexing to me.
Lenny has always had caps. Coffee stained caps. It is a trend, apparently, to have your tobacco/coffee stained caps whitened to Ross Geller levels. I'm trying to think of the actress who recently did this as well, but my brain died a couple of days ago and I won't think of it until I'm right in the middle of something important.
Bleached caps.

robustpuppy 12-02-2004 01:22 PM
Law and Order Guy Has Cancer
 
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere

Bleached caps.
Actually, caps can't be bleached. A person would have to get new whiter caps to match bleached teeth. W-I-T-E teeth.

("What I really want to be is a dentist.")

SlaveNoMore 12-02-2004 01:24 PM
Yankee Schadenfreude Haiku
 
Quote:
by dtb
I read about Leiter this morning on my way to work. LEITER?!?

Doesn't he suck? Why Leiter?
My guess because (1) he's a lefty (2) that can handle NY media (3) with a 2004 ERA of 3.25 (4) which is better than anyone on the Yanks last year.

Tyrone Slothrop 12-02-2004 01:37 PM
Has anyone listened to Ron Artest's album? Is it as bad as I assume it is?

NotFromHere 12-02-2004 01:38 PM
Law and Order Guy Has Cancer
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Actually, caps can't be bleached. A person would have to get new whiter caps to match bleached teeth. W-I-T-E teeth.

("What I really want to be is a dentist.")
Clearly I haven't watched enough Extreme Makeovers or the Swan.
OK, then Lenny and some actresses got the new and improved nuclear caps.

Alex_de_Large 12-02-2004 01:40 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Has anyone listened to Ron Artest's album? Is it as bad as I assume it is?
Here you go.

spree: link to Amazon listing

ltl/fb 12-02-2004 01:40 PM
Indja
 
I just wanted everyone to know that I have started hearing "Cambodia" (in the thread title) in my head as "Cambodja." In a plummy English accent, like how such people say "India."

I think it is PLF's fault for linking to a website priced in pounds.


ETA and now whenever I see rp's avatar, I think about attaching the clothespin to the kitty's ear. Or tail. Or whatever. I don't think the Indja and sadism are connected, but who knows.

NotFromHere 12-02-2004 01:43 PM
Indja
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
I just wanted everyone to know that I have started hearing "Cambodia" (in the thread title) in my head as "Cambodja." In a plummy English accent, like how such people say "India."

I think it is PLF's fault for linking to a website priced in pounds.
Will we have to start calling you Pinter now?

SlaveNoMore 12-02-2004 01:43 PM
Quote:
Alex_de_Large
Here you go.

spree: link to Amazon listing
Before anyone gets confused, yes ADL's link is correct.

From ESPN:

Quote:
I got a call requesting I review Ron Artest's infamous record, which was released Tuesday. The record is only his in a proprietary sense -- it's actually a record by Allure, an R&B trio on his label, Tru Warier Records -- but my editor and I still wanted to hear the album that left him so tired he asked for a month off during the season.

Ron Artest is holding one of the few copies of his new CD. Little did I know that looking for the album, "Chapter III," would leave me just as exhausted....

Hank Chinaski 12-02-2004 01:46 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Has anyone listened to Ron Artest's album? Is it as bad as I assume it is?
I had thought it was just him, but nope-

http://theedge.bostonherald.com/musi...rticleid=56432


Quote:
He opens the album with a brief and needless spoken introduction.

What follows will neither surprise nor challenge any Destiny's Child fan: inoffensive groove tunes, lovelorn ballads, a demonstration of a cappella gospel and - the highpoints - a couple of bracing hip-hop numbers featuring rapper Joe Budden and Jamaican dance hall star Elephant Man.

After close to an hour of music, Artest returns on the final cut, ``I Feel So,'' to flash his rap skills, such as they are. He verbally dribbles a testimony to his own allure in what's as close to an R-rated moment as ``Chapter III'' gets: ``. . . love it when I rub you, love it when you rub mine.'

Gattigap 12-02-2004 01:48 PM
Helpful advice
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
You put your bras in the dryer? FOR SHAME.
Felicity,

If you would not hang them from the lines on the back patio, then perhaps the housecoat could be discarded altogether.

Lovingly,
Peter

Sidd Finch 12-02-2004 01:48 PM
Yankee Schadenfreude Haiku
 
Quote:
Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
My guess because (1) he's a lefty (2) that can handle NY media (3) with a 2004 ERA of 3.25 (4) which is better than anyone on the Yanks last year.

If you're going to bitch about lefties again, you're on the wrong board.


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