Stripes
 

Ty, you know you're my brother by another mother, but please. There are precious few comedies in this world that are improved by deleted scenes. "Stripes" ain't one of them. That movie totally falls apart in the third reel as it is. You'd actually want to see more of that shite?

The only two DVDs in my admittedly small collection with alternate/deleted scenes worth watching more than once are "Blazing Saddles" (the Citizen Kane of alcoholic gunfighter movies) and "Waiting for Guffman." Parker Posey's dramatic audition is a thing to behold.

Stripes
 

Holla back, playa! She and Amanda Peet are my current fantasy threesome. Mid 90s Maura Tierney could watch and tag in when Parker got tired.

Stripes
 

Mmmm, Maura...

http://www.artstreiber.com/fame/maur...ney/MT_500.jpg

Stripes
 

FWIW, a google images search turns up a whole bunch of photoshopped images of Amanda Peet having lots of sex.

Stripes
 

Is that a warning or a suggestion?

Stripes
 

I actaully understand the Maura-love. But damn, is this the best picture of her you can find? It makes her only look hot from the neck down.

Stripes
 

I saw her up close and personal maybe three, four years ago. She is small and quite average looking.

TM

Stripes
 

But you still fucked her, right?

My str8 Moment
 

For you, ironweed.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...CMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Gorgeous to listen to and gorgeous to look at, Celtic Woman is perfect PBS fare, sort of a Riverdance without the dancing. Drawing on the same New Age-y sound and propulsive energy as that show's solo-voice and choral numbers, the live concert features four attractive young women in strapless evening gowns with soaring voices backed by an orchestra, an Anuna-like chorus, and a large percussion section. The more traditional fare includes Méav Ni Mhaolchatha's "Danny Boy" and "She Moved Through the Fair," and Chloë Agnew's "Ave Maria" (the Bach-Gounod version). Movie and TV selections range from Agnew's "Walking in the Air" (The Snowman) and "Someday" (Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame) to Lisa Kelly's "May It Be" (the Enya song from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the King) and Órla Fallon's voice and harp rendition of "Harry's Game." A fifth woman, Máiréad Nesbitt, adds some variety by fiddling "The Butterfly" and "Ashokan Farewell" (best known as the theme from Ken Burns's The Civil War). Occasionally the singers join together, as in Enya's "Orinoco Flow," an a cappella rendition of West Side Story's "Somewhere," music director David Downes's composition "One World," and a stately version of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." Celtic Woman was created by Downes (like many of the other performers, a Riverdance veteran) along with Sharon Browne and Dave Kavanagh of the Celtic Collections record label. --David Horiuchi

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...454597-7704759

My str8 Moment
 

"Riverdance" references are the kiss of deedily-doodily death. Give me the good old Eire Nua RFB any day.

My str8 Moment
 

So your plan is to post news items, but off-beat ones? That way you'll always be seen as smarter than at least NFH. Good strategy. Did someone help you come up with the plan?

My str8 Moment
 

Why do you need to question my motives? I am resigned to my fate as dumbest (as proclaimed by the esteemed lo-berry). I simply saw the commercial for Celtic Woman on tv this morning and I was trying to be helpful to my good friend ironweed, who I think would enjoy watching and listening to Irish chicks singing such traditional Irish fare as "Danny Boy" and "Somewhere" from West Side Story.

And their voices are hauntingly beautiful. Don't believe me? Read this consumer review: "I couldn't help but notice that the group did quite a few songs by Enya which were really excellent. I couldn't help but notice how similiar their voices were to Enya's. On a couple of occasions I closed my eyes, I thought I was listening to Enya herself." I can't help it. When I think "Enya," I also think "ironweed."

Stripes
 

Both.

Ironweed outed!
 

From overheard at the office . . .

That's Quite a Euphemism for Sex with Pale Fat Chicks

Lobbyist #1: You remember how it was in school...drinking, gambling,
and being investigated by the IRA.
Lobbyist #2: Don't you mean the IRS?
Lobbyist #1: No, the IRA. Irish Republican Army.

Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

We can only hope this inspires continued additions to her oeufre.

Spinster revisited
 

Many men will find it strangely comforting. Even before you fuck them.

My str8 Moment
 

What is this obsession you have where you have to call out my (fake) name in every other post?

Spinster re-revisited
 

I guess it's in you.

Stripes
 

This strikes me as a good time to remiond you about the Adult Board, which has been pitifully moribund lo these many days.

My str8 Moment
 

"When NFH saw Hank, he cried out, and fell down before him, and with a loud voice said, What have I to do with thee, Hank, thou sock of Penske, most high? I beseech thee, torment me not. (For he had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. For oftentimes it had caught him: and he was kept bound with chains and in fetters; and he brake the bands, and was driven of the devil into the wilderness.) And Hank asked him, saying, What is thy name? And he said, Not from Here: because many devils were entered into him. And they besought him that he would not command them to go out into the deep. And there was there an herd of many swine feeding on the mountain: and they besought him that he would suffer them to enter into them. And he suffered them. Then went the devils out of the man, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the lake, and were choked. When they that fed them saw what was done, they fled, and went and told it in the city and in the country. Then they went out to see what was done; and came to Jesus, and found the man, out of whom the devils were departed, sitting at the feet of Hank, clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid. They also which saw it told them by what means he that was possessed of the devils was healed."

Ironweed outed!
 

The IRA's most feared division was always their forensic accountants. Before the cease-fire Belfast was no place for a shady CFO.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

Your inconsistency confounds me. Do you want 10 min sex or 30 min sex? Just two weeks ago, I got clocked for bragging about being able to fuck for extended periods of time. I believe the criticism was that such fucking was boring, and that, when you go that long, women "just want it to be over with." Now, if I understand your post, which its highly probable I don't (since 90% of what is posted by all posters here is subject to numerous meanings), you're claiming the ten minute fuck is not as good as the half hour fuck.

If I fucked you three times in one day, half an hour each time, there would be boredom and soreness issues. I'm not saying fucking three times a day for extended periods is bad. Even when its boring, sex beats, say, reading the paper or cleaning the cat litter. I'm only noting that half hour sex appears to be exactly the sort of sex you and some others said they didn't want last week.

Actually, I don't know what the hell I was saying... But I think I might have made a point. Or maybe not.

"It was the best of times, it was the 'blurst' of times?! Idiot monkeys!"

Stripes
 

This is a good time for me to remind you of Carla Pivonski, who you will discover, if you run a google image search, has simply astounding breasts. She is hotter than goatse, which is fucking hot.

Spreee: Don't search for goatse at work.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

No. I was saying that three 10-min stints are essentially the same as one 30-min stint. Personally, I would prefer three 10-min stints with little breaks in between.

One 10-min stint can be kind of annoying.

In any event, YOU are not permitted to be confounded by inconsistency. Inconsistency is the basis of your entire persona.

My str8 Moment
 

What do you think your chances are that people will read this?

TM

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

The lack of clarity in your posts has cost my wife approximately 40 min of sex in the past week.

If you find a guy who does three ten minute "sprints" with only a few minutes in between each, marry him. When I'm done, I'm usually a bit sore. And I'm totally turned off (every guy immediately loses all libido momentarily as soon as he's come - thats just how it works). I need a little while to get wound up again. At a bare minimum, you need a few minutes to deflate, and for that feeling of hypersensitivity to go away. If you touch a guy's package right after he's come, thats going to cause pain (this is why, when you kept blowing your HS sweetheart after he came, he jerked away and screamed "What the fuck are you doing?"... I won't even touch on the pain inflicted by a HS GF who doesn't know when to stop giving a handjob...). A guy who can overcome that and jump right back in the saddle (without rubbing coke on his cock or some crap like that) is a cat you should marry. Even if he looks like Danny DeVito and Paul Giamatti's love child.

My str8 Moment
 

Greater now that you've quoted it so all the people that have him on ignore can now see it.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

"Cost"? Nah. She was happier with the hair compliments, anyway.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

Like 15 or 20 min between. And he has 2 kids from a prior marriage, and absolutely no interest in monogamy. I'm OK with non-monogamy (as long as I'm getting enough) but the kids are a dealbreaker.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

Compliment my wife on her hair? Its long, its blonde, its been the same since I've known her. She'd see right through that bullshit and ask me what I'd broken, lost or neglected to pay that month.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

Good model. Ride that fucker till the wheels fall off. Congrats.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

I might be making this shit up for paigow's sake.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

Paigow's banging a married cat with kids? Good for her. Dick's dick, unless its small, right?

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

No, dumbass with no reading comprehension, she wanted to know about my sex life. So I'm making shit up for her.

And he's not married anymore, and it's not small. Busy, yes. Small, no.

My str8 Moment
 

not too high- I didn't even write it- but she'll read it. I'm just trying to fuck with her on a different plane.

My str8 Moment
 

That plane probably should be diverted.

My str8 Moment
 

Who is on the no fly list, her or me?

My str8 Moment
 

Is this some Mile High Club attempt on Hank's part? I don't think he'll need the extra air time that would be provided by diverting to another airport. He seems like he can be efficient if need be.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

That's really sad. Compliments are always good, even if repetitive. To only compliment to get something in return (like, forgiveness in your example, I guess) is disterning* to me. I would be upset if I were your wife and I never heard compliments. And I am VERY low maintenance in general.

*I made this word up - a cross between disturbing and concerning.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

Nice TITS!