Caddy smelled like trees. Millions and millions of trees.
 

Oprah suddenly raises the bar for the Book Club.

I made it on a bevel. It makes a neater job.

Can I get an A-men???
 

[gospel funk intro]Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Reverend of the First Church of Phonin' It In, the Sultan of Slack, the King of Quit, the Apostle of I'm-Outta-Here, the Four-O'Clock Phantom -- someone who has not forgotten what it means to be needy, and greedy, but to never, ever work too speedy -- please put your hands together for the softest working man in the legal business -- Thurgreeeeeeeeeeeeeed Marrrrrrrrrshallllllllllll!!![/gospel funk intro]

Can I get an A-men???
 

I'd write something nasty back, but I had to come in for like 5 hours on Saturday (if you can believe it) and I didn't get my regular nap, so go ahead and insult yourself.

TM

Can I get an A-men???
 

Don't waste your time with him T.

Ironweed, this is Thurgreed. Take it or leave it.

Proof that Sebastian Dangerfield has fans in TCOTU.
 

From overhea . . . ah, you knew that.

June 05, 2005

Yellow and Salty Ain't Shit, Honey

Girl #1: Oh my god, no offense, but that corn on the cob you made last night tasted like you wiped your ass with it.
Girl #2: Where the hell did that come from?
Girl #1: Sorry but I always associate corn with shit. Maybe I just put too much salt on it.

--54th & 1st

Proof that Sebastian Dangerfield has fans in TCOTU.
 

This merits an FDA inquiry. Perhaps the good people of Malvern, Kansas wiped their asses with it?

Proof that Sebastian Dangerfield has fans in TCOTU.
 

Holy crap! Atticus here in daylight, weekday hours?

Proof that Sebastian Dangerfield has fans in TCOTU.
 

Interesting. I also find it interesting that we have not heard from our newest member yet.

Just fyi - today I am not tiddy. Early conf call and no time to shave.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Why does the media think an 18 year old lost in Aruba is a lead story? This story, albeit sad and newsworthy for the back pages of the paper, ran for the first ten minutes of every newscast I flipped through this morning.

When will Bill Frist do something about this tragedy?

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I know this makes me seem shallow, but when I read the story all I could think of was that the women in the white top was built nice.
http://www.foxnews.com/images/165798...rl_prayers.jpg
June 5: Tourists attend a prayer vigil for Natalee Holloway

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Well, no one is going to have to retract anything on a lost kid story. This one and the runaway bride story happened over the weekend.

Can I get an A-men???
 

What happened to that poor guy's forehead?

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

All I could think of when I heard about this story was why an additional ten FBI officers were sent (meaning there were others who were and who need that much additional help?) out there to solve this mystery. What is it about this person that she should receive such attention? Maybe I should read the article.

TM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Well, clearly the federal government has solved the crime problem at home and now can look abroad.

Funny how the media doesn't spend nearly as much time on hundreds of women disappering in Juarez over the last ten years. Of course, they're poor factory workers and not American, so who cares.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Nothing, and no, you shouldn't. Thank me for saving ten minutes of your life.

Average looking blonde chick. From Alabama. Parents "exceptionally courageous," according to Katie Couric (a departure from her stingey usual description of "very courageous" or "incredibly strong").

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I read something on CNN and remain utterly confused. I speed read it and may have missed something, but why were two men arrested? ?Que?

I found this interesting. "She is described as being 5 feet 4 inches tall and 110 pounds." Yes, thank you. That is helpful. Aren't most high school girls 5 foot 4 inches tall and 110 pounds? Hell, add a few extra pounds for my fantastic TITS!!!! and they just described me.

Star Wars again
 

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

That Aruba would freak out I understand. All across America moms and Dads are cancelling senior trips for little Sally, and next years class trips are going elsewhere. So Aruba needs to do something.

The media? Its playing to Mom and Dad, so that's sort of understandable in the news as reporting on the "next thing to fear" mode. But yeah, I'd rather the 10 FBI guys stay on something else.

Boo
 

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/msnbc/Co...PotShot_8a.jpg

The closely watched case was an appeal by the Bush administration in a case involving two seriously ill California women who use marijuana. The court said the prosecution of pot users under the federal Controlled Substances Act was constitutional.

“I’m going to have to be prepared to be arrested,” said Diane Monson, one of the women involved in the case.

Stevens said the court was not passing judgment on the potential medical benefits of marijuana, and he noted “the troubling facts” in the case. Monson’s backyard crop of six marijuana plants was seized by federal agents in 2002, although the California law was on Monson’s side.

In a dissent, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor said that states should be allowed to set their own rules.

California’s medical marijuana law, passed by voters in 1996, allows people to grow, smoke or obtain marijuana for medical needs with a doctor’s recommendation. Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, Vermont and Washington state have laws similar to California.

Montana. This surprises me. Maine also. Hawaii, not so much.

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file
 

str8, you gonna stand for that?

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...742#post171742

Fringey's sex life
 

Huh. And I thought his personality trait for killing women when they go with him to his house was the relevant disqualifier. Live and learn.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

And long "dirty" blond hair (based on the photos I've seen). Actually I was just thinking how nice it must be for you, ABBA, to know that it will make national news if you ever go missing.*





*unless, of course, you are going missing in order to avoid a mistake marriage with some dorky guy and then are forced to lie about some "abduction" in order to make it appear less desperate and sad. thereby making it appear even more desperate and sad. not that this would happen to you, but I'm just allowing for all possibilities.


ETA: hat trick!

Fringey's sex life
 

Oh, blah blah blah. Killing shmilling Schilling.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Based on the pictures of her from the neck down I saw, if she is 5 foot 4, she weighs a lot more than 110. (That said, I think the average teenage girl is more like 135 pounds.)

Maybe that's 110 "disclosure pounds," which are usually 12-18% heavier than real pounds.

Poll: ladies: when disclosing your weight (to someone to whom you actually need to respond, other than your Dr. to whom you shouldn't lie tsk tsk), by how much do you fudge?

Me: about 10 pounds.

I. AM. AWESOME.
 

So, Friday night I get together with some sorority sisters and eventually we hook up with Commando Boy and some of his friends at a local bar that I have been to all of once before. Guess who else is at the bar: the ex Mr. Kiss. Nice. Truly fantastic. Of all the bars, why did you have to walk into mine.

Yada, yada, yada I proceed to become severely intoxicated and invite people over for an afterbar. Guess what I forgot? My keys. What to do, what to do. I KNOW!!!!! I will ask Commando Boy to break in! So he does!!!! Then we have a loud afterbar! It takes until 7 p.m. the next day to get the door fixed!!!!

My neighbors really hate me. They really, really hate me.

I. AM. AWESOME.

Fringey's sex life
 

That Fringey has learned to deal with, she's a big girl and would be careful,. the thing is, this guy could help her maximize her singing potential for the shift to Hollywood/ mid life crisis phase.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I am usually honest because I weigh a lot more than it looks like I weigh and people are usually surprised. It is because I have big bones, very muscular legs and fantastic TITS!!!!!

Boo
 

Hell, 75 percent of Texans support medical marijuana.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

ditto.

and what the fuck is the State of California doing printing my "weight" on my driver's license anyway? bullshit, I say.

Fringey's sex life
 

Half right.













* Yeah, I know, whiff.

Smoke if ya got 'em
 

Not me. They're a seriously libertarian red state slowly turning blue.

That the CJ and Thomas want to let me smoke pot, now that was a pleasant surprise.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I never fudged pre-pregnancy, and now I'm as big as fudgie the whale (hi, Coltrane!), so why lie?

Fringey's sex life
 

I don't sing. I don't even get this.

I fudge 5-10 lbs. Not sure why, since even knocking off those lbs I'm clearly a fattie, based on height. Though other than nurses, people frequently don't believe I weigh what I weigh. And it's not due to any muscley-ness, so I don't know where it comes from.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I never weigh myself so I have no idea what I weigh. I make something up if I absolutely have to disclose my weight - like on a form or something. Whenever the doctor weighs me I get on the scale backwards (the preferred pose of recovering anorexics). It doesn't mean anything anyway. Body fat percentage is the only thing that matters.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I weigh more than people usually think I do, too. It used to be because I was muscular, but now it's just ... because.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

OK, not because of you, but now that there are three of us, I'm reverting back to my original thought which is people who say "no fucking way you weigh _____!" are being polite/nice.

Smoke if ya got 'em
 

Thomas does not surprise me. And maybe it's because Rehnquist has cancer that he's a little more open to suggestion.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

What would you call it when someone who hasn't seen you in a while looks you up and down and says, with a thank-god-that's-not happening-to-me look on her face, "oh, you really ARE pregnant!"





(Actually, it was the ginormous boobs that inspired the comment. Really, it WAS! I swear!)

The best compliment ever
 

Usually I am too modest to post about how fantastic I am. But yesterday, I got a compliment so good I just have to share. I was at a party and this guy comes up to me and says "You look like you could be on the cover of a ZZ Top album".

I was not wearing red pumps with white socks. fwiw.

The best compliment ever
 

How long had it been since you bleached the facial hair?