Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I'd do Sting.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

It must be your spirit.



Yeah, feeble, but I've been off my game for months at and least I'm trying.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

I thought he just liked to watch.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

There is your first mistake. He is into some tantric meditation thing, which means he can fuck for, like, fourteen hours without coming. You'd get so bored you would eventually resort to talking to him just to pass the time, and Sting is one boring-ass motherfucking blowhard.

The best compliment ever
 

If you came into my frat with a CC type cd and dared put it on the basement stereo, it was smashed. Don't blame bad taste in music on fraternities.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Uncle. Where can I surrender my sword to you?

It's the end of the world as we know it.
 

Isaac Mizrahi has a new line of canine haute couture for Target Corp. I agree with Leno on this one - people should not dress their dogs. They hate it. Don't put shoes on your dog. Unless it's freezing.

Canine couture is the new buzzword in the fashion world. Attended by dogs and their celebrity owners, Mizrahi's show was the first of its kind to be held during New York’s famous Olympic Fashion week in February and has been hailed as a milestone by the pet industry.

Since Mizrahi’s successful show, which featured hot pink and orange polo shirts for dogs, similar scenes have been repeated across the country from Hollywood, Calif., to Hollywood, Fla., and many cities in between.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Co...ers.htease.jpg
Argyle sweaters from Gooby help keep dogs warm on cold days.
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Co...eal.htease.jpg
G-Boots from Gooby Pet Fashion are soft and flexible with a rubber sole.
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Co...ube.htease.jpg
Designer Kara Kono's summer sizzler is the Jennifer tube dress.
A tube dress for a dog. People.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Co...11A.htease.jpg
That poor cat.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

To quote the Bloodhound Gang:

"This hardcore ghetto gangsta image takes a lot of practice/
I'm not black like Barry White, no I'm white like Frank Black is."

The best compliment ever
 

See, I was gonna put in a "apologies to Sebby, Slave, and the other frat cats out there," but decided against it. You may not like it, but you know what I meant when I described somebody as a frat boy lunk head. It may not be fair or accurate, but it brings to mind a stereotype that these guys fit perfectly.

Not blaming bad musical taste on fraternities, though I vaguely recall hearing way too much ska while I was drinking their beer. And Steve Miller. Joker of love or not, I don't need to hear it.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
 

The truth that one should not dress up one's dog is self-evident; no citation needed, particularly not to someone as unworthy of citation as Leno.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Screw him. It's all about his double-play partner:

http://www.georgesstamps.com/sports/...ngton_1982.jpg

Today's gossip
 

Katie Holmes does not deny being engaged to midget-boy.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/ap/mtv13...24.hmedium.jpg
I hate Tom Cruise.

Holmes says...“I'm so happy. I mean I … I'm thrilled,” she said. “I'm so in love with Tom and that's all that I care about. He's just the most amazing man in the whole world.”

I am the luckiest woman in the whole world. That’s how I feel. When I saw him I was, like, ‘Tom, where’s the door?’ Oh, God, you know? I was excited, sure. I’m going to come. When Tom calls for me, I’m coming.”

It's the end of the world as we know it.
 

Someone recently asked me if I ever considered putting ribbons in the Displaced Dog's dreadlocks. I think I may have frightened them with my glare.

Today's gossip
 

They look horrible together. I have never believed Mr. Cruise to be attractive. Katie is cute but she should not be with someone she dwarfs.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
 

They might look good with some weed mixed in, though. Kinda like the beards on the dudes from Culture on the cover of Two Sevens Clash.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...CMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

It's the end of the world as we know it.
 

You should go see a doctor.

Spirit-Girl
 

How'd the Condo board (or whatever) meeting go? Did they know it was you? Did you offer to pay for the damages to the front door? Did you apologize? Did you drink? Did you blow anyone? Was Commando boy there? Did your neighbor bring her pets? If so, were they properly dressed?

We need to know these things.

TM

Spirit-Girl
 

The condo meeting went MUCH better than expected.

They knew it was me because I told them it was me and apologized immediately Saturday morning with a note on the door and a personal apology when I saw them. (We are only four units).

I had the door fixed as soon as possible and I paid for it (obiously).

I did NOT drink prior to or at (or after) the meeting.

I did blow someone, but that was later. I also had all the sex several times (not at the meeting). I tried to be quiet.

The pets were not dressed and I was embarassed for them, being naked in public and all. I was naked (later) but not at the meeting. No one was naked at the meeting.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
 

He picks up a lot of plant life in his dreads when he explores under the philidendrum. I did once get him a Guatemalen collar sort of like thishttp://imagescommerce.bcentral.com/m...ueMyan_UpC.jpgthat featured green and yellow and red rather prominently.

That's as far as I'd ever go to dressing up one of my dogs.

Spirit-Girl
 

This sort of "reporting on details" post can often be made better reading by adding photographs.

Can someone from Texas tell me the name of the biggest paper in san Antonio?

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Currently in my cd changer is the Thievery Corporation cd with the tune that Flower has said makes him feel like he is in an ultra-exclusive club with beautiful models all around. I must be listening to it wrong, however, because I just feel like a guy in a car when I listen to it. Also in cd changer:

Another Thievery Corporation CD (boy am I gay)
De La Soul Mixtape CD (lots of good guest stuff from Mos Def and others and hilarious live version of Potholes in my Lawn)
The Gorillaz (first one with Clint Eastwood or whatever that "woo-roo-koo-koo" song is called)
Virus 100 (Dead Kennedys covers by various people - my friend made me put it in and I skip it all the time but am too lazy to take it out - good hiphop version of "California Uber Alles" though and Napalm Death's version of Nazi Punks Fuck Off is good for road rage moments)
Lee Scratch Perry compilation

Spirit-Girl
 

I apologize for boring you, Mr. Chinaski. I have sort of had a lot of drama recently and was trying to keep things cool. Mundane.

Spirit-Girl
 

Tell the biggest paper in San Antonio what? About Abba's condo meeting?

I always liked Katie Holmes. I'm having severe doubts now.

Spirit-Girl
 

not boring, but even the Bible benefits from the odd illustration.

Spirit-Girl
 

Why is that? Because she is in love with the biggest star in the world? A guy whom (gay or not) 99% of the women would give their right arm to touch, let alone, fuck or marry?

Is it because he's short? Religious? Crazy? Has strange tooth arrangement? Is allegedly gay? Broke Nicole Kidman's heart?

TM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Speaking of Gorillaz, has anyone picked up the new record? Any thoughts?

Spirit-Girl
 

It's the Scientology, which covers both "religious" and "crazy," with emphasis on the crazy.

Is he really the biggest star in the world? Huh. I'm not much of one for action movies.

I liked her mostly because I like North Carolina, and I was under the mistaken impression that Dawson's Creek was set in North Carolina, not just filmed there. That does explain why no one had accents.

As you can no doubt see, I have put a lot of thought and character analysis and stuff into both Ms. Holmes and Mr. Cruise, and also into the bases of their relationship.

You are really hurting for material if you chose this to have a rant about.

Spirit-Girl
 

I don't think this is true. I have yet to hear a girl say "Tom Cruise is hot". It's usually Clooney, Bloom, Pitt, Not Bob, etc. Cruise is never lumped in with those guys. Most girls find him...artificial. Just like how Yankees fans think A-Rod is artificial. Too refined publicly. They say nothing interesting and do nothing interesting, b/c they are so worried about image. It seems like every word spoken was written by their agents. Clooney, Pitt, etc. seem like pretty cool guys...on top of being celebrities. They don't appear to be cautiously guarded, and every response to any question isn't predetermined.

Spirit-Girl
 

I think Tom Cruise is hot. I've had a major crush on him ever since Risky Business. I'd fuck him. On a train even.

Spirit-Girl
 

You got it. Packaged, not genuine, not interesting, and full of himself.

By the way, who the fuck is he to criticize Brooke Shields or anyone for using antidepressants? MYOB.

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...
 

Bastards didn't leave you much, eh?

Kidding. Thanks to the satellite radio, I have no CDs in my car changer. Mrs. Not Bob has the new Gwen Stefani CD in hers, and -- as much as it pains me to admit, because I dig Gwen and No Doubt -- if I never hear "Hollaback Girl" again, it will be too soon.

The home changer has Paul Simon's Still Crazy After All These Years, Shawn Colvin's A Few Small Repairs, If You Lived Here You'd Be Home By Now by the Nields, and a Nat King Cole greatest hits type disc.

Spirit-Girl
 

I was going to mention that I don't find him attractive -- the last time I did was when he was in Risky Business and I was quite young then -- but then I figured I'm just in the top 1%. Which is normal for me.

Spirit-Girl
 

One of the many unique things about Scientology is their hatred of psychiatrists and the use of drugs for treatment of mental illnesses. He's just being a good practitioner of his faith.

Six Feet Under
 

Not reall spoiler but







1) I thought that line David had about Claire staying with her nice gay bf was the best line.

2) Lisa rocks. I loved the spirtual line, too. However, I didn't think it was so much paradise/me as misguided/guided. I dont think being to me includes mantrapping, which, lets face it, is what Lisa did. But i guess the business about the preggos could support the paradise/me POV. Good for Brenda. She is trying to go to her.

3) Jeremy Sisto is one of the sexiest things around. If not the sexiest.

4) I find the Keith/David relationship heartwarming. I liked David's line that if they got the surrogate kid and the adopted kid at the same time, they would just be busy.

5) Rico/Ricky. What's the point?

Spirit-Girl
 

Replace "packaged" with "ugly", and you've decribed Julia Roberts, today's biggest female star...

Spirit-Girl
 

Mmmmmmm, Bathsheba.

Spirit-Girl
 

You do understand, guys on death row won't have access to all the grooming products you might normally expect?

Spirit-Girl
 

It would be a writing relationship, not an in-person relationship.

Spirit-Girl
 

I am hurting for material, but that's not a rant. I just think it's funny that people act like Tom Cruise is undesirable when he is objectively good looking, has wealth beyond what any of us could possibly understand and is the biggest star in the world.

He has a good life. Even if she just wants to seal her future, she's no dummy.

TM

eta: In response to Coltrane, he is no longer mentioned with Pitt (or Clooney, although, I think he's fading) as the sexiest man alive, but you're crazy if you don't think most women would be falling all over themselves to spend a few minutes with him. People are star struck, pure and simple.

Spirit-Girl
 

Thanks, I knew it was a Scientology thing. Which comes first, being an ass, or becoming a scientologist? It's intolerance no matter how you slice it. The fact that his criticism was consistent with his "religion" makes him no less of a schmuck for commenting publicly on it. If he were a Jehovah's Witness would he criticize, I don't know, Gary Busey for getting a blood transfusion to save his life after the umpteenth time he crashed his motorcycle without wearing a helmet? Brooke Shields was, according to her account, so depressed she could barely care for her child or bond with her. It seems to me that whatever help a person gets in that situation should be lauded, not criticized. The very point of Brooke Shields's publicizing her problem is that post-natal depression is something for which many women don't seek help. She was trying to remove a stigma (something I really don't understand -- I've been depressed and gotten help for it, although I preferred not to use AD's -- what's the big deal in admitting that?) and he was trying to create one.
He's a schmoe.