Non lawyer jobs/Preggo jokes
 

Here are the non-lawyer jobs that former fellow lawyer friends have gone to after the law:

Westlaw
Lexis
Investment Banks on the business side
Municipal court judge (then you can ban preggo jokes from the courthouse)
Running a law library at a big firm
Claims Adjusting (huge claims under huge policies) at a big insurer
Doing mediation or arbitration in their own business or in another
Legal Recruiter
Teaching - either law professors (but that's almost impossible to do these days without top of the top creds b/c of the competition) or becoming anywhere from K through high school or college teachers with minimal extra schooling.
Real estate agents (mostly single friends b/c the hours are rough - weekends of open houses and constant calls)
FBI Special Agent (but I think you have to be 35 or 33 or something or under) - kind of cool and even better if you speak Arabic
Business and other positions at nonprofits
Marketing/PR
Stay at home Mommy positions (these have the toughest hours and worst pay; but good (non-money) benefits).

For when you get those dumb preggo jokes, you could try being semi-fresh and saying with a smile on your face: "Uh, oh.....here we go with the do-you-play-basketball-jokes about the tall person" or something like that. The subtle point being that you think the jokes are old and played out (i.e., not clever) and you're not saying the Judge is being actionable or personally offensive or anthing. Just silly and you want to move on.

Non lawyer jobs/Preggo jokes
 

a) I have strongly considered doing some mediations - I have the training and if you have the knack for it it is pleasant work. I have some logistics problems that I would need to work out, but this one is definitely at the top of my list.

b) I would definitely consider this when the kneeebiters are a bit bigger - I've looked into the extra training and it's not too bad at all. Teacher pay really is stinky here, but the hours and vacation time is a massive plus.

c) How old do you think I am? ;) I doubt they would want me. I have a good friend who just went into the secret service, btw, and em is absolutely loving em's work.

Ha - I am tall and I know all about the lame BB comments. :rolleyes: As a matter of fact, on the way out of the courtroom, opposing cousel asked me if I used to play sports. My brother is 6'6" and gets the BB thing all the time. His answer? "No, the guitar."

For anyone raising couch potatoes
 

Apparently little couch potatoes are mean.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/paren...eut/index.html

Non-legal Jobs
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by TexLex
So I'm tired of law. Mostly clients, really. And the lawyers. Any ideas what one can do to make money without leaving the babies for very long (besides selling one of them)? OK, unrealistic, perhaps. Maybe I can do something law-related p/t that doesn't involve clients? That would be OK too, even something horribly boring - it would make a nice break, quite frankly.


I recently changed jobs and now teach legal research & writing at a local law school. Pay doesn't seem great at first- $45K- but I only have to be on campus 2 days/week, average weekly hours are 20-25, and I have entire summer off. (there are 3 weeks/year where I have to be there every day to meet w/students individually). So I could do contract work or something on the side and end up with a pretty decent yearly salary, or, just enjoy the time off. I'd recommend it b/c you can still use your legal background, and students love the anecdotes, etc.

For anyone raising couch potatoes
 

My favorite thing about that story is that the top advertiser link says, "Find a Television at Dell."

book recs
 

Unsolicited book rec: If you have an approx. four year old, consider reading some Daniel Pinkwater books to em. When I was childless I found him annoying on NPR, but now that I have a kid showing glimmers of a goofy sense of humor, I can appreciate Pinkwater's bizarre books. There are many, so start at the library.

book recs
 

Unsolicited feeding rec: upon getting a new high chair for a not-quite-one-year-old (who has nearly outgrown and can escape the "attach to the table" chair he had and therefore has been getting fed while running laps around the coffee table), do not be so inspired by the image of him in his big-boy chair that you decide maybe it is a good idea to let him spoon out some oatmeal for himself.

If you do, don't then fool yourself that the problem is that he has a spoon rather than the fact that he has a big bowl of mush within reach.

If you do that, don't laugh because it encourages him.

If you do laugh, don't let that delay getting the bowl of mush out of his hands before he rubs it into his hair.

If you do, don't wipe off his head while forgetting to get the mush out of his reach so he can spread it all over the new highchair, too.

Trepidation(Baby's back to running around the coffee table until the seat cover gets out of the laundry)Mom

Trepidation_Mom, we have used a cheap strap-to-the-chair type booster seat that can be used with or without the tray since the Lexling turned about 14mos and it has worked out very well.

http://store1.yimg.com/I/barebabies-store_1837_14615416

And what are you thinking giving babies spoons???...might as well give them firearms for the damage they do with them.

Oy, what have I gotten myself into? That's a complex piece of machinery. And this kid is already costing me a fortune -- my take-out lunch cost $19 (out of control fruit craving, meet salad bar).

Well, he's frustrated that he can't control everything he sees. If he sees us eating, he wants what we're eating (which is fine if it's pizza and not so OK if it's steak - yes, we give the baby pizza, call child services). If he sees us talking on the phone, he wants the phone, and he's managed to randomly reprogram the fricking thing with features I didn't even know it had. Don't even talk to me about the TV remote - we took the batteries out of it ages ago so he can click to his heart's content (he's such a guy about the remote).

So he refuses to be a passive participant in his feeding. Sometimes he's content to wave an empty spoon around or bang it while we shovel food into his mouth, sometimes not. Sometimes he's adequately distracted by those little kiddie saussages, sometimes not. Sometimes he'll sit still for a while, sometimes he screams in the chair but eats happily if we follow him around the apartment while he chases his toys or tears up magazines. Once we even gave him the toilet brush (his favorite magic wand) to bang on the toilet and fed him on the floor of the bathroom, which at least made clean-up easier.

At least once he's walking independently the following-around-feeding thing will be easier on my back and knees.

I know nothing about this whole parenting gig, but I'd like to give you an award. The Coolest Parents Of An Infant Award. Unless he's a toddler at this point, in which case I'll have to work on the name of the award.

Child #1 - all home-made organic baby mush, no juice until almost 2 years, etc. etc.

Child #2 - mostly jarred organic baby mush, some sweets and stuff, ice cream and juice around 1 year

Child #3 - 8 mos old - pizza is her favorite food.

Child #4 - table scraps

Child #5 - Bourbon in a bottle.

I'm only on Child #2, so I have much to look forward to.


etfs

Uh, I have friends with Childs 4 and 5, and it's more like:

• Child #2: "Mom, the baby's in the dog dish again!"
  
  Mom: {thinks, then shrugs} "Meh."

My third niece's first solid food was the fistful of combination pizza she grabbed from the table at five months. They decided to reward her initiative by letting her keep the sausage. By the time her two brothers arrived, the standards for panic had sunk to the "It is poo? If no, ignore." flowchart level.

Whew.
 

It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

Sort of like the progression of:

Child #1: Sterilize all pacifiers, bottle nipples, etc. in boiling water for 10 minutes, repeat procedure if any of the above come in contact with the floor.

Child #2: Clean under some running water for a few seconds

Child#3 et seq.: blowing off any dust and a wipe on Mom's sleeve ought to do the trick.