TdF Question
 

Two crabs were walking along a beach, a mother and her young child. "My child!" exclaimed the Mother Crab, "Why do you walk sideways like that? Why do you not walk straight like the other creatures on this beach?" to which the young crab replied, "Well, mother... it appears to me that I walk exactly as you do. Go first and show me how, and I will gladly follow!"

Bill Simmons Mailbag...from his FEMALE readers...
 

I'm sure that most of us would love to hear you ask (beg) for it.

TdF Question
 

Well, I like to assess the student's needs at each class, but I'm planning to work on penmanship (practice writing alphabet, in cursive, with tongue; extra emphasis on o); ratios; knot tying (there's an after school sailing program); debate skills (topic: persuade me to do something I've "never done before" or don't want to do); acting (scene: persuade me that he's "never done that before"); physics (gravity, momentum, I never took college physics, so I'll have to ahem, bone up on all that stuff before class, or maybe I'll just wing it); phys ed, naturally (push ups, sit ups, (very light!) weight lifting, stretching, handstands, etc. etc.); anatomical terms/creative writing/elocution (aka dirty talk). This ought to fill 40 minutes or so.

Bill Simmons Mailbag...from his FEMALE readers...
 

Youre probably looking forward to monday, when the tour is over and the discussion will end up shifting to football and excrement instead. and aslo various female body functions. Yee hah

TdF Question
 

Are you calling me old?

Befriend me
 

you couldalways go with "banger" or "bangee".

Shifty
 

For shifty, so he can take his mind off of slave and back to Tina.
http://store1.yimg.com/I/bachelorett..._1798_14858036
However, I feel some false advertising is afoot, as the packaging does not look like the doll.
actual doll here spree - doll is fairly anatomically correct, so I didn't feel right about posting her pic - with the exception of the red Xs for nipples.

TdF Question
 

It was on the beach.

You're clearly a hot mama.

I hate having to explain these things.

Shifty
 

How do you people access these sites at work? (Not passing judgment -- I tried to access it and got the old, "I don't think so you perv!" screen.)

Shifty
 

My IT people at least have a sense of humor. This pic showed up. ("Dude, let's set it up so that he can see the inflatable naughty nurse, but not the real one!" "Snake, you are a friggen genius, man! Pass me the skittles." "Uh, Pigpen, don't drool on the joint so much next time. It's gross.")

Shifty
 

Can we get a Chasey Lain pic on the adult board? Less?

sorry....
 

Thanks. You're post gave me an idea. If I get the cold shoulder rollover this time, I think I will follow it up the next morn by dipping his hand in a bowl of warm water and help him to wake up in a different kind of wetspot.

Shifty
 

It's bachelorette.com - geez, thousands of people use it for party favors. IT's a fairly harmless site (other than the blow-up nurse). Tell your nazis to ease up. Or what also works is to loan them your bong, or take them out for drinks at lunch - you're good for the day. But the best part is the description on the box.

Shifty
 

See Fringy? Someone's sportin wood.
Run with it.

Shifty
 

When I was a summer associate, I was assigned to work witha partner who was suing a party for setting up websites with url's that sounded a lot like our clients name or product, when in fact these sites were porn sites. The partner asked me to visit each of these sites and draft memorandum outlining what I viewed on each site. The first embarrassing thing about that was calling IT and explaining why they didn't need to call the recruiting coordinator regarding my on-line activites. The second embarrassing thing about that was trying to figure out how to describe what most of the sites featured without coming out and saying "blow job" or "ass fucking".

Two weeks later, I set a trashcan on fire in the office of the chair of the recruiting committee while smoking (against firm policy) with her. It is an absolute wonder that they made me an offer.