Sad story
 

Even if he uses lots of lube?

Sad Monkey
 

Anger isn't the word you're looking for, and unbridled should really be more "surging, pulsing" and/or "engorged."

Sad Monkey
 

I think you just sent SS to the bathroom again. Naughty monkey.

Sad Monkey
 

Hey, don't besmirch my name like that. I'm not confused and I've no hope PLF knows, but he did imply he did, so, trying to be accommodating, I asked.

Sad story
 

When would one wear the camo -type battle gear as opposed to whatever other type of battle gear there is?

Sad story
 

Eh, he was rude, so yeah. Besides, too much, and it's just overkill.

I Had A Dream
 

Flinty beat (tee hee!) all of us to the joke here.

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that I haven't gotten around to sharing with the Board. This one had no recently departed news anchors -- it was populated entirely of FB people.

I was riding on a bus with Sequels. Coltrane and Sebby had just died engaging in a heroic ocean rescue (although those rescuers perished, the victims survived), and Sequels was devastated. As we rode along toward our undetermined destination, I consoled her while she wept over her lost love and the wedding and the family that was never to be. As I was tut-tutting and telling Sequels how much Coltrane loved her (all the while holding back my tears over my lost internet love, out of deference to his beloved wife), the bus driver piped up and said, in a snarky tone, "Don't listen to her sentimental crap. Coltrane had cold feet, big time, and only proposed because you were both hitting thirty and he saw the ultimatum on the wall."

I turned to see that it was Piagow driving the bus. She had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and was wearing a getup you might see on Stevie Nicks, if she were homeless. Lots of chiffon and whatnot. She had her left foot, which was shod in a high-heeled strappy sandal, up on the dash, which was curious because the bus had a manual transmission.

I turned my attention away from the driver and back to Sequels, to whom I said, "Don't listen to her, she's crazy, and bitter because Coltrane was never her internet boyfriend. Coltrane really loved you. He said that you were the only woman he'd ever dated whom he wanted to be with exclusively. If you don't believe me, ask Gwinky, DTB, and Fringey."

I think Sequels was consoled, but at that point my attention was again distracted, this time by the fact that the bus was headed straight for the river. At this point I noticed empty Shiraz bottles and wine-filled chocolate boxes on the bus floor, and I called out, "Who the fuck let Paigow drive the fucking bus?"

As the river drew ever closer, and I pondered how the newspaper headline would convey the painful irony of Sequels's perishing in a water-related accident so soon after losing her fiance to a water rescue (and how my love affair with Sebby would never be acknowledged) I realized, with great relief, that we were riding on one of those duck tour buses.

When I got off in front of the Lincoln Memorial, Thurgreed was there to meet me, and the first thing he said was, "Who the fuck let Paigow drive the fucking bus?"

Sad Monkey
 

Hank, your Beefeaters is showing.

Sad story
 

I would think better overkill than underkill.

Sad Monkey
 

Shit, you got me.

Holy hell, so much paranoia.

Sad story
 

Why don't you consult the Military Regulations on Uniforms?

There's different colored camo for different environments, and you presumably want to wear the right one. And then there are snow suits and stuff like that.

Since it's fashion week, do you have a battle uniform proposal that you want evaluated?

In the end, though, I assume your commanding officer will tell you. That, or whatever you're issued. Do you think I'm in the military? Don't you know some ex-mil. guys? It might be a good pick up line: "So what do you wear under your camo?"

Sad story
 

Maybe if it's the warming kind.

Sad story
 

My original comment stemmed from the mixing of the jungle-looking camo with the desert-looking camo. It would seem to undermine the whole point of camo, which I think is to provide camoflage. And it was meant to be funny. Geez. Cranky.

Sad story
 

Do you know where I can get a Lieutenant's dress uniform?

Sad story
 

I thought we went over this. It's commando and if you have to ask, they'll probably laugh her out of the bar.
If you're out on the field, it's camo. Beige or green depending on jungle or desert. I think the snow gear is just outer wear.

Sad story
 

You've already shown your true colors and blown it, kityy-boy. She's not going to fall for the nicey-nice act now. Crawl back to your sandbox and try to rub out the dingleberries.

I Had A Dream
 

Owning a dachsund usually means repressed homosexuality, unless he owns one IRL.

Fashion Boy
 

You'd look good in this.
http://www.acewigs.com/shop/image_up...ryjersey_M.jpg

Or are you talking old skool?
http://www.civilization.ca/hist/balls/images/ball12.jpg

Kill Reality
 

It was actually me declining to walk away with the $100,000 my four-person team had already won on Greed, risking it in an attempt to answer the $200,000 question, despite the fact that we were told the question was going to be in a category that could not have been worse for me --- ballroom dancing.

Sad story
 

Wilde and Parker caught the last train to Clarksville long ago. If you're lucky, though, every once in a while, someone will pull an Alexander Wollcott or a Henry Kauffman out of em's ass.

Fashion Boy
 

No good. Sebby gets a mean camel toe in tight pants.

Sad story
 

If you get sent to a war, and bring your wrong camo color do you get sent home to get the right one?

I Had A Dream
 

When you have these dreams, do people look like their avatar?

Sad story
 

I don't do that to all the girls. Not after that horrible mess with you and Slave taught me the value of being choosy.

Sad story
 

Presumably from a Lieutenant.

Sad story
 

You really miss bath time, don't you?

Fashion Boy
 

Too bad that. This one comes in sizes petite to 4X. With rubber accents.

dammit, that was a good one too. edited to provide link.

http://www.costumeexpo.com/Products/...itary_girl.jpg

Sad story
 

I forget -- where were you on the fetus thing? Doesn't that make 5?

I Had A Dream
 

Sequels looked like the girl from American Pie. The hot one.

Sad story
 

Yeah. And people get all sensitive and shit about it, too.

Sad story
 

Don't make me hurt you.

I almost like you.

I Had A Dream
 

Mena Suvari? Natasha Lyonne? The chick from Buffy?

Sad story
 

This is about hyphens, isn't it? Go ahead; I can take it, even if it will crush all my self-respect.

I Had A Dream
 

You need to develop a more discerning sense of taste in music.

I Had A Dream
 

Please. Alison Hannigan is cute, but definitely not hot.

I was referring to the exchange student chick. But now that you mention Buffy, Sequels actually she looked more like Cordelia than like the American Pie chick.

Sad story
 

Boy or girl?

Sad story
 

Don't play coy with me, missy. I invented that trick.

You've been warned.

I Had A Dream
 

Suvari hot?

She should rent her forehead to GoldenPalace.com. You could play handball off that thing.

The only thing uglier is her acting.

Three thumbs down. In everything, including Pie and Beauty.

I Had A Dream
 

No pillow fight with Sequels?

Sad story
 

Which is more slimming?

Scratch that... I want the one with ruffles.