Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

You wouldn't dare. Unless you were hyped up on drugs or something.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I had a girlfriend that I really liked, but the relationship had peaked for me. She brought home a Modern Bride magazine. I bought her a 3 year subsciption. She did not dump me until I slept with Pretty Little Flower, however.

All it takes is Argyle?
 

That has happened to me too! What did you do about it?

lies
 

Well, that's fair.

But I don't want to talk to you about everthing. You can have great communication in a relationship without having to share absolutely everything. If I had an incredible relationship with some hot girl that burned itself out relatively quickly, but turned into a friendship that I value (but only keep up with here and there), I don't want to have to explain the ins and outs of that relationship to you in the name of communication. I find this is common on the female side of the relationship. You must communicate for the sake of communication. Sometimes it's unnecessary. Just because you want to know everything doesn't make it necessary.

The conversations about past girlfriends NEVER go well. And when they do, one party is holding back (either the teller is not telling everything or the listener isn't sharing all of their feelings about it or asking all of the questions they have -- and these questions WILL get asked at some point (more headaches for later)).

The fact remains that it is no big deal. I may be at fault for making it a big deal if you find out about it. But if you never do, it remains NO BIG DEAL. The simple fact that you don't know about it doesn't (in and of itself) make it a big deal -- especially if you don't find out about it.

If the issue we are debating centered on something that was a big deal to me that I was trying to hide from you, then the lack of communication is probably fatal. But I don't see how keeping something from you that amounts to nothing (and that you won't find out about) is such an issue.

TM

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Was he your first?

All it takes is Argyle?
 

I told Bilmore to sigh.

Clark
 

Yes, Yes, Yes! I have thought the same thing to myself a million times! (Except for the gay thing. Only because the gay community here hasn't invited me to any political events, those bastards.) Why can't more Democratic activists be normal people?

Oh, and I have two strange political encounters. The first was back when the Republicans first took over the House of Representatives, and Newt Gingrich had just become speaker. My wife had gone out of town for a weekend (it was not Washington DC), and we were having dinner in a local restaurant. Newt walked in, and all of these middle aged white people stood up and started applauding. I kid you not.

The second was last year. I was taking an out of town depostion, and was riding down the elevator of the hotel one morning when a guy got on. He looked kind of familiar, and we said good morning to each other. I just knew he was the managing partner of my firm's Bismark, ND office, or maybe the lawyer who was on the other side of the MacGillicuddy case, or something. I just couldn't place him.

We got to the lobby, and there was a kid in a suit waiting there, and he said "Good morning, Senator." I then realized it was Joe Lieberman.

Clark
 

You did an out of town depo with Joe Lieberman? Did your wife find out? Has he paid you any hush money?

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

What is this, a hearsay quiz?

Clark
 

No, no, no. I saw Joe in the elevator after I finished "deposing" my special lay-dee.

As for who Joe was deposing, well, I didn't see Haddasah. But Jeanine Garafolo and "Rock the Vote" may have been in town.*

Note to Joe's lawyers: I am kidding. Uh, to Jeanine's, too. And MTV's.

Clark
 

Oo, I got one too.

Eating lunch with an ex-business associate in a small local restaurant/bar. Some weird guys in suits and cold eyes walk in, look the place over, and walk up to our table. My friend is smiling slyly at me. Mondale walks in, sits down with us, and eats lunch with us. (Turns out they used to work together, are still friends.) Several law-school-buddy types are in the place watching, (it's a courthouse-type bar) making me the local legend-for-a-day amongst the friends.

BTW, I told them I couldn't discuss why I had lunch with Mondale. Man of mystery.

Clark
 

WAY too many to count. A sampling:

Working in politics as a young twenty-something, there was one point in time when I had no shortage of attractive young female interns and assistants (luckily, as described below, this was not an extended period of time). Well, it soon became clear that one of my functions as their employer was to serve as chaperone whenever one particular statewide elected official I was more than somewhat beholden to was in the vicinity.

I spent many evenings that would have been more productive elsewhere doing an imitation of an utterly vacant third wheel as everyone but elected sleezeball did their best to get out of a variety of situations. (Yes, hilarity ensued.)

On another occassion, uninvited elected official under indictment strolls into fundraiser for my friend Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean expresses exasperation and another buddy and I take on task of convincing Mr. Striped Shirt that he should be someplace else that evening. Ultimately, after it becomes clear that Mr. Striped Shirt is doing his best to associate with Mr. Clean in every way, shape and form ("I'd be happy to leave, I just want to get a say hello to Mr. Clean; Oh, is that a photographer over there?"), Mr. Striped Shirt gets his wish of a photograph with Mr. Clean -- as Mr. Clean forcibly evicts him.

lies
 

In my relationships we talk about everything anyway. ad nauseum. So why wouldn't we talk about this?

I deal with the ex thing all the time. If there seems to be some romantic attachment and I am uncomfortable I let the gf know, but I am not angry if she goes, nor do I say she shouldn't. I don't think I have the right to tell a woman who she can and cannot see.

Normally, if gf in question knows I am uncomfortable, I find, the night doesn't last long, or she invites me to go along, if she still goes. Same thing in reverse. It just isn't an issue for me. I'm not a particularly jealous person, I don't assume people are lying to me, and I assume the best of intentions. Yes, I am naive, I know this. I don't plan on changing. I am not however so naive that I haven't learned that when someone doesn't tell me about something, there is normally a reason for it, and a reason I won't like.

Such is the case here. When a woman goes out with another woman and doesn't tell me about it, every single time, when I find out, and I always do, small community - big gossips, it always turns out to be something bad.

Clark
 

You are on fire today, ncs. !En Fuego!

Clark
 

The other day I saw former prime minister of Canada Brian Mulroney on 56th st (chewing gum no less). I said to the person I was walking with "that's former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney" (of course the person had no idea what I was talking about). I must have said it loudly, because Brian heard, and chuckled.

A lot of my friends are into politics so I have gone to leadership conventions, fundraisers etc where there have been tons of people like leagl described (total no-life weirdos), but my weirdest political encounter involved former PM John Turner (who was actually a very good looking guy, and a total lush). I served him many many many drinks one night because I was bartending a political fundraiser. He kept hitting on me and it was pretty gross but I probably would have slept with him had his handlers not eventually dragged him off.

Anyway, later on I went to law school and interviewed at this firm where he was a partner. I didn't realize I would be meeting with him, but I did, and he did the usual spiel about how great the firm was. And I thought, this is good - no awkwardness - he doesn't remember me at all. And at the end I stood up to go and said it was very nice to meet him, blah blah, and he smiled and said, "we've met before - you've changed your hair. It looks nice." I was totally freaked out. I didn't go to that firm.