This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

Green elephant:

• hold army fatigue shirt sleeve against recipients head.
  blow shotgun up sleeve
  hold sleeve on as recipient begin trying to pull away for air.
  release before lack of oxygen does permanent damage

Dude, don't bogart that summary judgment brief!
 

you can be rather cutting for a Canadian.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

Never mind on the language question.

Dude, don't bogart that summary judgment brief!
 

If only you'd said "why don't you just leave -- everyone would be happier if you didn't post" I would totally understand why I get y'all mixed up.

And, really, who is not better than me, IYO?

Dude, don't bogart that summary judgment brief!
 

Which issue was she in?

Dude, don't bogart that summary judgment brief!
 

Maybe. But (i) I sort of doubt it and (ii) the point was more about how overly-directed and tracked they were, not drug use per se. These weren't the gen pop lawyers we were complaining about being fuddy-duddies, it was the new grads and kids fresh out of college, and already they are ossified and humorless. There are such a lot of people in this business with sticks up their asses... and I'm distressed to think it's not just the law but the world in general that is seeing more of these bland walking resumes who have spent their whole lives going through their paces with "my kid is an honors student at ______" bumperstickers on their butts.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

Last I knew, which was several years ago now, DEA has a zero tolerance policy for prior drug use. None allowed. And they talk to basically everyone you've ever met to try to sniff out people lying on the app. In a way it makes sense, b/c they wouldn't want anyone who might "borrow" a bit from the stash on the way to the evidence intake room, but in a sense it is really stupid because you end up with people who don't really understand anything about drug culture other than All Drug Use Is Inherently Wrong.

And no, I wasn't applying, I just knew someone (god was he boring - sunny would have loved him!) who was pretty far along in the process.

On the other hand, I knew a guy who did undercover drug bust work as a NY State Trooper, and he was a cool, laid-back guy, who admitted to prior pot use. So their stds must be more lax. He grew an awful goatee when he was going undercover, so we started calling him Jazz Man.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

I remember those. One time, after a particularly plentiful "lunch" I had to go the the Dean's office to pick up something for the school paper. His secretary sniffed as I came in and asked me if I had been camping recently.

I miss my old field jacket. 25 years later, I bet I could still catch a buzz just slipping it over my head.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

You have to use a crocheting needle to make the hole. It's perfect for you.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

How could you tell it was him?

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

Coooool, Kitten.

Dude, don't bogart that summary judgment brief!
 

It was the Anne Rice special double-issue. Ironically, I bought it just for the vampire stories. Does this make me gay?

Dude, don't bogart that summary judgment brief!
 

I see those kind of people, too, but I'm not sure if it's totally that they're stuck-up robots, and not just these kids thinking that, to some extent, you're The Man. Sure, there are the the ones who really have no life outside of memorizing the FRCP and are the kinds of law students, and now lawyers, who we all love to hate, but's that not all of them.

I think that there are enough of them just trying to give their superiors a good impression so that we don't catch on that they're depraved druggy drunk gamblers who can't wait to get off work so that they can go to a bar or a party and get laid, high and drunk. Like the rest of us. In my experience, I see people opening up more to mid-level associates once they realize that, at most firms, they really don't have very much power at all over hiring, firing or the future of the firm unless they become partner.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

Crochet hook.
Too bad my drug years are behind me.

This is really gross, but I'm a new woman
 

Maybe the objective is to hire only people who can lie their way through the process convincingly, on the theory that otherwise they'll have problems going undercover.