FUPA
 

My cousin Bruce tells me it only gets better as you’re broken in... Damn you, now I must rearrange my Nordic daydream. And I just can’t see a spindly pale Flower carrying you up that hill... Not that you’re fat. He’s just so... sickly?

FUPA
 

Spinning really does little to build the upper body.

Oooh ooh. Some men are sexually turned off watching their wives give birth. Surprise, fucking surprise. And, damn, I'm sure she's all excited to jump in the sack right then and there.

Waiting room, magazine and cigar. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

Why anyone would want to watch that is beyond me. A friend of mine saw his wife deliver by C Section. He said she asked how things were going and he looked at her guts, looked back at her, and smiled “Oh, excellent.”

I ain’t watching that shit. Who am I kidding? I'm shooting blanks.

I'm beginning to understand the origin of the pejorative meaning of the word "pussy."

How you gonna smoke it? That twerp you have running the city kicked all the smokers out of town.

FUPA
 

Or Las Vegas.

http://www.cbsnews.com/images/2003/1...mage576642.jpg
Saying you are not gay does not make you not gay.

You can appreciate how this can cut both ways in this context. I trust you mean the cigar chomping dinosaur.

Wow. You want us to be both there, supportive, and erect? Tough crowd.

I don't even want to watch it. I am very attracted to myself and I would hate to lose that spark.

Then why do people videotape it?

Since we're on the subject
 

In other gynecological news, scientists have now isolated and captured one of Thurgreed's Momma's crabs:

http://www.truthorfiction.com/images/tsunam7.jpg

Researchers believe this discovery could lead to breakthroughs in disease control, bioweaponry and general nasty stankness.

ETA: If you're insinuating that I'm a pussy for not wanting to see the gory mess that even the most uneventful delivery entails, all I can say is "meeee-ow."

California dreamin', or "God damn it, get me one that looks like that."
 

So much for Not Bob & Associates LLP opening that Bakersfield office. Recent California Supreme Court decision on sexual harassment. (male executive instructed his female subordinate to fire another subordinate and get him someone "hot" instead)

From the opinion:

• After the tour, Wiswall instructed Yanowitz to terminate the employment of a dark-skinned female sales associate because he did not find the woman to be sufficiently physically attractive. Wiswall expressed a preference for fair-skinned blondes and directed Yanowitz to “[g]et me somebody hot,” or words to that effect. On a return trip to the store, Wiswall discovered that the sales associate had not been dismissed. He reiterated to Yanowitz that he wanted the associate terminated and complained that Yanowitz had failed to do so. He passed “a young attractive blonde girl, very sexy,” on his way out, turned to Yanowitz, and told her, “God damn it, get me one that looks like that.”

2. I didn't even see the wife and kid till the next day. Gave the little lady time to get cleaned up and all. She had enough on her plate that day w/o having to worry about looking good for me.