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bold_n_brazen 06-21-2005 01:59 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
best: left handed catch of jello shot (orange), thrown from sunroof of moving car to back of moving Griff's party bus. Both vehicles moving approximately 30 miles an hour, no one hurt, jello shot consumed. Bonus: I was wearing handcuffs on that wrist at the time and didn't hit anyone or myself with them.

As entertaining as this story is, I have a feeling there's a whole lot you aren't telling us.

bold_n_brazen 06-21-2005 02:01 PM

Asinine lists
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
So Energy Spatula over at Will Work for Favorable Dicta reports on a ridiculous article over at MSN on "Ten Things Every Single Girl Must Own

1. A fabulous photo of yourself
2. A pretty pair of heels
3. An Eminem CD
4. A great pickup line…and a way to blow 'em off
5. A six-pack of good bottled beer
6. Bathroom reading
7. A business card
8. Earplugs
9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial
10. A condom

According to Energy Spatula, these are all mantrapping items. "They suggest that you use the awesome picture of yourself to send to people you meet online so they'll think you're hot, and hang it on the fridge at eye-level so any guy you bring home will look at it and think you're hot too." Their beer suggestion is Sam Adams. The ear plugs are just in case he snores. The reading material isn't for the ladies.

I had no idea Eminem was the Trinity Sessions of the male population.

Fuck, I snore. And where the fuck are the vibrators on this list? One condom? Jesus, let's not get too optimistic.
That list bites.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 06-21-2005 02:02 PM

Asinine lists
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
And where the fuck are the vibrators on this list?
How do you mantrap with one of those? Unless it's new-in-box, discovering it under the bed might not be a turn-on.

BTW, that site is a goldmine for some other board denizens:

Is 40 the new 20? (hi NFH).

greatwhitenorthchick 06-21-2005 02:05 PM

Asinine lists
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
So Energy Spatula over at Will Work for Favorable Dicta reports on a ridiculous article over at MSN on "Ten Things Every Single Girl Must Own

1. A fabulous photo of yourself
2. A pretty pair of heels
3. An Eminem CD
4. A great pickup line…and a way to blow 'em off
5. A six-pack of good bottled beer
6. Bathroom reading
7. A business card
8. Earplugs
9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial
10. A condom

According to Energy Spatula, these are all mantrapping items. "They suggest that you use the awesome picture of yourself to send to people you meet online so they'll think you're hot, and hang it on the fridge at eye-level so any guy you bring home will look at it and think you're hot too." Their beer suggestion is Sam Adams. The ear plugs are just in case he snores. The reading material isn't for the ladies.

I had no idea Eminem was the Trinity Sessions of the male population.

Fuck, I snore. And where the fuck are the vibrators on this list? One condom? Jesus, let's not get too optimistic.
I keep sex toy catalogs in the bathroom for reading material. It's funny how much time some of my friends spend in there sometimes.

Oh, and before I forget, I saw Helen Gurley Brown yesterday in some hideous all-sequin outfit. She has the spindliest legs ever. And a humungous head. Odd-looking woman.

ABBAKiss 06-21-2005 02:05 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
As entertaining as this story is, I have a feeling there's a while lot you aren't telling us.
Yes -- do tell. I have a feeling RT would be a really fun time.

greatwhitenorthchick 06-21-2005 02:07 PM

Asinine lists
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)


BTW, that site is a goldmine for some other board denizens:

Is 40 the new 20? (hi NFH).
The writing in that article is excellent:

"A woman don’t need to rush into pregnancy for fear of becoming too old, rendering her infertile."

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) 06-21-2005 02:12 PM

Asinine lists
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
The writing in that article is excellent:

"A woman don’t need to rush into pregnancy for fear of becoming too old, rendering her infertile."
Is Chinese the new English?

"You’re living in the millennium now"

paigowprincess 06-21-2005 02:13 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Well, no but he may have figured it out on his own...my white skirt was pretty see through. We got a late start and I could only get so much accomplished in the time I had....but it was impressive for me.

On another note, lunchbox collector's friends have taken to sending me the "I'm going to miss you...heard at the party" messages...do you think they're trying to go for sloppy seconds?
I think you are whiffing here.

paigowprincess 06-21-2005 02:17 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I just thought she had extra beefy roast beef.

Getting some mileage out of that one.
She said "sloppy seconds" not "sloppy joe". What are sloppy seconds again? I never heard that term. What is the derivation?

ABBAKiss 06-21-2005 02:19 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I think you are whiffing here.
Since you reposted sunny's post I have to ask -- did you wear the see-through white skirt without underpants to work? Are you [sunny bunny] a total slut? Was this a pleated skirt? Straight skirt? Short skirt? Long skirt?

Just a few random comments: I am not commando today. I am disturbed by PLF's sudden use of lots of semen related imagery. I am really glad I turned ncs into a gay. I would like a nooner and/or afternoon delight today but I won't get one.

paigowprincess 06-21-2005 02:19 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Acceptable ways of saying "Whiff":

1. Whiff!
2. You, sir, are the Mayor of Whiffville.
3. I'm sorry, that's incorrect. But we have some lovely parting whiffs for you.
4. I think when you posted, you failed to realize that the poster to whom you replied was not being serious or literal about the substantive content of his or her post, and by treating the post seriously, you have made yourself to appear the fool.
5. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed whiffer is King.
6. This whiff sent such a shiver of ecstacy though my testicles, that the merest whisper will send my love anaconda into a violent explosion of semen, ejaculatory fluid, semi-coagulated blood, and sexually transmitted disease-related puss.
Pussy without the "y" is just puss.

Not Bob 06-21-2005 02:21 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Pussy without the "y" is just puss.
Apropos of nothing, I really like this one:

(from Flower's list): I think when you posted, you failed to realize that the poster to whom you replied was not being serious or literal about the substantive content of his or her post, and by treating the post seriously, you have made yourself to appear the fool.

paigowprincess 06-21-2005 02:21 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Well, not like your first dates, but you're a pro and I'm an ammy...there's a different scoring system here.
Don't worry, dear. Your dirty thirties are thisclose. Soon you will be a whore like gwnc and won't have to use the Basic Instinct White Skirt imagery.

paigowprincess 06-21-2005 02:24 PM

On a somewhat related note, what do I do with my hearts?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Keep one and give the rest back to him. Or to his family.
I say hand them out to his friends as lovely parting gifts for the sloppy seconds.

robustpuppy 06-21-2005 02:24 PM

Chainsaws
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
She said "sloppy seconds" not "sloppy joe". What are sloppy seconds again? I never heard that term. What is the derivation?
Sloppy Joes are made with ground up beef. Ick.

When is someone going to explain explicitly to Sunny that "sloppy seconds" in this scenario refers to her?


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