LawTalkers - [hi less!!!]Where Everyone Knows Penske's Socks Don't Suck[/hi less!!!]!!!

"Shawn Kemp is standing next to his car, a Dodge Magnum RT with Oregon plates and 24-inch chrome rims and windows tinted black. He's strapping 25-pound weights on each ankle. Dressed head-to-toe in swooshes — Jordan socks, Nike Shox and red and white shorts — he shoves two American flags into the ground at George Bush Park.

His hill awaits. But why the flags?

"This is the American dream,'' Kemp says."

Jesus Christ. Too bad the reporter neglected to note "Eye of the Tiger" playing on Kemp's jewel-encrusted iPod.

I may need to get arrested to spur my comeback. I wonder if hookers are illegal in Shoreline?

ThurgreedMarshall

07-26-2005 05:33 PM

Question

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Yes, that's clear now, Sir Thurgreed of Noscrollthenpostland.

But I will say this - if presented with a totally hot guy and a guy with a penis for a nose and braids and good weed, I would take the nose-penis guy 99 times out of 100. And that is because hot guys are usually not as much fun, they don't care about pleasing you, and they are generally vain. And I can be good-looking enough for both of us.

What about the other 1% of the time? What's different?

TM

ThurgreedMarshall

07-26-2005 05:34 PM

Look out!

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Shawn Kemp is making a come-back

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABP...2002397178.jpg

What you can't see in that photo are the 500 women chasing his ass for child-support payments.

TM

greatwhitenorthchick

07-26-2005 05:34 PM

Question

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
What about the other 1% of the time? What's different?

TM

Variety. And sometimes you need arm candy.

robustpuppy

07-26-2005 05:34 PM

Help

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't fuck around with OTC painkillers and such. That shit's bad for you. If it isn't going to get me high, why the fuck take it?** I haven't touched antibiotics since the 80s. I figure I'm training my immune system to be stronger, which I will need someday.*

Yes, I know. See: My policy re: inconsistency.

* Who am I kidding? I'll get hit by a bus not paying attention to traffic signals leaving a bar, listening to my Ipod.

** Except the occasional cigarette, which I just like.

I can see the antibiotics point, but I don't understand foregoing painkillers for the sake of it. Life without Advil in particular would be hell. If I could take Sudafed, I would, because sinus congestion sucks. Unfortunately, pseudophedrine makes my heart race, and not (in a [good] way).

And percocet is the only thing that makes it possible to face the prospect of oral surgery.

sebastian_dangerfield

07-26-2005 05:35 PM

Question

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
You don't think Owen has access to good weed? Huh.

No shit. Did he play hockey? He's got one fucked up nose.

futbol fan

07-26-2005 05:35 PM

Question

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Yes. I'm still reeling.

It's because Rumplepoop used the magic dingus to floosify the evil waddlesnoober, right? If it's any consolation I don't think any of us saw that coming.

ETA: Omigod!!! spoiler space!!!

robustpuppy

07-26-2005 05:37 PM

Question

Quote:

Originally posted by ironweed
It's because Rumplepoop used the magic dingus to floosify the evil waddlesnoober, right? If it's any consolation I don't think any of us saw that coming.

ETA: Omigod!!! spoiler space!!!

I really, really wish laughing worked on my ears. And that it didn't make me have to pee.

sebastian_dangerfield

07-26-2005 05:37 PM

Help

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I can see the antibiotics point, but I don't understand foregoing painkillers for the sake of it. Life without Advil in particular would be hell. If I could take Sudafed, I would, because sinus congestion sucks. Unfortunately, pseudophedrine makes my heart race, and not (in a [good] way).

I don't need painkillers. Don't know why. Things never hurt that much.

I think I'm used to sinus congestion. I have very tempermental sinuses. Over time, like every other annoyance in life, I found I just got used to the sinus issues.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

07-26-2005 05:44 PM

Look out!

Quote:

Originally posted by Gattigap
He's strapping 25-pound weights on each ankle.

Oh, this is fucking brilliant. Jesus, weren't ankle weights considered really bad for you even before they outlawed jarts?

Not Bob

07-26-2005 05:45 PM

Help

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't need painkillers. Don't know why. Things never hurt that much.

So, no epidural, eh?

ltl/fb

07-26-2005 05:45 PM

Help

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I don't need painkillers. Don't know why. Things never hurt that much.

I think I'm used to sinus congestion. I have very tempermental sinuses. Over time, like every other annoyance in life, I found I just got used to the sinus issues.

I think I have found the root cause of your chronic dissatisfaction with life. Like, we had this little dog who was really hostile and mean for years and years. Snapped at people who touched her. All that crap. Then, the vet decided she had allergies and we started giving her allergy medicine -- and she was way, way nicer. Because if you are constantly in pain and/or having trouble breathing, you are already pretty pissed off as a baseline, and it doesn't take much to push you over the edge into growling and snapping. Or, uh, ranting.

futbol fan

07-26-2005 05:49 PM

Help

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I think I have found the root cause of your chronic dissatisfaction with life. Like, we had this little dog who was really hostile and mean for years and years. Snapped at people who touched her. All that crap. Then, the vet decided she had allergies and we started giving her allergy medicine -- and she was way, way nicer. Because if you are constantly in pain and/or having trouble breathing, you are already pretty pissed off as a baseline, and it doesn't take much to push you over the edge into growling and snapping. Or, uh, ranting.

When did your prescription run out?

sebastian_dangerfield

07-26-2005 05:50 PM

Help

Quote:

Hmmmm. Plausible...

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