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Shape Shifter 03-08-2005 05:24 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I'm noticing a trend in the originator of both threads.

I'm not hungover anymore, but I've got nothing of interest to contribute. Not even a cautionary tale at my own expense.
I was glad to provide my government an interest free loan this year. I look all around me and around the world with democracy flowering in such places as Bolivia and I can really see the difference that interest free loan of around $300 has made. All Patriotic Americans should do the same.

ltl/fb 03-08-2005 05:24 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Fringe, its bad enough that you guys fuck up PB every week or so with this tax crap. Would you please not join in so maybe it'll die?
Hanky Panky, isn't it worth it to you to see me and wanker in such beautiful accord?

Sunny's Snot Rocket 03-08-2005 05:28 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sunnybunny
WHAT!!!! I HAD LIKE TWO NETI POSTS. IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT SPAWNED A WHOLE LOTTA SOCKS.

On another note...my first boyfriend's parents were both IRS auditors. I wonder if their phone number is still the same...do you think they'd give me a kickback for reporting you tax evaders? DO you think they'll take me seriously when I say "sebastian dangerfield" cheated on his taxes?
Yay!

http://www.yatan-ayur.com.au/neti_green.jpg

sebastian_dangerfield 03-08-2005 05:29 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
from what I know about you, I would never have expected to see "phantom income" in one of your posts. Plus, that's just a little too clever.

Sigh.
No its not. Its just some crap I litigated a few years back. That I know a term doesn't make me clever. A monkee could've just as easily picked the term out of google.

I litigate tons of crap and forget most of it after the case is through. Let the specialists remember that shit.

bilmore 03-08-2005 05:30 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
Trust fund stuff is a wole different kettle of fish. If you ever get in employment tax trouble, you be really screwed.
It takes about five years of clean living to be free of their miserable, hateful, covetous glances.

Or so I've heard.

robustpuppy 03-08-2005 05:31 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
No its not. Its just some crap I litigated a few years back. That I know a term doesn't make me clever. A monkee could've just as easily picked the term out of google.

Lingo is never clever.
I did not mean clever as a compliment in this case; my very point was that using the lingo to make the little joke about your feelings about blow jobs was just a little too cute to fit your distinct internet persona.

And don't misunderestimate monkees.

paigowprincess 03-08-2005 05:34 PM

THIS IS KINDA GROSS BUT I AM A NEW WOMAN
 
I found the most useful advice on the Internet and I had to share. I sleep better at night and the bags under my eyes are gone! Enjoy!

Showering your body is something most of us do everyday but have you ever wondered if you are doing it correctly? There are effective ways of keeping your personal hygiene at its peak. Good personal hygiene is not only important to avoid having offensive odors but it can also affect your overall health and everyday comfort. The following routine is designed to help keep your body clean, fresh smelling, and feeling great...

What You Will Need:

Hair Shampoo

Hair Conditioner (optional)

Shampoo brush (optional)

Facial Cleanser

Body Cleanser/Soap

Washcloth

Bath towel

Exfoliating scrub (optional)

Baby Powder Cornstarch

Cotton swabs

Moisturizer (Facial/Eye) (optional)

Moisturizer (Body) (optional)

Antifungal ointment/spray/powder (optional)

Getting Started:
Adjust the shower of water to a comfortable temperature. Warm water is most effective in cleaning the body but a cool shower can be invigorating on a hot day. Using shower sandals is recommended if multiple persons are using the same shower. This may help prevent the spread of athlete’s foot fungus.

STEP 1: (Get Wet)
Rinse your body well. Make sure your entire body is wet. Soap works best in the presence of plenty of water so make sure you wet your entire body thoroughly.

STEP 2: (Pre-Wash)
This is the most important part of the cleansing process. It is specifically targeted at the areas of the body that collect the most dirt, bacteria, odor, etc.

Here are the "Critical" target areas:

Underarm area
Groin/crotch area
Anal/buttocks region
Feet
Using the body/cleanser soap, generously lather and thoroughly wash these critical areas in the specific order listed above. Use your hands to carefully cleanse these areas completely. Remember, start with the underarm area then the groin/crotch area followed by the anal/buttocks area then finally the feet. When washing the feet be sure to wash in between each toe and the sole of each foot. Rinse all areas thoroughly. Wash and rinse your hands thoroughly.
STEP 3: (Hair/Scalp Cleansing)
Apply shampoo to wet hair and massage in with your fingertips. On occasion you may use a shampoo brush. A shampoo brush can be especially useful for cleaning the scalp and removing dry or flaky skin.
Use vigorous back and forth strokes to not only massage the shampoo in thoroughly to the scalp but to also stimulate/increase blood flow to the scalp. Repeat this process if desired. (Repeat a second time if you use hairspray or hair gel often. These products tend to clog pores in the scalp causing the hair to become weak and thin). Using an anti-residue or residue-reducing shampoo formula at least once per week is recommended to clean your scalp and remove deposits that will clog pores. Rinse thoroughly. Hair conditioners may be used after shampooing to add moisture and manageability to dry or damaged hair.

STEP 4: (Facial Cleansing)
Use a good quality facial cleanser. This differs from body cleanser/soap in that it is more mild for the sensitive facial skin and will not dry out or irritate your skin. The best are soap-free, hypoallergenic, and specifically formulated not to clog pores. Some good choices are; Purpose Gentle Cleansing Wash by Johnson & Johnson, Basis, or any gentle facial cleanser.
Wet your hands and face. Lather the soap in your clean hands and apply to your face, ears, and neck gently. Use gentle circular upward strokes for best results. Be sure to clean inside and behind the ears, openings of the nostrils and from the forehead hairline down to the collarbone and around to the back of the neck. Be careful to avoid getting soap in your eyes. Rinse thoroughly.

STEP 5: (Body Cleansing)
In this step you may use a washcloth or simply use your hands. Using a washcloth may offer better results. Soap will lather better and the cloth is slightly more abrasive than your hands thus it will remove more dead skin than your bare hands. Lather your body starting from just below the neck and work your way down. Make sure not to miss any areas. Especially any small crevices. In this step you will also be cleansing the areas described in "Step 2: (Pre-Wash)" for a second time. This is when you will get the best cleansing affect on those specific areas that tend to get the dirtiest. Once you are sure every part of your body has been carefully cleansed you are ready to move to "Step 6".

STEP 6: (Final Rinse)
It is very important to be sure to rinse all of the soap off your body, especially the crevices. Leaving soap residue on your body can cause skin irritation and even infection. Be sure to rinse all soap residue from your ear canal by gently letting warm water enter your ear canal. Do this by tipping your head to let the water gently run down into the ear and then tip your head the opposite direction to let the water run out. You may need to repeat this process 2-4 times to make sure no soap remains in the ear canal. Allowing soap to remain in the ear canal can lead to ear infection.
When rinsing the body, start from the top of your head and work your way down to your feet. Areas that require some extra attention while rinsing are;

Ears
Underarms
Groin/crotch area
Anal region
Feet, between the toes and the bottom of the feet (soles)
Once you are certain there is no residual soap on your body, turn off the water and let the body drip for a moment before beginning to towel dry. When towel drying start from the top of your head and work your way down drying your feet last. Be sure to dry the entire body thoroughly by patting a dry bath towel on all surfaces of the body especially the underarms, crotch area, anal regional, and feet (especially between the toes). Failing to thoroughly dry specific areas (critical areas) may result in the growth of fungus. Fungus, such as Tineas pedius (Athlete's Foot) and tineas cruris (Jock Itch), thrive in moist, warm areas that are not exposed to much light (once again the critical areas). So be sure to dry these areas thoroughly.

STEP 7: (Post Shower)

Apply baby powder cornstarch after each shower to absorb excess wetness from the skin. This will help keep your skin soft, dry, comfortable and smelling fresh for many hours. We recommend using Johnson's baby powder pure cornstarch.

Use a cotton swab to gently dry the outer most ear canal area. Be careful not to place the cotton swab too far into the ear canal.

Moisturizers should be used. Especially around the eyes, face, hands, elbows, feet, knees, and anywhere on the body you may experience dryness. Moisturizers work especially well when applied after a warm shower. Your skin's pores are usually open after a warm shower and applying a good quality moisturizer will lock the shower's moisture in keeping your skin soft and youthful looking.

Brush, floss, scrape your tongue, and gargle to keep your oral hygiene at its peak.

Apply an underarm deodorant. We do not recommend the use of an anti-perspirant. If you must use one limit it to no more than a few times a week. These products contain chemicals such as aluminum which prevent your underarm area from perspiring. Perspiration is a natural bodily function that should not be altered.

Weekly Steps:

Use of an exfoliating scrub is an excellent weekly or bi-weekly treatment to remove dead, scaly skin and expose bright, fresh, healthy, soft skin. Exfoliating should be performed while showering between Steps 2 & 3 above. Use your bare hands when exfoliating your face and neck. You may use a washcloth to exfoliate your body. We recommend using St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub for both your face and body.

Weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly use of an antifungal is recommended to proactively help prevent the growth of Athlete's Foot fungus and Jock Itch. Men should apply the antifungal to the crotch and anal areas to help prevent jock itch from occurring. Men and women should apply the antifungal between the toes and to the soles of the feet to help prevent Athlete's Foot. Recommended products are: Lotrimin AF, Lamisil, Tinactin, etc.

Try this routine a few times and you'll see how easy it is. You will feel and look invigorated.

sebastian_dangerfield 03-08-2005 05:34 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I did not mean clever as a compliment in this case; my very point was that using the lingo to make the little joke about your feelings about blow jobs was just a little too cute to fit your distinct internet persona.

And don't misunderestimate monkees.
Sorry. I exploded for no reason. I had a conference this morning where a bunch of people were using "industry terms" but nobody was getting to the point of what had to be done. they just kept pitched words back and forth to sound like they knew what was going on. Fucking middle managers. I wanted to stand up and say "Can we make a fucking decision? How about we start by firing all of you worthless slabs of plasma."

I. Hate. People. Who. Refuse. To. Make. Decisions. And. Like. Holding. Meetings.

robustpuppy 03-08-2005 05:37 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Sorry. I exploded for no reason.
Really. Try to keep that temper under control, man. You scared me.

sebastian_dangerfield 03-08-2005 05:37 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk

One thing that works in everybody's favor is the end of an old program called the Taxpayer Compliance Study. Under that program, phased out in the early 90's, the IRS regularly pulled several hundred returns a year at random, and called the taxpayers in to audit their returns line by line, just to figure out where everybody was fudging it. God help the bastard who got called in on one of those.
I thought they still did the random thing.

ltl/fb 03-08-2005 05:39 PM

THIS IS KINDA GROSS BUT I AM A NEW WOMAN
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
[good hygiene]
Spend some time with dirty gross foreigners and you might start carrying handouts with those instructions, baby girl.

notcasesensitive 03-08-2005 05:40 PM

THIS IS KINDA GROSS BUT I AM A NEW WOMAN
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I found the most useful advice on the Internet and I had to share. I sleep better at night and the bags under my eyes are gone! Enjoy!

Showering your body is something most of us do everyday but have you ever wondered if you are doing it correctly? There are effective ways of keeping your personal hygiene at its peak. Good personal hygiene is not only important to avoid having offensive odors but it can also affect your overall health and everyday comfort. The following routine is designed to help keep your body clean, fresh smelling, and feeling great...

What You Will Need:

Hair Shampoo

Hair Conditioner (optional)

Shampoo brush (optional)

Facial Cleanser

Body Cleanser/Soap

Washcloth

Bath towel

Exfoliating scrub (optional)

Baby Powder Cornstarch

Cotton swabs

Moisturizer (Facial/Eye) (optional)

Moisturizer (Body) (optional)

Antifungal ointment/spray/powder (optional)

Getting Started:
Adjust the shower of water to a comfortable temperature. Warm water is most effective in cleaning the body but a cool shower can be invigorating on a hot day. Using shower sandals is recommended if multiple persons are using the same shower. This may help prevent the spread of athlete’s foot fungus.

STEP 1: (Get Wet)
Rinse your body well. Make sure your entire body is wet. Soap works best in the presence of plenty of water so make sure you wet your entire body thoroughly.

STEP 2: (Pre-Wash)
This is the most important part of the cleansing process. It is specifically targeted at the areas of the body that collect the most dirt, bacteria, odor, etc.

Here are the "Critical" target areas:

Underarm area
Groin/crotch area
Anal/buttocks region
Feet
Using the body/cleanser soap, generously lather and thoroughly wash these critical areas in the specific order listed above. Use your hands to carefully cleanse these areas completely. Remember, start with the underarm area then the groin/crotch area followed by the anal/buttocks area then finally the feet. When washing the feet be sure to wash in between each toe and the sole of each foot. Rinse all areas thoroughly. Wash and rinse your hands thoroughly.
STEP 3: (Hair/Scalp Cleansing)
Apply shampoo to wet hair and massage in with your fingertips. On occasion you may use a shampoo brush. A shampoo brush can be especially useful for cleaning the scalp and removing dry or flaky skin.
Use vigorous back and forth strokes to not only massage the shampoo in thoroughly to the scalp but to also stimulate/increase blood flow to the scalp. Repeat this process if desired. (Repeat a second time if you use hairspray or hair gel often. These products tend to clog pores in the scalp causing the hair to become weak and thin). Using an anti-residue or residue-reducing shampoo formula at least once per week is recommended to clean your scalp and remove deposits that will clog pores. Rinse thoroughly. Hair conditioners may be used after shampooing to add moisture and manageability to dry or damaged hair.

STEP 4: (Facial Cleansing)
Use a good quality facial cleanser. This differs from body cleanser/soap in that it is more mild for the sensitive facial skin and will not dry out or irritate your skin. The best are soap-free, hypoallergenic, and specifically formulated not to clog pores. Some good choices are; Purpose Gentle Cleansing Wash by Johnson & Johnson, Basis, or any gentle facial cleanser.
Wet your hands and face. Lather the soap in your clean hands and apply to your face, ears, and neck gently. Use gentle circular upward strokes for best results. Be sure to clean inside and behind the ears, openings of the nostrils and from the forehead hairline down to the collarbone and around to the back of the neck. Be careful to avoid getting soap in your eyes. Rinse thoroughly.

STEP 5: (Body Cleansing)
In this step you may use a washcloth or simply use your hands. Using a washcloth may offer better results. Soap will lather better and the cloth is slightly more abrasive than your hands thus it will remove more dead skin than your bare hands. Lather your body starting from just below the neck and work your way down. Make sure not to miss any areas. Especially any small crevices. In this step you will also be cleansing the areas described in "Step 2: (Pre-Wash)" for a second time. This is when you will get the best cleansing affect on those specific areas that tend to get the dirtiest. Once you are sure every part of your body has been carefully cleansed you are ready to move to "Step 6".

STEP 6: (Final Rinse)
It is very important to be sure to rinse all of the soap off your body, especially the crevices. Leaving soap residue on your body can cause skin irritation and even infection. Be sure to rinse all soap residue from your ear canal by gently letting warm water enter your ear canal. Do this by tipping your head to let the water gently run down into the ear and then tip your head the opposite direction to let the water run out. You may need to repeat this process 2-4 times to make sure no soap remains in the ear canal. Allowing soap to remain in the ear canal can lead to ear infection.
When rinsing the body, start from the top of your head and work your way down to your feet. Areas that require some extra attention while rinsing are;

Ears
Underarms
Groin/crotch area
Anal region
Feet, between the toes and the bottom of the feet (soles)
Once you are certain there is no residual soap on your body, turn off the water and let the body drip for a moment before beginning to towel dry. When towel drying start from the top of your head and work your way down drying your feet last. Be sure to dry the entire body thoroughly by patting a dry bath towel on all surfaces of the body especially the underarms, crotch area, anal regional, and feet (especially between the toes). Failing to thoroughly dry specific areas (critical areas) may result in the growth of fungus. Fungus, such as Tineas pedius (Athlete's Foot) and tineas cruris (Jock Itch), thrive in moist, warm areas that are not exposed to much light (once again the critical areas). So be sure to dry these areas thoroughly.

STEP 7: (Post Shower)

Apply baby powder cornstarch after each shower to absorb excess wetness from the skin. This will help keep your skin soft, dry, comfortable and smelling fresh for many hours. We recommend using Johnson's baby powder pure cornstarch.

Use a cotton swab to gently dry the outer most ear canal area. Be careful not to place the cotton swab too far into the ear canal.

Moisturizers should be used. Especially around the eyes, face, hands, elbows, feet, knees, and anywhere on the body you may experience dryness. Moisturizers work especially well when applied after a warm shower. Your skin's pores are usually open after a warm shower and applying a good quality moisturizer will lock the shower's moisture in keeping your skin soft and youthful looking.

Brush, floss, scrape your tongue, and gargle to keep your oral hygiene at its peak.

Apply an underarm deodorant. We do not recommend the use of an anti-perspirant. If you must use one limit it to no more than a few times a week. These products contain chemicals such as aluminum which prevent your underarm area from perspiring. Perspiration is a natural bodily function that should not be altered.

Weekly Steps:

Use of an exfoliating scrub is an excellent weekly or bi-weekly treatment to remove dead, scaly skin and expose bright, fresh, healthy, soft skin. Exfoliating should be performed while showering between Steps 2 & 3 above. Use your bare hands when exfoliating your face and neck. You may use a washcloth to exfoliate your body. We recommend using St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub for both your face and body.

Weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly use of an antifungal is recommended to proactively help prevent the growth of Athlete's Foot fungus and Jock Itch. Men should apply the antifungal to the crotch and anal areas to help prevent jock itch from occurring. Men and women should apply the antifungal between the toes and to the soles of the feet to help prevent Athlete's Foot. Recommended products are: Lotrimin AF, Lamisil, Tinactin, etc.

Try this routine a few times and you'll see how easy it is. You will feel and look invigorated.
How am I supposed to tell you and mmmmmm apart now?

bilmore 03-08-2005 05:41 PM

THIS IS KINDA GROSS BUT I AM A NEW WOMAN
 
Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
How am I supposed to tell you and mmmmmm apart now?
Just from a quick read, I'd say her anal region will be much cleaner.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 03-08-2005 05:41 PM

I KNOW, TAKE IT TO THE TAX REFUND BOARD
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Sorry. I exploded for no reason.
This happens to me all of the time. But that's b/c I'm only 14 and there is only so much dry humping I can take.

ltl/fb 03-08-2005 05:43 PM

THIS IS KINDA GROSS BUT I AM A NEW WOMAN
 
Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
Just from a quick read, I'd say her anal region will be much cleaner.
MR's got a thing on the side with paigow and mmmmmm? Hot.


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