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- - Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=701)

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by spookyfish
Okay. So this coming weekend, I may or may not be involved in certain traditional festivities involving a friend of mine from law school, which may or may not involve me getting up in front of a group of people who may or may not be drunk and speaking about/giving best wishes to said friend and said friend's significant other. Did I mention that the group of people of whom I am speaking may or may not be friends or relatives of my friend and said friend's significant other. Did I also mention that I don't actually know many of these people beside said friend and said friend's significant other?

I am a little rusty in terms of what makes a good speech/best wishes message for such an event, and I'm interested in hearing any suggestions about how this might be as meaningful/painless for everybody as possible.

Did I also mention that I may or may not be drunk by then and I am trying to avoid any catastrophes of Costanzian proportions?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Short and sweet. There is nothing wrong with confining your best wishes to: "To the bride and groom."

If you really feel you need something more, say something like:

"All of your friends and family here today are so pleased you found each other and make each other so happy, and we're glad we could celebrate with you - To the bride and groom."

Anything longer or more involved than that will just risk embarassment and piss off people who have to stand there grinning & not drinking while you drone on.

Of course, when really wasted, I sometimes resort to Latin:

Gaudeamus igitur! (let us rejoyce - I love how concise Latin is)

or Klingon:

'IwlIj jachjaj (may your blood scream - sort of EEW-leeg jotch-JAJ)

or

reH nay'meylIjyIn Dujablu'jaj (may your meals always be served alive - good for dinners - sort of pronounced "Rech NIGH-uh-male-EEG-yin du-JAH-blue-uh-JAJ", the "uh"s are supposed to be golattal stops)

YMMV on how amusing anyone thinks that is.

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Why hold back? Why not give them a taste of the actual future with Coltrane?

I'm not the groom.

My future ILs already know what's in store for them. Luckily, Sequels' sister's husband is such a douchebag that I can do no wrong. It's like having an older sibling who was so awful that he/she paved the way for you to be the golden child. That happened to me, too.

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
He's Past Sebby. I'm present Sebby. Past Sebby has never made any mention of his like or dislike of oral.

Do the hangovers get any worse?

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Why? Is it a fatty wedding?

TM

No. The parents have a goat farm.

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Why? Is it a fatty wedding?

TM

No, they're fucking Irish and Italian Catholics.

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
YMMV on how amusing anyone thinks that is.

I doubt it.

TM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Do the hangovers get any worse?

They vanish. You strat knocking back a few beers and half a bottle of Ketel One every weekend and holiday night and you can hit the gym and run and workout for about an hour the next day before noon.

And you're not going to get lung problems from the smoke.

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
No, they're fucking Irish and Italian Catholics.

Oh, then for sure bring up the time when you were an altar boy and you and father O'Reilly went on that outing.

How do I get a gmail account to use for http://www.google.com/talk/

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
No, they're fucking Irish and Italian Catholics.

Exclusively?

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
How do I get a gmail account to use for http://www.google.com/talk/

I would send you an invite but we are on break.

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- A 16-year-old actress who starred in the 2004 film "Sleepover" and appeared in the television show "Gilmore Girls" has vanished and is considered a runaway, police said Wednesday.

Scout Taylor-Compton was last seen on August 12 at her home in the Southern California community of Apple Valley and was reported missing by her mother, San Bernardino County Sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers said.

http://eur.yimg.com/i/xp/premier_photo/4/4e2991df2a.jpg

Odd, why would an actress run away? Couldn't you just move out? Who names their kid scout?

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Dammit.

I'm here for you, babe. Remember, I got str8 and rp mixed up, after str8 started using the baby avatar. It happens.

Advice requested.

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I doubt it.

TM

Works pretty well in my crowd, but, as I said ....

I get pissed off when pressed to speak improptu, so I'm fond of doing it in odd tongues. But, if preparing a toast in advance, I'd stick to something roughly the length of my original suggestions. Long toasts suck ass. And save the funny personal stories for entertaining drunks around the bar.

BR(I forgot QaplaH! - success. It was adopted by the South Park guys for use by their douchebags, so it's almost sort of widespread, I guess.)C

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Confidential to fringey:

Pssst. That was coltrane, sweetie, not sebby.

I thought they were now officially the same person.