Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Coffins. Duh.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Hm. Good point. Euthanasia.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

You can just smother yourself with your own hideous breast implants.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

It's actually a great way to get out of the house, think about whatever you want or listen to music.

It's work that's sweatin' me. Who has the key to these bronze handcuffs?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Jags

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Saw this on a pop-up dating service ad. What is Her body language saying?

http://www.plentyoffish.com/dating/1...ing_883543.jpg

She's from windsor.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

One in the pink, none in the stink?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Too true. No car says "impotent" or "drier than beef jerky" better than a Jag.

The mid sized one is also hardcore NoJersey.

Base Running
 

I forgot what we decided the bases are......someone enlighten me please?

First Base = Kissing
Second Base = Hands Over Clothes
Third Base = Hands Under Clothes
Homerun = Deposition
Grand Slam = FFM

Is this correct? Very important that I get responses quickly.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Am I the only one who thinks that the Jags now just look like Ford Taureses? Why on earth would anyone drive one of those things?

Base Running
 

It seems that oral sex is missing from the line up. Third base?

Base Running
 

I always thought second base was touching the boobies and third base was touching the other fun stuff...

Base Running
 

No

FIrst base is kissing
Second base is up the shirt
Third base is down the pants
Home run is deposition
I didn't know grandslam was a category.

Whats the rush? You teaching a sixth grade health class this afternoon?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

There was a movie years ago about an advertising exec who got sent to a mental institution after he pitched an idea about injecting honesty into advertising. For example, his slogan for Volvo was "They're boxy, but they're good." The slogan for Jags was "For the man who wants to get handjobs from women he hardly knows."

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Thank you, RT. Now I need to remember all the great things I wanted to say today. Eh. I got nothing. So instead I give you this:

1. Bryson: I enjoyed listening to A Short History of Nearly Everything (or whatever it is called) on the car ride from Dallas to LA. Maybe he is more sufferable (or less insufferable) on tape than he is in print. Or maybe fringey and I are just an easy crowd (wait, don't answer that).

2. Implants: I thought Paigow was pro-Pam Anderson (maybe I misremember). If so, how does she reconcile her general disdain for the implants? If you're gonna do it, make it worthwhile, or what? This has probably been addressed before, but I can't recall.

3. Exercise: I wish I were an addict. I've been trying to figure out how to force myself into an exercise, because right now it is sooo painful to me. I've been getting up early and attending boot camp for 6 weeks now and it is simply awful. Maybe if I had the free time to get really into hiking or something it would be not bad, but exercise for the sake of exercise really blows.