bongorama
 

Speaking of Philly - Tommy Chong was on Leno the other night - and surprise appearance by Cheech. It was great. Tommy spent 9 months in prison for shipping a bong to Philly? He said when the DEA came to the house at 5 in the morning with flashlights - he said "if you're looking for the lightswitch, it's over there, man." He also said that only 2 states prosecute for shipping a bong over state lines and that Philly was one of them. He had shipped the bong to a DEA run head shop (don't go shopping there).
Leno said that only in America can you get 9 months for shipping a bong and no time for killing your wife.

And my family wonders why I am so fucked up. Not Nick alone sent me to the ER for stiches on my head at least five times that I can think of as I type this -- the baseball bat "accident" during Little League practice; the shove into the electric slot-car track after I had the audacity to beat him in a race; the shove down the stairs when I broke his red Rock'em Sock'em robot (ok, he gets mitigating factors on that one); the fall from the tree he told me to me to climb in a neighborhood game of hide and seek; and, of course, the infamous "attempted swirly" incident.

RT, call your brother and apologize. He'll appreciate it -- even if he doesn't believe it.

What's not to get? I don't speak in code and movie references like some people. And why are we back on me again? And isn't it bad enough that you've taken the sight of one of the hive? Are you trying to destroy the collective?

I have returned from the dock whore and my voice recognition program is supposedly working lust mine. The dock whore insures me that my eyes will heel in a cup hold of weeks cents the sharp needle I stuck threw my eye pierced the cornea but did not damage any of the rods and cones on the beck of my I. Apparently, the cornea is the fastest healing port on the human bod he.

I bet you learned this from the rude fats.

bongorama
 

How stoned is he that he thinks Philly is State?

bongorama
 

OK, he shipped to bong to Philly, Penn has the policy. I'm stoned OK? Plus he said he had drugs in the house but the DEA couldn't find it and didn't really bother to look. Odd.

I totally LOVE how the fake voice recognition program changed "doctor" into "dock whore"!!! Imagine if that happened in real life on a document you had to send to somebody important, like a brief about a medical practice issue. LOL!

Hanky Skirt
 

Thanks so much for sharing. No, really.

Oh. After I read the first sentence, I thought you were talking about "twosies" (a.k.a. poo) -- or as mr.dtb likes to refer to it, Akin Gump (because it sounds like "Takin' Dump" -- he's such a renaissance man...) -- but, alas, it was just onesies. So, not as bad as originally it appeared, but, still, it's hard to erase the image. So, again... thanks.

maybe Less wrote the voice recognition software.

I can't imagine it. It would be funny infinitus. Even funnier than the patronizingly fake appreciation/continuation of a joke! Oh the comedy!

Hanky Skirt
 

Day-um. No kidding. mr.dtb was just commenting the other day that he had to get a haircut, because he was coming perilously close to sporting a Manny Ramirez 'do.

Exactly. I mean, what if . . .

Wait. One. Minute. Uh oh!! You cunning rascal!!! You turned my zinger back on me! OUCH!

Actually, I was a bit off. I should have typed "docked whore".

hair color
 

Speaking of haircuts, I was getting one yesterday when Gus the barber noted that I seemed to be spouting a few grey hairs. I gave my usual answer ("I don't care what color they are so long as they stick around" -- baldness is a genetic curse that plagues both sides of my family), and added that I assumed that my clients liked a little grey in their lawyer's hair.

Gus shook his head sadly, and told me that he his scissors had snipped many an artifically-tinted hair from the heads of local lawyers.

Is the use of professional grade Grecian Formula common among the fashionable male lawyers out there? Maybe I am just being silly, but I just can't imagine doing this.