He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

We disagree then, because Hartman's deadpan would be perfect.

(By the way, the Beeper King is one of the best characters ever.)

TM

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Why is that I remember exactly where I was* when I found out that Andy Gibb died, but I can't remember where I was when I found out that anyone else died?


*I was shopping for plaid pants (it was the 80s) in Fairweather (a Canadian clothing store that appeals to teens) with my friend Cathy.

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

You are the official black hole of happiness for 7/17/07.

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Yes. But are you talking about something other than "The Best of the Electric Company?" Did you somehow find complete seasons?

TM

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

I remember where I was when I found out Reagan had been shot (riding in a car over Independence Pass on my way to Denver), when the Challenger exploded (TV lounge of the 3rd floor of Sadler Hall, where I was an RA), where I was when PanAm 103 blew up (wrapping Xmas presents for my co-workers), when the Berlin Wall came down (livingt room of 2809 Vista Drive, Manhattan Beach, CA) and where I was when the LA Riots started (1010 E. Union Street, Pasadena, CA, at work).

I do not recall where I was when Paris Hilton went to jail. Either time.

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

No. I have only "The Best of..."

I am sorry to have gotten your hopes up.

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Ah yes, the Challenger. I remember where I was when that happened. My friend and I were dyeing my hair and we were parked in front of the TV waiting for the color to process. If I recall correctly, my hair came out magenta because we were so gripped by the news story that we left the color in too long. Not one of my hair's better days.

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

I prefer to watch lousy TV reruns on my 60" HD television, but hey, if watching a 4 inch screen makes you all happy and gay, then godspeed.

Retaliation
 

You are evil, but thanks for the heads up.

cue Randy Newman
 

This wasn't already obvious to everyone?

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Reagan shot -- my mom was my 2nd grade teacher and she cried in school -- I didn't know who Reagan was and was confused why people were upset

Challenger exploding -- 7th grade teacher cried in school -- I realize I am a cold person because I could not understand why people were upset. So a space shuttle blew up. Big deal. There are other astronauts. That's what I recall thinking at the time.

OJ Bronco Chase -- flying home from being abroad for a year wondering what the hell all the hoopla was

OJ Verdict -- working the bar at Chili's -- half the bar left in disgust immediately after the verdict

Diana crash -- I was at the Eiffel Tower at the time of the crash and learned of her death when I got an English newspaper on the plane the next day flying home

9/11 -- I was rushing to get to work, hungover. Mr. Kiss says, "ABBA you should check this out -- a plane just flew into the World Trade Center." I think I responded by kissing him on the cheek and saying, "I gotta go."

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Reagan shot - no idea
Challenger - at work (ensuring the reelection of Governor Dukakis)
Bronco Chase -- at work; the TV in the conference room was turned on about half-way through
OJ Verdict -- at work; we assembled in the conference room to watch
Diana Crash - at work; no one assembled because it was over a weekend
9/11 - at work; we assembled in conference rooms to watch until people began going home

And, except for the Dukakis part, I'll bet this is pretty much the same list for a large part of the board.

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Elvis: At my mom's friend's house, with her 3 kids. They all loved Elvis and I thought I had to too, so I pretended to be sad. They introduced me to sugar cereal, which they were all allowed to have at any time during the day.

Reagan: Found out at Acrobatics. Didn't care.

Challenger: Half day of junior high school. Saw it explode at my house with a friend. Was sad until I heard the "Where did Christy McAuliffe go for vacation?" joke.

Berlin Wall: Freshman year, in the dorms. My RA was floored over the news. I went to play basketball.

Princess Di: At a girl's house after cheating on my girlfriend with her. Was in a good mood.

OJ Arrest: At home with my roomie, trying to watch the fucking Knicks get beat in the finals. Was glued to the tv for the first 20 minutes of that stupid chase and then was just pissed I was missing the damn game.

OJ Decision: At a law firm, when I was a paralegal, watching in a partner's office with others. Amazed at how hard all the white people took it. Couldn't believe some of them were crying.

9/11: Saw the first plane hit on the way out of the house on my way to work. Thought it was some little plane that screwed up. But I lived in Brooklyn at that point and was taking the train in and saw the tail-end of the second explosion from the train. I said to everyone in the car, "Another plane just hit the Twin Towers," and everyone got up to look. It was very quiet. I wanted to get in because my office was on 41 and I had a clear view of the Towers. They wouldn't let anyone go up, though. Walked to a friend's house since no trains were running. Watched thefirst building fall at a Radio Shack. Was looking at the second building smoking one minute, was talking to someone and then the next minute I looked up and it was completely gone. When I got closer to downtown, saw people who were near the building walking home covered in dust. The person's house I went to, his girlfriend worked in the Towers. Thank God she was a lawyer and didn't go into work until 10:00.

Cancelled Arrested Development: At work. <sniff.> Hit me like a ton of bricks, even though I knew it was coming.

TM

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

Translation: I have a small penis and sometimes think about being with men.

TM

He's seen Morgan Fairchild naked.
 

I was bowling when I learned Len Bias had died.