Question
 

Pre-pay? So you pay before you pay?

Why pay at all? You're dying.

I'll be home, dodging debt collectors and swilling Rhodesian grappa. But I'll be thinking of you...

And how you lost your health battling like a gladiator on the soccer field.

Musical Traders
 

Nobody really said anything when I hung the cow skull on the wall, though I did receive several nice comments when I decorated it for Christmas. Those were better times, though, and the overlords perhaps more indulgent.

And I'd be a little nervous about sucking. I haven't really played in the last year or two, which is why I'd want a guitar at work. I really don't have time for that shit when I get home.

Question
 

Are you sure you didn't leave out a mention of watching wrestling and then some adult movies? It is Wednesday, right?

Question
 

Good question. Maybe I can help:

Iliotibial Band Syndrome (or “ITB syndrome” as those in the know call it) can result from any activity (including cycling-with poor form or soccer) that causes the leg to turn inward repeatedly. This can include wearing poor form in cycling, worn-out shoes, running downhill or on banked surfaces, running too many track workouts in the same direction, or simply running too many miles. Unlike many overuse injuries, however, ITB pain afflicts seasoned cyclists (with poor form) and runners almost as much as beginners.

"Forty percent of the runners et al. we see for ITB syndrome have been running or cycling with poor form 5 or more years," says my long-time friend John Pagliano, D.P.M., a sports-medicine podiatrist in Long Beach, Calif., and a onetime 2:26 marathoner. "That's quite a high number. About 50 percent of them are running or cycling with poor form between 20 and 40 miles a week.

"Also ITB syndrome is much more common in women (hi PLF!)," my good friend Dr. Pagliano notes. "Why? It could be the way some women's hips tilt, which can cause their knees to turn in."

Some experts believe that the incidence of ITB syndrome has increased among all runners and cyclists with poor form in recent years, although the reasons aren't clear.

My good friend Dr. Pagliano describes most runners and poor form cyclists with ITB pain as "Type A's." "They run or cycle with poor form for high mileage," he says. "They're not willing to back off."

How can you tell if you have ITB syndrome? "The best way is to bend your knee at a 45-degree angle. If you have an ITB problem, you'll feel pain on the outside of the knee," says another good friend of mine, Dr. Fu. "Sometimes an MRI can confirm it. An X-ray is usually negative, but an MRI can show a partial thickening of the band -- which results from inflammation."

Prevention

Here are some steps you can take to prevent ITB syndrome

1. Most importantly, always decrease your mileage or take a few days off if you feel pain on the outside of your knee.

2. Warm up slowly

3. Make sure your shoes aren't worn along the outside of the sole. If they are, replace them.

4. Run in the middle of the road where it's flat. (To do this safely, you'll need to find roads with little or no traffic and excellent visibility.)

5. Don't run on concrete surfaces.

6. When running on a track, change directions repeatedly.

7. Schedule an evaluation by a podiatrist to see if you need orthotics.

8. Avoid doing any type of squats.

9. Work on good cycling form: turning round circles and keeping your leg in a single plane.

Remember, YMMV, NPI.

Question
 

Merde! STP! STP!

Question
 

You and my great aunt, both lost to IT Band disease. She from nancing about in her tulip garden for thirty years, you from skipping around the soccer field.

When will this hideous disease be stopped?

#$(*%
 

You know what I hate? Well, I'll tell you.

I hate when you receive an e-mail with some fucking-fuckity-fuckhead thing to review, and it's addressed to you and another person. The other person then sends you an email that says "Can you take a first cut?"

WTFingFityF? Like "a first cut" is somehow less onerous than "Will you do this?"

I hate it, but I had already done it, b/c the requester is my favorite person in this whole place. So the "first cut" guy can KISS MY ASS!

Question
 

I am convinced that running on the edge of the road is what caused me to break my leg. Where were you when I needed you, Penske? HUH?

(concrete as opposed to asphalt?)

#$(*%
 

Don't hold back. Share your feelings with the group.

You're in a safe place. We're not here to judge...only to mock.

Question
 

I promise not to look at your last post for at least 15 minutes in case you want to delete it based on Sebastian's counsel.

#$(*%
 

Whoops. I do this all the time, except I usually say something like "please do the initial draft, and then let me look at it."

Oh, and my name is on the coffee cups, so people pretend to listen.

Question
 

Skipping about like a mighty gladiator, you cheesesteak-abstaining pansy.

Question
 

ITBS: it's not just for runners anymore

also

#$(*%
 

In other words, "please do this, and then I will check to make sure you didn't fuck it up, and struggle to find something to add or correct when I realize you didn't."

Question
 

I'm sure you dress like a gladiator from time to time. If you can swing that on the soccer field, well I say "Amen, sister."