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Not happy.

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You did the nasty with the real Spank Myasski?

Announcement
 

Desired comedic effect has been acheived.

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I should be nicer to the people I fuck. They are clearly treasures.

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Nah. Not really. It was a throw away line that I had to include once I decided to clarify that I have no sexual fantasies including Spanky, but I'm sure you already know that. Clever girl that you are.

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So you have no sexual fantasies including any that Spanky stars in or you have no sexual fantasies that Spanky stars in?

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That's stupid. Unless you're sb, who would love it for obvious reasons.

The trick with ass-smacking is the caress and the anticipation. Running your fingers very lightly over the general area that will be/has been smacked makes for increased excitement (especially when it's red and a little welted). First you lightly graze the ass with your fingers, just kind of caressing for awhile. Then you stop touching altogether before the smack. I've found that varying the amount of time between smacks, when you're not caressing seems to work best. Then, as soon as that hand gets pulled back, they anticipate being smacked. If they can't tell when it's going to happen, they get a little wild -- sometimes trying to make you smack them. You must resist of course. Otherwise, you lose that anticipation.

TM

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Jesus fucking Christ will the fucking freak posts from this guy never stop?

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My ex-bf walked in on me and the "come on baby" guy. That was fun. (we had broken up but still lived together, and I brought men home thinking he would be at work)

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You fucked Lumberg?

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Or in my case, you marry him.

Jeez, was that stupid.

Namaste, fats!
 

Every time I see the commercial, I start singing to myself:

Knock, knock, knock, who's that? It's Momma, son
Lookin' for the bitch who took the money and run
Now the daylight's gone and there's no more fun
And who's the fuckin' bitch who stole all the heroin?
Heroin, heroin, it's all gone
Smoked it all up, and now you got none


str(it's a wicked world that we live in . . . )8

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You know how your eyes tend to adjust to the dark after a while? Flipping the lightswitch can be startling experience.

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In my experience that's not usually true. Usually it's the "legs are going higher up and spreading further apart" move that says "put your arms under my knees and pin me down and fuck the hell out of me while holding my wrists down so I can't move at all until we both come.

Usually works pretty damn good. At least, it did back when I was in the game.

Why do most women have to be encouraged to get on top of me? Is it a laziness issue?

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Mmmm, body language reading.

Uh, does this not work with your wife? Or is the no sex after marriage thing true for you?