Tunnel diggers
 

DS and Mr. enter rural hardware & building supply store in a cloud of hydroponic chronic

Clerk: Can I help you?

DS: . . . .

Mr: Yeah, we uh . . uh . . need some cement. Concrete. Stuff.

DS: We ran out. Of cement. We weren't literally "running." Isn't it funny that you say "ran out" when you mean you don't have any more? Huh.

Mr: Yeah, so, that foundation . . . whoo! What a mess. I mean, not because of anything we did or anything. It's just really, like, messed up. On its own. By itself. So we have to fix it.

DS: It's all fucked up.

Mr: (turning red) Yeah . . . fucked . . . (stifling uncontrollable laughter) totally.fucked.up! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

DS: Bahahahahaha!!!! Fucked right the fucking fuck up! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Clerk: Cement's over there.

Tunnel diggers
 

Shit, that was you behind us when we were getting boards and, stuff, for the, uh, things, that fell down. The shelves. They fell.

What are you looking at?

It's possible that my romance addled mind has blocked out all memories of images and sounds that horrific.

Romance?

The moon has definitely hit your eye like a big pizza pie. Does this young gentleman caller know the type of hardware he's competing with? He should be extremely proud.

He does now, or he will the next time he logs in...

I'm sure he's already purchased a certain engraved gold-plated vibrator for use on those long nights in Houston when he is not around (and/or pre-/post- phone sex). The only question is what does the engraving say?

A few questions, of the rain-on-your-parade type:

1. How long have you known him? Does he know that you are RT - does he read this board? You seem head-over-heels and that always makes me nervous after just one night of luuuuv, as it were. Not that I'm not very happy for you.

2. Do you make trips to where he lives often? Does he come to Houston often - is it feasible that you could have an ldr?

3. Have you had ldrs in the past?

That said, I'm very pleased for you that the vibrators are getting some competition. Sex is fun. I would echo what Coltrane said, and just let it be without thinking too much about what it means etc.

Which will be to consult the dossier, if he's smart.

It's ok, Spanky doesn't read the FB. But I heard paigow will be waiting for you in the parking lot after school.

This one goes to eleven?

Do you mean logs in here? So he's a FB'er?

Bravo, monkey boy. I like that one.

The Secret of Life
 

Oh, nuts!

Just go nuts, girl, totally nuts.

It's all about nuts.

Out of curiosity, where might one get a gold plated vibrator engraved?