Happy Easter
 

Happy Easter everyone.

Work safe? Depends. What sense of humor your IT guys have. If they understand 2 people in Bunny suits "doing it" in the streets of a large city in traffic - then yeah - work safe

And here's one of some guy who documented the separation of conjoined peeps. totally work safe

And and new tshirt

http://store6.yimg.com/I/ekay_1788_11977616

Problem
 

We don't mind. Really. Please carry on.

Problem
 

I don't know. I don't see an obvious way to do it and am not inclined to spend a lot of time. I will say however that you and Bilmore are lucky that those politics board posts got erased. Had they not, you two would really have left everyone else in the dust.

For Science
 

A novel response to "go fuck yourself."

http://www.nerve.com/regulars/ididitforscience/strapon/

(amusing and somewhat explicit account of a columnist who molds a dildo from his penis and then experiences it on the receiving end; no pictures)

I am intrigued by the Make Your Own Dildo kit referenced in the column. The kit enables you to mold a dildo from your own penis. I am interested.

Many of the fb women (and not a few of the men, nttawwt)) have expressed a strong desire to have sex with me. As much as I'd like to fuck all of you, the hard foul truth is that I'm busy, there are only so many hour in a day (I'm working on that), and I cannot say for certain when I will be able to get to each of you.

But I am not a World Ruler without a heart. I know how painful your longing for me must be. So I generously offer to you a dildo molded from my very own beautiful beautiful cock. Clearly, this is not nearly as good as us being together, beholding me in my full cold-blooded splendor. But it is the next best thing until we can arrange mutually convenient times to release you from the prisons of your unbridled lust.

Due to overwhelming anticipated demand, I am afraid I cannot be expected to bear the full burden of the expense. For your convenience, here is the link to order the MYOD kit.

http://www.rainbownetwork.com/myod/s...namicIndex.asp
(Make Your Own Dildo kit order page - has pictures of dildos, or perhaps penises, it's difficult to tell - they're so lifelike!)

Each kit costs only $69.95, a small price to pay for your pleasure. The vibrating model costs $10 more. There is a modest savings when you order 2 kits, so a little coordination among you is advised. PM, IM, or email me for shipping instructions. I look forward to servicing you.

For Profit
 

I bet you are getting a cut of the action. Whore.

Problem
 

Maybe I just shouldn't respond to this.

For Profit
 

Normally I would ask you to take your commie shit back to politics. But I assure you, the only way I profit from this is by imagining the smiles on your fulfilled faces. And in a rare display of benevolence, I will even cover the cost of shipping the finished product to all requestors. There are limits too my benevolence, though. You'll have to buy your own batteries for the vibrating models.

always bet black, man
 

Learn the results here.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...et_briton_dc_1

Bitch-tits and Birdies
 

Congrats Phil. There couldn't be a better way to win your first major and get that BPNTWAM monkey off your back. At Augusta, against a hyper-worthy challenger who's playing unreal golf, and to catch him and pass him with 5 birdies in the last seven holes.

Both Phil and Ernie made unreal shots from big trouble -- Phil on 10, Ernie on 14. Other than that, neither made a serious mistake, and both just played incredible golf. Ernie's irons were a bit off, but his short game let him recover beautifully. Meanwhile, Phil didn't come close to missing a green on the back. And when Phil poured in that putt on 12, I had a feeling it was on (in the South Park sense). I mean 12 at Augusta on Sunday - is there a bigger birdie in all of golf? To say nothing of 14 and 18, both of which are almost impossible birdie holes. Of course, when he hit his tee shot and then birdied 16, my wife, who is not a big golf fan, was unimpressed after seeing two aces on that hole in the previous half hour.

Probably the best Masters I've ever watched. Way to go Phil. So now who's the new BPNTWAM? It's been Phil for so long I don't know who the other candidates are? I think it's either Monty, Sergio, Darren Clarke or Kenny Perry.

For Science
 

The Irish Curse doesn't sound so bad after all.

Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling . . . .

Problem
 

Well, thanks, dear. Now I gotta quit again.

There are some things in which one should not be "first".

Survivor Note to Self - Don't Take Stock Tips From Paigow
 

And speaking of stock tips, dont take one from Less unless you want to be a tippee with the SEC after you. He already knows who the last two survivors are. twenty twenty hindsight.

Music
 

This first band soudns like Blues Traveler.

As for britiish music, Oasis' Whats the Story Morning GLory is one of my alltime favorite albums. I dont like the song Wonderwall but much of it is great. So i will add supergrass to the list. i like their name.

For Science
 

Do you recommend the vibrating model? is there a make your own tongue feature you can attach? I have to say, if I need vibration on top of your cock, I may have to rethink seeing you in Houston in November at the Masters at the place that the king of furniture of texas built. I had a nice dram about Mark Phillippoussis lastg night.

Music
 

Someone enjoyed using that musicplasma site.

For Science
 

I can't really recommend or not recommend the vibrating model. Unlike the science guy, I have not fucked myself. Even if I had, our mileage would almost certainly have varied due to equipment differences. The original does not vibrate.

I'll look into the tongue thing. You know me - eager to please.

Naomi Watts's TITS
 

I saw 21 Grams on Saturday, which intrigued me in many ways. However, the most nagging concern I have about the movie involves Naomi Watts' TITS (actually her nipples). I have never seen anything like them. I don't like the elongated look, and neither did Mr. Kiss. That said, I can't stop thinking about this. Is this a turn on? A turn off? A "who cares"? For those who have not seen Naomi Watts's TITS, her nipples are about a quarter of an inch long. Like a finger almost. Or maybe a little toe.

Problem
 

I should probably scroll and then post, but fuck it, I'm behind... You don't look jewish to me. You do look like a black guy with a bad mustache. Hope this helps.

Problem
 

On the page that lists the threads for each section, in the table listing the threads is a link for "Replies" for each thread. Clicking on that link will list the number of replies by each person for that thread. However, since there are multiple threads for the FB, this gives you only a partial number.

For the last two boards, you had 103 and 18 posts respectively, out of 4999 and 8xx, putting you well out of the top ten.

Problem
 

My mustache is luxuriant and faaabulous. Don't be a hata, honkey

http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCT...0/10042901.jpg

Golden showers
 

As I type, I'm on the phone with my sister, who is telling me about her date from Thursday/Friday.

They met at his birthday party Thursday, and he's a workout buddy of my brother's (there is now a family-wide ban on going out with anyone our brother recommends). Sister says the guy is smoking hot and sort of interesting, though another friend opined that he'd be perfect if he'd just shut up. They hang out for the rest of the night, bar hopping. They end up back at her place. Pretty early on in the hot and heavy part of the evening, he asks her to pee on him and repeated the request several times in the course of the evening. My sister declined that specific request, though I was left with the impression that some of his other requests were enthusiastically met.

During the debriefing, my sister and I were sort of impressed that he was so out there with his fetishes, given that he expressed interest in developing an actual relationship with her at other points in the evening (at one point freaking her out by bringing up kids). We thought that these sort of fetishes in an actual relationship get brought up after a nice fetish-free introductory period. His rationale on the golden showers was that it was his birthday and she should give in to his fetish as a gift.

Anyhow, my sister has now sworn off dating all together. The last guy she went out on a date with ended up getting trashed at the party they were attending, went outside for air, couldn't remember which house the party was in, went back to his car and fell asleep.

Golden showers
 

Your post makes me think two things.

1. Your sister needs to find better men to date.

2. People really need to keep their fetishes to themselves for a while. Some fetishes they need to keep to themselves pretty much forever. Saying, I think it would be really hot if you tied me up and fucked me is one thing. Saying I think it would be really hot if you tied me up and peed on me, quite another.

Golden showers
 

First-night hook-up and the guy asks for a golden shower? Good god.

Is he German? If so, she should be nervous about the second encounter.

Golden showers
 

I have to agree with leagl on this one. Also, as an aside, what the fuck is up with the desire to be pissed upon, or shat upon, for that matter? I am all in favor of people exercising their respective fetishes, but I will never understand the desire to be one's lover's toilet for the evening.

Just my $0.02.

Pink showers
 

If someone ever said that to me, I would say, "Sure, but I am only into that once a month. And I dont use tampons".

hellboy
 

Hellboy was a mighty fine flick - high recommendation, even pretty much OK for most kids old enough to be interested (one murdered parent figure is probably the worst of it - violence mostly involves blue monster goo, no sex).

High marks for what most critics called "atmosphere," or what I would call "the realization that the comic is, much more than the movie, a visual medium, and therefore the visual presentation must be much more expressive and carefully crafted to even vaguely "translate" the original subject matter." Even higher marks for realizing that visuals are the effective way to convey thought and emotion without lots of bullshit dialogue & explication.

Very high marks for not schmalzting up the "emotional growth" bullshit everyone seems to want to see heros do these days (see: Spiderman - sorry Sam). GdT gets a surprising amount of emotional sophistication from his characters just by having them shut the hell up and, um, act.

Uber high marks for having a swearing, smoking, drinking, sarcastic, disobedient hero whose main "secret evidence of a kind heart" is that he is actually a crazy cat-lady.

Most of all, the movie has my thanks for having the guts to just set up a seriously, totally ridiculous premise and basically telling the audience "it's a movie so just shut up and fucking go with it, OK?"

I've never read the comics, so I'm curious as to whether they are as overtly Lovecraftian as the movie was (I started chuckling like a fiend at the first quote from De Vermis Mysteriis). This was one area, in particular, where I admired the visual representations - ever wondered what you might see were you to find Cthulhu dreaming in his house in R'lyeh? This is a pretty good representation - you see it, but, despite being beautifully shot, you aren't really sure what you are looking at, which is just perfect.

Oh, and Ron Perlman rocks. As always. He is one of those actors who is really excellent, but you look at him and think "he's great but he looks so weird, what the fuck can you use him for?" Apparently, acting his way through 80 pounds of prosthetics, for one. Maybe European directors can start finding ways to use Crispin Glover the way they have Perlman.

Golden showers
 

He at least should have the courtesy not to ask her to piss on him in herbed.

Golden showers
 

I don't even want to know what's on the rest of his birthday list.

It seems a little TMI for a first hook-up. Could it be this line has worked on many of his initial dates?

Golden showers
 

Just pee on the nice boy already.

Joe Schmo 2
 

from realityblurred:

Golden showers
 

What a great strategy (as long as you don't mind being known as "Pissboy").

Think about it, "Hey, will you piss on me?"

"No"

"Well if you won't do what I really want, how about you put on this nurse's outfit and thigh high leather boots, blow me for 20 minutes, and then I hit slot C for a while?"

After the initial request, everything seems reasonable.

my new friend
 

Last week I hung out with a girl who dated (once or twice - said he was boring) someone called Brian from Average Joe II. Was he discussed on this board? She says that girls are all over him in Boston now and that he is very distincltly average, so she finds it pretty funny.

hellboy
 

Agree, and agree. I saw it yesterday, and loved it. I'm pissed off now, having discovered that there's an extra scene after the credits. Hellboy made me think that a Deadpool movie is actually possible, so long as they get a director and a writer who is willing to tell the producers to shut the fuck up and let the heroes not be so textbook heroic. I'm really worried what they're going to do with Elektra, though it'd be really cool if they put in the sex change.

Edited because I forgot we don't use HTML here.

Golden showers
 

He's not a sicko. He's the greatest negotiatior of all time.

Golden showers
 

Which was freakier -- him bringing up kids, or him requesting a golden shower?

Both of those are things not to raise on the first date. Or the first 10 dates.

hellboy
 

Like, a whole extra scene, or just the little extra blurb with the head of the FBI that I actually caught?

Now I'm pissed, too.

One question
 

Is str8 gonna have to choke a bitch? Is str8 gonna have to get out of this car and choke a bitch?

Thank you comedy central for the Chapelle marathon. I can't believe I'd deleted the Rick James episode from my Tivo. Now it's back for good.

In sorta related news, HBO is showing a Chris Rock concert movie this weekend. I believe it's from his recent tour. If so, it's do-not-miss.

Off on a tangent, Edie Falco bugs the piss out of me. Last night's Sopranos episode felt like it was about 8 hours long.

Breaking B-List Celebrity News
 

Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and John Stamos breaking up. Spokesperson calls it "amicable."

With his stint as a heartthrob rocker-bad boy on GH 20 years gone, and the Olsen twins all grown up, what the hell will poor talentless John do for publicity now?

hellboy
 

Dunno, the IMDB is being particularly uninformative on the point. If you liked Hellboy's irreverence, you'd LOVE Wade Wilson aka Deadpool's. He's a mercenary, and he doesn't always end up on the side of good. He's *gasp* complex. Hollywood would never go for him.

hellboy
 

I saw it this weekend as well. Thought it was a good movie. Not great. The dialogue was very well done. The ending sucked. Big bad monster climax scene !!!!!!!

boop.

done.

end of movie.

That was not so good. But, I would recommend it to others. It is a LOT better than other comic books films [i.e. daredevil, hulk]

aV