LawTalkers - It's all about me

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Apparently there are some soccer matches that get underway before the opening cermonies.

Does anyone care about the Olympics this year? I'll probably watch the swimming stuff, because I always watch the swimming stuff, but I'd pretty much forgotten about them. Did the advertisers decide not to hype this year or is this another byproduct of my commercial free, TiVo happy life?

I'll definitely watch the swimming. And I'll leave the apartment when someone else is watching gymnastics.

I'll try and tune in for some of the marathon, since there's a LITTLE bit if tradition/history there. On that note, the Chicago and New York Marathons have offered $500k to any American who wins the race (male or female). You have a better chance of winning that Chrysler Crossfire in the hole-in-one challenge at your corporate golf outing than an American does at winning the marathon (since Khalid isn't running).

greatwhitenorthchick

08-10-2004 12:44 PM

Did ya'll know the Olympics start tomorrow?

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I'll definitely watch the swimming.

I'll watch the track events, and probably swimming. And I'll watch any event where a Canadian might win, even if it's trampoline (if NBC shows it). Or triathalon or diving (actually, I quite enjoy diving and triathalon).

Anne Elk

08-10-2004 12:45 PM

Did ya'll know the Olympics start tomorrow?

Quote:

I'll follow the women's soccer and the swimming. The fashion show that is the Opening Ceremonies is always entertaining. Women's soccer kicks off tomorrow with the US playing Greece. I'm wishing I had a Tivo due to the time difference.

robustpuppy

08-10-2004 12:46 PM

Did ya'll know the Olympics start tomorrow?

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I'll definitely watch the swimming. And I'll leave the apartment when someone else is watching gymnastics.

Aha! So it's twoo! Twoo wuv, that is! Of course, not so twoo that you're ready to get married, but twoo enough to move in together. Sequels is a lucky girl; the way you refer to her as "someone else" makes my thighs tingle. Congratulations and good luck!

Did you just call me Coltrane?

08-10-2004 12:50 PM

Did ya'll know the Olympics start tomorrow?

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Aha! So it's twoo! Twoo wuv, that is! Of course, not so twoo that you're ready to get married, but twoo enough to move in together. Sequels is a lucky girl; the way you refer to her as "someone else" makes my thighs tingle. Congratulations and good luck!

"Someone else" is Sebby. He likes watching 14-year old prepubescent girls bounce around in leotards. YMMV.

Replaced_Texan

08-10-2004 12:50 PM

For your entertainment

www.uglydress.com

A site dedicated to bad bridesmaid dresses.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

08-10-2004 12:51 PM

uh...help me out here

Quote:

Originally posted by people who care
Sweetie, is your brain on pause? If not, then how DARE you lump the people who care in to the category of the dullarsds who are out to bring down the contnet level of the board.

Because we care, we have chastised those who are potentially the funniest best posters for tossing away their talents. Our critiques are legit. We could say look in the mirror, but you would be unable to see a relfection of past greatness like say Thurgreed, Bilmore or even slave (although that was so long ago who knows if it was perhaps the mojitos talking).

Instead, you would see some watered down version of a midlevel poster long gone, like ThrashersFan or pursejunkie, who uses a festive guise to make completely unfunny posts only slightly less unfunny. The only humor you generate is serving yourself up to get shot down by TaxWonk, but even that game is played out. You are bitter, pointlessly festive, unfunny, and not worth the energy it takes our collective pointer finger to scroll the mouse over your 100 posts a day. We suggest a new start and a new act.

I miss missing certain posters. Sniff, sniff.

Shape Shifter

08-10-2004 01:01 PM

confidential to Sunny

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Good god. You're the FB's Chevy Chase circa now.

Coltrane, you're forgetting the first two rules of Comedy.

Rule #1: It is always better to be Chevy Chase than Doug Stanhope.

Rule #2: Rule #1 does not apply if you're Doug Stanhope traveling with the crew of Girls Gone Wild.

Gattigap

08-10-2004 01:05 PM

uh...help me out here

Quote:

Originally posted by people who care
We suggest a new start and a new act.

[Emphasis added. Ed.]

On the bright side, that these have been corralled into a single login must be considered progress.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

08-10-2004 01:07 PM

confidential to Sunny

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Coltrane, you're forgetting the first two rules of Comedy.

Rule #1: It is always better to be Chevy Chase than Doug Stanhope.

Rule #2: Rule #1 does not apply if you're Doug Stanhope traveling with the crew of Girls Gone Wild.

Chevy now or 1976?

Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: 1974.
Billy: Meg Ryan.

Gattigap

08-10-2004 01:17 PM

mmmm, bacon

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
One I saw long enough to get my attention. On the cover in big letters:

Jack-Off Tricks for A More Enjoyable 1977!.

I guess it was a January issue, but it was quickly thrown away.

I was really intrigued, I mean, I was sure it'd be all puff and nothing really new, but still, some progress is possible. Somewhere someone might know something I didn't, you know?

Timing, Hank, is everything. Provide us with an unmarked post box address, and we'll take up a collection to get you a subscription to today's version of a proclaimed "hobbyist's magazine for guys whose hobby is jerking off."

On the plus side, it seems (based on recent observations whilst travelling) that Maxim's mainstream cred will allow you to bring it out from the back of the drawers, and conspicuously read it in airports. The repellent effect on women is presumably a marginal one that only you can judge.

Shape Shifter

08-10-2004 01:27 PM

confidential to Sunny

Quote:

Originally posted by people who care
We have been reading your work for almost 3400 posts and the only funny thing we recall you saying is "that's like Jack and Diane without the claps" and we suspect that you did not invent that, so when you say "originial", remember Glass Houses.

Also, because we care, if you and Sequels have not yet acquired the joint checking account at Lincoln Park Savings & Loan then there is still time. Remember, unless slave and Less have a tres amigo then the cabelleros are just not gay enough.

You people are completely missing the point of Coltrane. Coltrane is not here to dazzle us with displays of intellect, wit, or sophisticated humor. We have sunnybunny for that.

Coltrane is here for the hope symbolized by his youth. Male posters look at Coltrane and fondly remember the simpler days of our youth, time spent with roommates, Jock Jams, and uncomplicated women. Female posters see Coltrane as the last best hope for their succulent Fall Plums, fully ripened in their tantalizing plump juiciness, waiting for that final chance to be plucked before the withering onset of winter, when they fall and disappear forever like a post describing oneself as being elbow-deep in slave.

And his Boston Marathon posts were pretty good.

Did you just call me Coltrane?

08-10-2004 01:38 PM

confidential to Sunny

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
You people are completely missing the point of Coltrane. Coltrane is not here to dazzle us with displays of intellect, wit, or sophisticated humor. We have sunnybunny for that.

Coltrane is here for the hope symbolized by his youth. Male posters look at Coltrane and fondly remember the simpler days of our youth, time spent with roommates, Jock Jams, and uncomplicated women. Female posters see Coltrane as the last best hope for their succulent Fall Plums, fully ripened in their tantalizing plump juiciness, waiting for that final chance to be plucked before the withering onset of winter, when they fall and disappear forever like a post describing oneself as being elbow-deep in slave.

And his Boston Marathon posts were pretty good.

A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.

That's me, except w/out the vagina and stiletto heels.

ltl/fb

08-10-2004 01:39 PM

confidential to Sunny

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
That's me, except w/out the vagina and stiletto heels.

You have pretty round soft squeezable breasts? Cool.

Shape Shifter

08-10-2004 01:55 PM

Did ya'll know the Olympics start tomorrow?

Quote:

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Amazingly enough, no. I am usually pretty excited about watching the Summer and Winter Games. Once the games start I may get into it, but I certainly am not at this point.

Have you decided what team you'll be rooting for? I'm considering USA this year, except in basketball.

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