Hypothetically
 

To someone above both of you, who you like and who you can trust to keep your conversation anonymous.

Hypothetically
 

Duh. To him or her. The next time he or she or it tries to walk all over you. Either directly or obliquely, whatever works. You don't have to say "you are condescending." Just resist the unnecessary instruction; don't redo stuff unnecessarily; inform it that you have other things on which to spend your time. It's not a partner, it's a lateral nobody likes who is walking all over you because you are allowing it to do so. You will do more harm to yourself and your career allowing yourself to be treated like shit than you would by standing up for yourself against an ass. Nobody respects a wimp.

Hypothetically
 

ABBA, I love you, but a caveat, I am drunk, not that that diminishes the value of my advice above, or even my declaration of love, but I might fall asleep.

Hypothetically
 

If anyone instructed me to use plastic paper clips instead of staples I would laugh in their face. Fuck plastic paper clips!

Hypothetically
 

I thought the person was your boss. Don't say anything to anyone else. Just say "no."

Hypothetically
 

Hypothetically
 

When you have her alleged oral skills, it's easy to persuade people to stop at third base.

Hypothetically
 

I am confused. I think FBA should say no to work and micromanaing instructions. But your picture suggests either that FBA should say no to an offer of drugs, or to a request for a blow job. Please clarify.

ETA: damn, Ty. My reaction time is too slow.

Hypothetically
 

Who the hell uses plastic paper clips?
They suck.
But tell whoever it is that you have your own work to do and you'll not be doing their work for them. Or, in the alternative, just sit on it for awhile and see how long it takes them to do it themselves once the answer to "is it done yet" is no.

Hypothetically
 

Hi, ABBA, I tried to text you! Just send me a text to let me know you're OK. Allright, I know I said I loved you, but I was just drunk, and a little emotional, and I get very affectionate when I'm drunk. I'm totally OK with the casual thing. Call me, okay? Even just leave a voice mail. I Just want to know that you got home safe.

hypothetical
 

I've dealt with jerks like this. I let one jerk lateral senior associate push me around. Another junior GA peer had a closed door session with the jerk and the jerk treated em with respect and didn't tweak to em about paper clips and formatting from that point on.
I asked the successful junior what em said to get the jerk to stay cool. Our jerk was a real nut. So strong language was called for.
You don't sound like you're there yet. Try this. The next time the jerk tells you to redo something for formatting or something else stupid, say you did it in a way everyone else in your office likes. You'll try to do things for the jerk its way in the future, but you don't want/ have time to redo something for aesthetic reasons.
If this doesn't get the jerk to cool it, then I don't know what to do. You will probably have to be more forceful. Or you could try the sly approach. ("You should know you're making people mad by insisting on x,y and z. It's gonna hurt you if you don't stop.") But the sly, "I'm-just-giving-you-some-inside-advice" approach may make the jerk think you are its friend or ally.
Bottom line is you will have to say something to the jerk to get this to stop. Senior people usu. don't want to hear about shit like this. Also, they may not want to admit/find out they hired a dweeb. Start by politely standing your ground. That usu. makes most people cool it. You don't want to directly confront the jerk unless you have to. But if you have to, sooner is better than later.

hypothetical
 

A good start, my young pupil. Now condense it all into a single paragraph, and we're almost there.

hypothetical
 

You sir, are a dickbag.

hypothetical
 

Putting aside for the moment the unusual word choice that you have implemented here, it is worth exploring further why you would choose to rise to defend the honor of a poster named "sfiail." Presumably, em can do so emself, and from my initial review of the writing skills attributable to that moniker, I have little doubt that an effective defense is one to which our young sfiail can one day aspire. Once paragraph and sentence structure, together with an cogent point, are fully mastered, naturally.

Until then, I am tempted to inquire about the relationship between that poster and you. Is "sfiail" some sort of dryer implement with which we are generally unaware?

Cordially,
Wm. Faulkner

Hypothetically
 

Bite your tongue.