A question
 

You can actually grab her tits. You can even probably get away with a little dry humping. Have at it, man!

A question
 

Dry? Fuck, now you tell me.

A question
 

What about if a stripper you saw the night before shows up (as a regular patron) at the bar you're at the next night? I can stare all I want and remind myself what she looked like naked, correct?

A question
 

Depends. Will you go over every third song and leave a $5 in front of her?

A question
 

Well, when in a T-shirt, the consensus seems to be "yes," so you're probably safe here.

You could also argue that you were simply trying to read it, and make out the "Hardcore Since '74" in small print.

Job opening
 

The word is actuaries, actuarials are reports and reports don't wear socks.













(Yes, I am going to go kill myself now for correcting a post about actuaries)

A question
 

I think her boyfriend would take offense and nearly beat the shit out of you if you didn't.

Job opening
 

How tall are you? I'm 6'11"

A question
 

That part's in braile (sp?), right?

A question
 

Shit, you're marrying her, remember? You can stare at her until you run out of singles.

Job opening
 

Spoken like a guy who spent his early years with lots of peanut butter and his early 30s with pockets full of Snicker's bars.

Job opening
 

I think that's only right. Use one of your Shuns. It'll be almost painless that way.

Or you can try my method. It takes a lot longer, but you get to eat all the salami you want.

Job opening
 

But I am. And people keep misspelling my name.

A question
 

Y'all are making me wish I were wearing one of those t-shirts right now.

Job opening
 

This is a SS/slave reference, right? You're obsessed.

Job opening
 

Even though I am not hugest fan (in terms of fan-ness, as opposed to size), I put the greatest hits on the mp3 server last week. A fine collection.

Job opening
 

I know. AND I've been gone. AND Sebby was in there twice.

humanity, oh, etc.

Job opening
 

Is the daughter 2 or 16? If 16, is there a daughter of the daughter who is 2? If so, what does this say about cheapness?

Job opening
 

I figured some other geek would get to it, so I held off correcting until I stp-ed. Good to know I made the right choice.

Job opening
 

Hat Trick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Job opening
 

The daughter is now 16. She gave me the jar of Skippy Super Chunk when she was two. (Actually, she just picked it out and Mom bought it, but don't tell Sebby).

Job opening
 

piece of advice- don't explain to fringey, don't try and make her feel guilty- there is really no reason. Attack only.

Job opening
 

I like your new pope-y outfit.

Sounds like Wanker's daughter is past the "pre" part of "prepubescent." Must make those sleepovers more fun . . .

Job opening
 

.:( :(

Job opening
 

Blondie, or Erasure? I heard Yaz on the way home and pondered Yaz vs. Alison Moyet (solo) vs. Erasure. Hmmmmmm.

A question
 

We're getting a lot of personal bests around here lately. I'm going to have to step it up a notch or two.

yay
 

"First, I'd like to thank my mockie manager, my mockie agent, and my mockie publicist for all their work dealing with all the mockies out here in Mockiewood. I'd like to thank my makeup person, a Gay and a Fat, but not a Rude Fat, for repairing all the damage I always manage to do the night before. And a special thank you to Raj, my yoga instructor who also does my document review, which allows me the free time to keep performing. Namaste.

Who would have thought I would be hear today? I know some thought I was nothing more than a used up crazy spinster hag way past my sellby date with a parched desert sandbox for a vagina and a mantrapping ass. To those people, I say, "get over it slave. I am not obsessed by you. I just like the hairless cat pics."

To the rest of you, the little people, I know I am expected to thank you. However, I see little to thank you for. Without me, you are nothing. I am The Paigow. Somebody bring me a drink so I can get drunk enough to fuck the valet. He is a Black"

yay
 

The voice is spot-on - but far, far too few typos.

It's the New Von Dutch
 

Surely someone has already pointed this out, but there's no way flower would wear something with such abominable misuse of the subjunctive.

Pfft.


Why would anyone ruin an otherwise-lovely t-shirt?!? Why, Bilmore, why?!?

Job opening
 

You know, I had to get to the word "said" until I realized you were not talking about a feline.

At least, I think you are not talking about a feline -- unless you have a magical talking cat, that is.

Job opening
 

You're not on the bus?

Job opening
 

You're both wrong. The one who could pass is the furniture guy (but for the fact that he's an interior decorator).

Job opening
 

Is it sad, or otherwise worrisome, that I didn't even blink over the above acronym, and understood it perfectly and immediately? In fact, I had to scroll back to see that it even was an acronym.

yay
 

Pay attention, class. Note gwinky's correct use of the subjunctive. Gwinky can teach us all so much. Subjunctive is just the tip of the iceberg.

yay
 

Will this be on the final?

yay
 

You know what? I'm not going to note it.

yay
 

Thank you!

This weekend, I kickboxed for five hours and got kicked in the head twice, then did some high-quality legal work, then went to a barbecue where everyone was at least 5 years younger, played a drinking game called "flip cup" (I KICKED ASS, btw), drank some more, then did some more high-quality legal work, then had lots and lots of sex with a guy who may or may not be my boyfriend.

You all have SO much to learn from me.

yay
 

I wish I was you!

Except for the getting kicked in the head part, and the legal work part, and the having sex with your maybe-boyfriend part. NTTAWWT.

yay
 

Sorry you had to work this weekend. Maybe next weekend will be better.

yay
 

I'm so happy you called it "flip cup" and not "flippy cup". That made my morning.