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-   Mom & Dad, Esq. (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=45)
-   -   General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq. (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=107)

viet_mom 11-29-2008 12:55 PM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372689)
Thanks.

On a new topic, Eldest Grinch, aged seven, is best friends with a boy in our neighborhood. Same school, same soccer team, same carpool -- the works. Friend's mom just dropped the bombshell that they're thinking of moving to Colorado. Neither boy knows this is a possibility yet. Both will likely be devastated.

Anyone have advice on how to contextualize the news that your best friend in the world is moving away? Should I make unrealistic promises, like "you two can keep up by e-mail" when I know that won't happen, or, if it does, the relationship will turn lopsided?
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope your friend's wife has a good support system. On the "best friend moving" thing, is it unrealistic that they'd keep up by e-mail? I would be up front about how it's gonna suck not to have his buddy there all the time but I might soften the blow by seeing if you can pin down a time when they might see eachother again (if possible). Also, I don't know if you're on facebook but I am and I have a few friends on there that moved away from our neighborhood when I was about your boy's age. Obviously, we haven't kept in touch starting from that time but have reconnected. I think I would show Viet Babe examples of kids I still keep in touch with - and pics of them and their kids. At least she'd know that a friend moving away isn't going to mean no contact forever and ever. FWIW, my own parents wanted to move when we were little (just a few towns over) and we badgered my parents so relentlessly that they finally caved in and we stayed in the neighborhood.

taxwonk 11-30-2008 02:30 PM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372689)
Thanks.

On a new topic, Eldest Grinch, aged seven, is best friends with a boy in our neighborhood. Same school, same soccer team, same carpool -- the works. Friend's mom just dropped the bombshell that they're thinking of moving to Colorado. Neither boy knows this is a possibility yet. Both will likely be devastated.

Anyone have advice on how to contextualize the news that your best friend in the world is moving away? Should I make unrealistic promises, like "you two can keep up by e-mail" when I know that won't happen, or, if it does, the relationship will turn lopsided?
I've refrained from commenting, since I assumed that everybody would chime in with a different answer, and the resulting bucket of advice would be more than adequate. However, it appears that very few people are allowing for the possibility that the friendship can be maintained.

Princess chose Rice largely because of the ties to Houston she developed when we lived there, which at this point, was 12-18 years ago. She still gets together regularly with the friends she made when we lived there. They also got together every couple of years from the time we left, through visits either to Chicago or Houston.

I guess my point is that if the kids really want to maintain ties, as long as their parents are able and willing to support them getting together, then friendships can be maintained at that age, even over a long distance.

Icky Thump 11-30-2008 07:19 PM
Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by viet_mom (Post 372731)
No. She's 6. Confident, sweet and well-behaved kid but can't seem to concentrate enough in order to learn letters, phonics, etc. Growth issues another reason why I don't want to try meds (they decrease appetite) besides fear of messing with her chemistry b/c she's so happy and secure.
Share your concerns. Try running.

Diane_Keaton 11-30-2008 09:26 PM
Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Icky Thump (Post 372734)
Try running.
Running what? For President? I think that's for the PB.

Gattigap 11-30-2008 09:42 PM
Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diane_Keaton (Post 372735)
Running what? For President? I think that's for the PB.

I wondered about that too, but I think Icky means run the kid. Tire her out, focus becomes easier? Something like that.

Penske_Account 11-30-2008 10:52 PM
Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gattigap (Post 372736)
I wondered about that too, but I think Icky means run the kid. Tire her out, focus becomes easier? Something like that.
Yes. First year of year round swim team is working wonders for focus and discipline.

Atticus Grinch 12-01-2008 01:47 AM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by taxwonk (Post 372733)
I've refrained from commenting, since I assumed that everybody would chime in with a different answer, and the resulting bucket of advice would be more than adequate. However, it appears that very few people are allowing for the possibility that the friendship can be maintained.

Princess chose Rice largely because of the ties to Houston she developed when we lived there, which at this point, was 12-18 years ago. She still gets together regularly with the friends she made when we lived there. They also got together every couple of years from the time we left, through visits either to Chicago or Houston.

I guess my point is that if the kids really want to maintain ties, as long as their parents are able and willing to support them getting together, then friendships can be maintained at that age, even over a long distance.
The reason I predict the relationship will become lopsided if they're pen pals is that although they are both 7 or so, Friend is a bit behind in reading and writing, while Eldest Grinch is pretty logorrheic. (Surprised, right?) The kid writes little illustrated books for special occasions. It would kill me to see him spend hours writing to Friend and then get a misspelled sentence or two in return.

Then again, that's an important life lesson right there, too. I'm probably being selfish in trying to spare him disappointment. And it's certainly no justification for saying "Eh, don't bother to write" if they do decide to move.

Diane_Keaton 12-01-2008 10:06 AM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372738)
It would kill me to see him spend hours writing to Friend and then get a misspelled sentence or two in return.
This is how I feel when Hank responds to my long, thoughtful posts.

Penske_Account 12-01-2008 01:14 PM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diane_Keaton (Post 372739)
This is how I feel when Hank responds to my long, thoughtful posts.
That's why I put him on ignore long ago. Amongst lots of other reasons, as well.

Sidd Finch 12-01-2008 03:16 PM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LessinSF (Post 372721)
So does non-symptomatic death in the middle of the night. And brain aneurisms in 28-year olds. And other death. Maybe we can all live forever. More and more people on the planet, never dying, forever consuming happily ever after.
Yes, because that would spare us the incredible difficulty of having to occasionally express sympathy towards friends when people close to them die -- a challenge so monumental that some people, when faced with it, choose to be assholes instead.

Sidd Finch 12-01-2008 03:20 PM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372738)
The reason I predict the relationship will become lopsided if they're pen pals is that although they are both 7 or so, Friend is a bit behind in reading and writing, while Eldest Grinch is pretty logorrheic. (Surprised, right?) The kid writes little illustrated books for special occasions. It would kill me to see him spend hours writing to Friend and then get a misspelled sentence or two in return.

Then again, that's an important life lesson right there, too. I'm probably being selfish in trying to spare him disappointment. And it's certainly no justification for saying "Eh, don't bother to write" if they do decide to move.
It's an important lesson and worth trying, if your kids wants to do so.

Maybe he'll realize that the misspelled sentence or two that he gets in return is not an indication that his friend doesn't miss him too, but that it's all his friend is really able to do, lacking your son's talents. It's the thought that counts, and all that.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Diane_Keaton 12-01-2008 08:08 PM
Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidd Finch (Post 372753)
Yes, because that would spare us the incredible difficulty of having to occasionally express sympathy towards friends when people close to them die -- a challenge so monumental that some people, when faced with it, choose to be assholes instead.
This was perfect. Thank you.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 12-10-2008 12:39 PM
Backpack Child Carriers
 
Anyone have any recommendations? I've been looking at the Kelty FC 2.0.

Cletus Miller 12-10-2008 12:45 PM
Re: Backpack Child Carriers
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 373632)
Anyone have any recommendations? I've been looking at the Kelty FC 2.0.
These are awesome. I believe the model we have is the stallion.

Flinty_McFlint 12-10-2008 01:46 PM
Re: Backpack Child Carriers
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane? (Post 373632)
Anyone have any recommendations? I've been looking at the Kelty FC 2.0.
Oh, to be young, with a single young child and such ambition. I think I almost remember those times. Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold.


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