Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Um, it's not my birthday . . .

I mean, hoo boy! I can't believe I'm turning 30.

So back to my original question - now that we have the photogenic copyeditor on board, who shall I be?

Sheesh. I jumped him at the airport, draged him home, had sex with him (him on top, I think), fed him, had more sex with him (me on top, mostly), sort of fell asleep, woke up delighted to find him fucking me at some point in the middle of the night, dozed some more, woke up and blew him, lounged in bed some more, experimented with a side position that worked rather well, rolled out of bed and took him for food, showed him my favorite piece of art in Houston, took him home and fucked him, sat around the living room listening to music, and went back to bed for more sex. That was the first 24 hours.

Coltrane was right about setting records. My inner thighs are sore, his abs are sore, but we're not as old as we thought we were.

No. It looks like you need to move up a level. Whips, chains and ballcocks.

ETA: ballcocks? Am I having him dress up as a plumber? I meant ball gag.

Not Gwen Stefani, that bitch.

Any advice?
 

A massage is about the only thing that can cure that. And drinks. I haven't done that in years, but I used to do it a good bit in college (sleeping on shitty beds) and recall the kink in the neck would stick with me for about a week sometimes.

If you belong to a gym, try lifting some weights with the affected muscles/ligaments. That seems to help me sometimes when I get stiffness in a joint.

The extremely hot but grammatically challenged writer?

Any advice?
 

I'm trying to visualize Fringey performing weight exercises with her neck.

Not free weights, I would hope.

Any advice?
 

It's kind of in my shoulder. Or where my neck hits my shoulder. Waaaaaaaaah. I can't turn my head (well, I can, but it hurts). I can't drink out of a can like a normal human -- I have to use a STRAW.

Oh the humanity, etc.

I suggest everyone buy stock in ibuprofen.

Any advice?
 

In lieu of alcohol before lunch, try a handful of motrin.

Any advice?
 

I've had about 10 since 3 am.

Any advice?
 

Do you have a warm compress?

Any advice?
 

Good suggestion. Or can you go to the drugstore and get either a regular heating pad or those therma-pad things? I get this a lot, and I think in my case it's a pinched nerve. The best remedy is heat + mild muscle relaxant + time.