LawTalkers - Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
So, Friday night I get together with some sorority sisters and eventually we hook up with Commando Boy and some of his friends at a local bar that I have been to all of once before. Guess who else is at the bar: the ex Mr. Kiss. Nice. Truly fantastic. Of all the bars, why did you have to walk into mine.

Yada, yada, yada I proceed to become severely intoxicated and invite people over for an afterbar. Guess what I forgot? My keys. What to do, what to do. I KNOW!!!!! I will ask Commando Boy to break in! So he does!!!! Then we have a loud afterbar! It takes until 7 p.m. the next day to get the door fixed!!!!

My neighbors really hate me. They really, really hate me.

I. AM. AWESOME.

It must be your spirit.

TM

ThurgreedMarshall

06-06-2005 08:14 PM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
I weigh more than people usually think I do, too. It used to be because I was muscular, but now it's just ... because.

Do any of you people really think you weigh more than people usually think you do? Everyone guesses low. I don't care who they are.

Next you people will be saying things like:

"Gee, I'm much older than people usually think I am."

or

"I'm much, much less attractive, engaging and cool than people on the board who've met me usually post that I am."

TM (Yeah, I left myself wide open, but I'm looking forward to some good ones)

notcasesensitive

06-06-2005 08:19 PM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
"I'm much, much less attractive, engaging and cool than people on the board who've met me usually post that I am."

Well, I do sometimes have bad hair days. I am at least as cool and engaging as people have posted that I am on the boards, but living up to the Pretty Lady press releases is a bitch.

paigowprincess

06-06-2005 08:24 PM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Do any of you people really think you weigh more than people usually think you do? Everyone guesses low. I don't care who they are.

Next you people will be saying things like:

"Gee, I'm much older than people usually think I am."

or

"I'm much, much less attractive, engaging and cool than people on the board who've met me usually post that I am."

TM (Yeah, I left myself wide open, but I'm looking forward to some good ones)

Or, I give much much worse blow jobs than people tell me I do?

Hank Chinaski

06-06-2005 08:47 PM

I dig rock and roll music.

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
True. In my defense, I was just using the ClearChannel Infinity MegaCorp conglomorate's lingo. Their "oldies" station plays the late 50s/early 60s songs.

and if you're wearing Levi's relaxed fit you don't still really take a 34.

SlaveNoMore

06-06-2005 08:52 PM

Wide Load

Quote:

paigowprincess
I am not an "ass lady"...

Funny. Your work colleagues call you the the "big ass lady."*

*actually, they say huge

FKA ???

06-06-2005 09:52 PM

Wide Load

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Funny. Your work colleagues call you the the "big ass lady."*

*actually, they say huge

From the foto-archives of that magical night when you first met and made the love, it looks like that huge-ass was what attracted you to her:

http://badgas.co.uk/lynndie/fat_ass_thailand.jpg

futbol fan

06-06-2005 10:01 PM

Can I get an A-men???

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I'd write something nasty back, but I had to come in for like 5 hours on Saturday (if you can believe it) and I didn't get my regular nap, so go ahead and insult yourself.

TM

Have you gotten so old and ornery that you can't even recognize a tribute post when you see one, doofus?

futbol fan

06-06-2005 10:03 PM

Can I get an A-men???

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
What happened to that poor guy's forehead?

I think I photoshopped a giant open sore onto his face by accident (or, as I prefer to say when in client meetings, "on accident").

Hank Chinaski

06-06-2005 10:14 PM

Can I get an A-men???

Quote:

Originally posted by ironweed
I think I photoshopped a giant open sore onto his face by accident (or, as I prefer to say when in client meetings, "on accident").

mine was posted during a commercial- any heterosexual male who is looking at this right now isn't. nttawwt

str8outavannuys

06-07-2005 02:09 AM

From the Things I Did Not Need To Know About BS file

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
That saw was made up by guys with little dicks.

If I had a freakishly large hog, I'd let the world know. Shit, I'd go to St. Barts and stroll down the nude beach like one of those "Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers" comic characters, smiling behind my sunglasses, shit eating grin on my face, all but saying "

No you wouldn't. It'd just make you more sure of yourself, which in turn would affect your speech and behavior in various ways. And you might send a picture of it to leagl or her successor so as to show off.

str8outavannuys

06-07-2005 02:25 AM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Frank Beard just has a mustache.

In other music news, is anyone buying the new Oasis/White Stripes/Coldplay albums that came out today?

They come out tomorrow, and no, right away, and probably.

Atticus Grinch

06-07-2005 03:37 AM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Frank Beard just has a mustache.

Meanwhile, Frank Black is white, and I have reason to believe Dr. Frank-N-Furter was not in fact a doctor.

I'm starting to think these people are unworthy of the name "Frank."

Not Bob

06-07-2005 09:58 AM

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya...

Quote:

I'm actually younger than people think I am.* It's pretty depressing when I think about it. Thanks, TM.

*In real life, that is. On the internet, I am old, but also rich, so it evens out.

sebastian_dangerfield

06-07-2005 10:12 AM

The best compliment ever

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Do you enjoy the song "Mr. Jones and Me"?

I think the Counting Crows are the most pretentious, untalented pile of garbage vomitted onto rock radio in the last decade. What kind of a band puts out a double live record as its third release? Their singer is a buffoon. The fake wail, the dreadlocks, the overwraught Bob Dylan-meets-the-Samples lyrics. Shit, from start to finish. I have been forced to listen to that shit band by each every one of my wife's friends, and some of my own. They're the only band I actually shut off in front of the listener and openly ridicule people about. If I could, I'd throw out the goddamned cds. I'll listen to Phish, Coldplay, disco, bad 80s music, anything.... But never, ever, will I endure a CC song.

Its like they let some bloated high school student who'd listened to American Prayer and Blood on the Tracks a few dozen too many times front a bar band.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to assorting my comic books... We open in ten minutes.

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