Oakland
 

The fan that threw beer at Giambi got the book thrown at him.

"The fan, identified by The Associated Press as Eric Anduri of Lafayette, Calif., will face multiple criminal charges for tossing the brew. He was arrested, spent Saturday night in jail and was charged with battery, public intoxication and throwing objects on the field, an A's official said."

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/st...p-265255c.html

Boston should learn that this is how you deal with a fan who makes contact with a player.

TM

Bill Walton report
 

So this horrible game between the Pacers and Pistons Friday night has Bill Walton. The Pistons are playing bad but a big part of it was the Pacer defense. In the middle of the 3rd Quarter Detroit had 38 points. i can't remember a team being held to that low a score ever- and Bill Walton's thoughts?

This idiot was criticizing the Pacer's defense. Can't somebody at the network see how much of an ass this guy is and tell him to stop with the idiotic criticism? I know, the '78 Trailblazers would have held 'em to 35 points, but no one wants to hear it.

Bill Walton report
 

He and Stuart Scott should host a gameshow on ESPN at three o'clock in the morning and should be removed from the television screen during all other hours. If someone said I could fire one of those two or Larry Merchant, I wouldn't know what to do.

TM

PS -- Is Scott's eye getting lazier? One if half-closed (from what?) and one is glass, right? Or is it the half-closed one that is glass?

Rejoice
 

Nothing says "fun" quite like the tug-of-war between the Dormant Commerce Clause and the 21st Amendment. I still think your scenario would be seen as a violation of the former.

Rejoice
 

Speaking of dormant...



The Will Ferrell hosted SNL did not live up to expectations. Are you trying to tell me that Norm MacDonald wasn't available to play Burt Reynolds/Turd Ferguson?

Rejoice
 

I wanna party with YOU!

(Rational basis = the state needs alcohol sales to be conducted face-to-face only, to ensure adult use.)

Rejoice
 

This says more negatively about you than 100 "where can I get a writing sample" posts.

Rejoice
 

I just finished reading the SNL oral history book (forget the exact title "Live From New York" or something) -- given the way that NBC treated Norm (the dude running the network had a blood lust for his head), I'm guessing he had zero interest in making an appearance.

Fascinating book. Who knew that Ben Stiller was a big enough prick to back out of hosting the second live show when they went back on the air after 9/11? Reese Witherspoon can do it, but you can't, Ben? Jerk.

Bill Walton report
 

I've been baying for Bill Walton's blood for years, the fucking knob that he is. If you're ever concerned that your kid is listening to Dead bootlegs and might be experimenting with pot, make them sit down and watch Walton at work. Scared fucking straight.

And Larry "Don't I Remind You Of Howard Cosell, Just A Little Bit? Please?" Merchant, another useless prick, should finally get the postmatch left uppercut he's been begging for for years. That I would pay $50 to see.

Rejoice
 

You seem to be getting a bit complacent on the avatar front. Could you please get your wife started on the following project:

The various avatars should fade into one another on a continuous loop a la Michael "McCauley Doesn't Do It For Me" Jackson's Black or White video.

I'm not a big fan of the moving avatars, but that would be cool. For like 5 minutes at least. 1, 2, 3 ... Go!

Rejoice
 

This really sucks. Y'all are going to drive up the prices of California wine now.

Asshats For $500
 

Didn't know, but could easily have guessed if the question was asked in a Jeopardy! format.

Asshats For $500
 

I think you mean "had been," not "was."

Yes, I'm pissy that lunch has been delayed indefinitely because I didn't get out while the getting was good because I was on the phone with a braying east coast lawyer* -- why do you ask?

*She's great, her advice is great, but ugh! The accent!

Asshats For $500
 

I saw the John Belushi Biography the other day. Enjoyed the little swipe at Chevy Chase that made the cut - Penny Marshall basically saying that Chevy was cute but lacked charisma, and was therefore not all that funny (in comparison to John, of course). I doubt Chevy keeps a copy of that SNL book around his house for reading in his spare time.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

I've always found Stiller funny in small doses (Reality Bites=good, Zoolander=not), and he seemed to me from what I read like he was a decent enough person in real life. So I was definitely shocked by learning it -- especially since he's a NYer, all y'all pulled together back then, even Giulianni became nicer, etc.

The book is pretty good reading, by the way. Buy it via the lawtalkers amazon.com link.

Asshats For $500
 

Whiff!

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

I always thought he was a whiny little prick, and that this truth about his character was the only reason that anyone could find the treatment he got in Meet the Parents funny.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

Off Ty[son]'s corner, chick! Or not. Whatev.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

Probably hard to believe given your interaction with all the brilliant, warm-hearted and funny New Yorkers on this board (the real losers we punted to California), but there are still plenty of self-important B-listers stalking our streets. As for Giuliani's disposition, I am reminded of this quote:

"And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company."

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

Aren't you pregnant chicks supposed to be filled with universal love or the milk of human kindness or something? Damn.

Spooky
 

Have you apologized to Phil yet? He showed you.

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

Well, I do live in a red state. Them coastal sophisitcated elitists like Tyrone are normally years ahead of me in this sort of thing. I feel quite proud to be only a few months behind him.

eta: Uh, wait, was that March '04 or '05? Whatever (sigh). Anyway, a prize for the cat or chick who can id the re line source.

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

Hmm. How much is "a few" in a red state?

Book recommendations
 

Incidentally, so is Freakonomics, which I'm enjoying greatly at the moment. Sort of sorry that it isn't a collection of Levitt's actual articles, but it's still good fun.

And, I understand that, soon, we will be able to do all our direct internet wine buying through the Amazon link, too.

Rejoice
 

Come on. He played the cowbell for you and everything!
Ingrate.

When's RP's Baby Shower
 

It might take a few years before the tot can actually enjoy it, but I was thinking about getting the little zygote this:


http://www.engadget.com/entry/1771212788933189/

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

Are you kidding? Mama Bear wants to banish assholes from her corner of the world before before the little angel cub's arrival.

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

Ahem. Saw that when I clicked on ncs's second link. What can I say?

Rejoice
 

Blue State / Red State split -- blues include the wine producing states, the internet worshipping states, and the states where anything goes.

I view this as a bellweather issue for the next Presidential race.

Rejoice
 

Chile, Spain, France.

California wines are way overpriced and overhyped already.

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

Well, let us know how that works out for you.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

Stiller=unfunny, untalented assjack only in show business because he sucked dick and swallowed some of the right people. But at least the American Public recognizes this as his addition to a movie is a guarantee for a flop.

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

I've only got five months, but I'll do what I can.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

Are you alleging incest here? Because I am pretty sure that some portion of his success is related to his last name.

Question
 

Would it be too weird if I sent my husband a happy anniversary card? It's this weekend. We were just talking on the phone and our anniversary came up and he sounded all sad. I have a feeling it's a Bad Idea, but I still like him and everything and hate it when he sounds sad.

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

Please send banished assholes north and/or east, not south or west.

Thanks!

Question
 

Why not just get together and do something fun together (e.g., eat cake) without specifically referencing the actual anniversary? Because sending an anniversary card, in light of the divorce, does seem like not the best idea. At least, not if you want him to be happier. Unless you are sure you have one that will make him laugh.

ETA that is sweet, and I think I feel verklempt (sp?), except I'm not sure, because I'm not sure what it means.

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

2 on that one.

Question
 

Cue the sex in Haiti didn't wear a rubber line.

Bad Idea.

A note from you to cheer him up might be okay, but please please please don't send it to him in an anniversary card. Please. And be careful about writing anything that might send him a mixed message. Just take my word on all of this.

Please.

Question
 

I would send him a card or go out for drinks or dinner or something. I should clarify, I mean that I would do something to help cheer him up but not specifically reference the anniversary.