| sebastian_dangerfield |
11-14-2012 01:09 PM |
Re: Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!
Quote:
Originally Posted by barely_legal
(Post 474691)
He is 25 and I'm pretty sure has had more sexual partners than I have. We didn't bathe together since he's 13 years younger than me but I did change many of his diapers. I'm pretty sure that experience did not prepare me to choose a sex toy for him.
Here's a fun little story about my brother for context, I guess. A few years ago, I was visiting my mother for the weekend when my brother still lived at home. My mom and I woke him up in the morning to tell him we were going shopping and remind him to take the dog out while we were gone. When he opened his door to talk to us, we saw a girl in his bed. My mother apparently was totally cool with that, but upon seeing the girl, loudly asked my brother, "oh, who is that? Is she the dancer?"
Later, I asked my mother if she knew the girl, and she said that she'd been around the house before hanging out with my brother but she thought they were just friends. I asked my mother what kind of dancer she was, thinking maybe she was a ballet dancer or a salsa instructor or something (give me a break, he's my baby brother). She said she didn't know, but in kind of an annoyed way. I said, then how do you know she's a dancer? She replied "I guess she dances with poles, is that what you wanted to know?" This was my mother's way of informing me that the young lady in question was a stripper.
My brother is also 5'3" and weighed about 100 lbs soaking wet at the time. He's pretty much a delicate little flower. A delicate little flower who bangs strippers.
|
Twenty-five years old and needs a toy to pleasure himself properly?
You need to sit him down like Christopher Walken did that kid in Pulp Fiction, and drop some science:
"I don't have your parts, but I have a few male friends. Many, some would say. And to a man, it's understood: You don't need a fifty dollar motorized semen-rag to give you a proper hand job. If you can't give yourself the best handjob available... If you can't, as Chris Rock claims (and many of my male friends will attest outside earshot of their better halves), give yourself a 'jerk' that's better than sex with nothing more than the palm and digits you already have, you've got issues, kid. So no -- no Fleshlight, at least not from me...
Here's Infinite Jest. You'll practice masturbation technique a lot trying to get through this." |
