Pronunciation pet peeve
 

If you're going to pronounce a foreign word in the foreign way, for heaven's sake do it right. Otherwise you should just take a cue from the English and pronounce it according to our rules.

tm

It's a plague.
 

A post on That Other Board is entitled:

Plaguerism in a patent application

Why yes, I, too, would avoid writing patent applications like the plague.

But if forced to do so, I would plagiarize stuff written by semi-literate techies-turned-patent-lawyers.

Ya gotta keep 'em separated
 

Somewhere in Joisey:

http://www.sp00kachu.org/images/seperate.jpg

Where's the . . .
 

The method generally starts with frozen pituitary glands of hogs, sheep, beef or other animals, including whales.

In re Fisher, 427 F.2d 833, 834 (C.C.P.A. 1970)

p(moo)c

Where's the . . .
 

Oh, BROTHER !!

That's recockulous.

What's the plural of "loincloth"?
 

"Loincloths" or "loinclothes"?

Need help with this a.s.a.p. for a brief I'm writing.

Language Police for School Texts
 

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Oh heck: Hell hath no place in American primary and high school textbooks.

But then again you can't find anyone riding on a yacht or playing polo in the pages of an American textbook either. The texts also can't say someone has a boyish figure, or is a busboy, or is blind, or suffers a birth defect, or is a biddy, or the best man for the job, a babe, a bookworm, or even a barbarian.

All these words are banned from U.S. textbooks on the grounds that they either elitist (polo, yacht) sexist (babe, boyish figure), offensive (blind, bookworm) ageist (biddy) or just too strong (hell which is replaced with darn or heck). God is also a banned word in the textbooks because he or she is too religious.

To get the full 500-word list of what is banned and why, consult "The Language Police," a new book by New York University professor of education Dianne Ravitch, a former education official in President George H.W. Bush's administration and a consultant to the Clinton administration.

Full story here:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/EDUCATION/05...eut/index.html

"Blind" is offensive? Is "deaf" offensive, too?
Those words simply describe physical conditions, and unlike, for example, "retarded," do not imply a mental or intellectual limitation that may not be accurate.

Do you really have to say sight-impaired or hearing-impaired?

And what if you are writing a history book and including the tragic story of Diana, Princess of Wales as part of a larger discussion fo the role of the British Monarchy in modern life. Do you have to write, "Prior to her death, Diana vacationed with Dodi Fayed on his big fancy boat; this vacation is believed to mark the beginning of their ill-fated romance. Diana was, by all accounts, happier with Dodi than she ever was with the Prince of Wales, who once humiliated her by inviting his mistress to an event where he rode a horse while trying to hit a ball with a stick."

On second thought, I'm sure you can't say mistress.

I'm still not over Diana.

Lexicology Lesson
 

http://www.awbg09053.pwp.blueyonder....ash/fword.html

(Spree: Discussion of the f-word. Turn your volume down.)

Technical Difficulties
 

Hosts actually possess two fungible addresses: a numeric "IP" address such as 123.456.123.12, and a alphanumeric "domain name" such as microsoft.com, with greater mnemonic potential.

MTV Networks v. Curry, 867 F. Supp. 202, 204 (S.D.N.Y. 1994)

Poor Judge McKenna.

Technical Difficulties
 

I blame West.

Learned Hand(writing)
 

Penmanship: A Dying Art?

AP - SAN MATEO, Calif., June 9, 2003.
. . .
Handwriting experts fear that the wild popularity of e-mail, instant messages and other electronic communication, particularly among kids, could erase cursive within a few decades.
. . .

Read the entire article at: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/...in557572.shtml



It's a shame that penmanship is becoming obsolete. Cursive is the way to go if you want to rip apart^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H provide constructive comments on someone's draft with flair -- there's no substitute for bright-red, flowing chicken scratch seared into a page.

Learned Hand(writing)
 

Despite proper training, badgering, and pleading from my teachers in grade school, I never use cursive. Never have, never will. I can write in cursive if I have to, but I've gotten this far without, so it's not something I'm looking to pick up anytime soon.

-TL

An etymological interlude of astronomic proportions . . .
 

. . . presented by Prof. Volokh, in which he posits, inter alia, that "homosexuals are apparently from Uranus": http://volokh.blogspot.com/2003_05_0...html#200258254

Like a Virgin
 

Surprisingly, the top 100 words found in Madonna's lyrics are devoid of any overt references to the prurient interests -- rather, they bear a close resemblance to the 100 words most frequently used by children in their writing.

Repurposeable, Value-Added Knowledge Capital?
 

I hear their next project is an Atticus translator . . .

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...fe_language_dc

(Spree: BS-removing software)

Like a Virgin
 

Who would have guessed there'd be 69 references to "Jimmy" in the Madonna concordance?

An occasion for irrational exuberance.
 

Greenspan has an 'enlarged prostitute'.[spree: no pics, unfortunately.]

Weird Al has competition
 

As set forth in footnote 8 of Amgen, Inc. v. Hoechst Marion Roussel, Inc., 126 F. Supp. 2d 69, 82 (D. Mass. 2001):

[W]ell known strategies for claim construction have, in fact, reached the point of ridicule in the patent subculture as this inciteful poem (to be sung to the tune of "Camelot") exemplifies:

A law was made 200 years ago here
Grant patents, help promote inventive thought
Today the system's thriving and our credo
Is claim-a-lot

We push the envelope,
expand the boundaries
Create a circle from a tiny dot
Our product's forged with words
and not in foundries
We claim a lot

(Bum bum, etc.)

Claim-a-lot (claim-a-lot)
I know it sounds a bit bizarre
Lord, we claim-a-lot (oh yes, we claim-a-lot)
Stretch out those claims so far

Though prior art may set some limitations
Restricts our flights of fancy, clever thought
Our efforts, not for naught
Results, so boldly wrought
Construct our patent juggernauts
By claiming quite a lot.

Kramer, Levin, Naftalis & Frankel LLP, Claim-a-Lot, in Pamphlet for N.Y. Intellectual Property Law Association 78th Annual Dinner (Mar. 24, 2000).

p(One of these days, I should attend the annual NYIPLA Judge's Dinner -- I'm missing out on quality entertainment, apparently)c

The Truth About Plagiarism (As told by Richard Posner)
 

Subtitled: It's usually a minor offense and can have social value

[Spree: Not suitable for instilling prophylactic terror on the subject of plagiarism.]

Pet peeve
 

Does anyone else hate the word "herein" with a passion?

"Defendant filed the motion herein on June 10, 2003..."

Blech!

Pet peeve
 

Yes, but only when it is used in a sentence in which it appears gratuitously therein.

Pet peeve
 

Hehe... yes, that one gives me the shivers too. I can't think of more useless words in the English language than "herein" and "therein."

Always a good order from His Honor
 

"Jose Manuel Miguel Xaviar Gonzales, in a few short weeks it will be spring. The snows of winter will flee away. The ice will vanish. And the air will become soft and balmy. In short, Jose Manuel Miguel Xaviar Gonzales, the annual miracle of the years will awaken and come to pass, but you won't be there."

" The rivulet will run its soaring course to the sea. The timid desert flowers will put forth their tender shoots. The glorious valleys of this imperial domain will blossom as the rose. Still, you won't be here to see."

"From every tree top some wild woods songster will carol his mating song. Butterflies will sport in the sunshine. The busy bee will hum happy as it pursues its accustomed vocation. The gentle breeze will tease the tissels of the wild grasses, and all nature, Jose Manuel Miguel Xaviar Gonzales, will be glad but you. You won't be here to enjoy it because I command the sheriff or some other officers of the county to lead you out to some remote spot, swing you by the neck from a knotting bough of some sturdy oak, and let you hang until you are dead."

"And then, Jose Manuel Miguel Xaviar Gonzales, I further command that such officer or officers retire quickly from your dangling corpse, that the vultures may descend from the heavens upon your filthy body until nothing shall remain but bare, bleached bones of a cold-blooded, copper-colored, blood-thirsty, throat-cutting, chili-eating, sheep-herding, murdering son-of-a-bitch."

ISSAC PARKER
District Judge
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT, New Mexico Territory
1883

Always a good order from His Honor
 

Until I read the last line and the date, I figured the guy was probably a drug mule busted with a couple of kilos stuffed under the spare tire.

Always a good order from His Honor
 

I think the Sentencing Guidelines no longer permit enhancements for being copper-colored, chili-eating, or sheep-herding.

Always a good order from His Honor
 

1 of those 3 is effectively still in play, no?

Always a good order from His Honor
 

That was the beauty of the prose - an ever-increasing level of the insult - from copper-colored to chili eating (low brow) to sheep-herding (extremly low brow) to just downright mean - son-of-a-bitch.

Always a good order from His Honor
 

Correct. Chili eating is a capital offense - especially when it is the Cincinnati variety.

That pesky two-letter superscript above the "e"
 

Cut-and-Paste Haste
 

As seen on http://www.nytimes.com on JUNE 28, 2003 at 11:32 AM ET at the top of the page next to the totally-random-but-obligatory-photo-of-the-day/hour/minute:

Missing U.S. Soldiers Found Dead North of Baghdad
By EDMUND L. ANDREWS 11:17 AM ET
The two deaths are the latest confirmed in an accelerating series of attacks that have left at least a half-dozen American soldiers dead and many more wounded in just the past week.
• Dispatches:Dispatches: Iraqi Saboteurs' Goal
• Pentagon Delays Releasing 5 Syrians
• Complete Coverage: After the War

(Left uncorrected for at least 30 minutes.)

Leagl Status
 

leagleaze's status line announces:

Justice Kennedy RULES!

Further significance can be added, I think, thusly:

Justice Kennedy (OVER)RULES!

At last, plain English in an SEC filing . . .
 

. . . which, unfortunately, serves no useful purpose except as a warning to all junior corporate associates:

http://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/da...it4_050803.txt

(hint: Check out the very last page -- one cannot proofread enough.)

Spelling is not rocket science
 

http://www.digikitten.com/playhousev...ketscience.jpg

It's Commencement 2003 at my alma mater and the geeks* are showing the world that they can spell!

p(Aww . . . it's even properly punctuated!)c

*A bunch of Aeronautics/Astronautics majors. Frankly, the lay populace has it all wrong -- "rocket science" is NOT that hard.** It's just mind-numbingly BORING. And, upon graduation, your job prospects suck. This is why we have so few "rocket scientists."

** The most conceptually difficult disciplines are those physics subfields with the weird names (e.g., The physics of heavy flavors) -- there is a positive correlation between the weirdness of the name and the level of conceptual difficulty involved.

Adopt A Cabbit
 

For the month of July, the ASPCA is torn between Peter and Tom, apparently. (Check out the title of the webpage as shown in the window border.)

p(shelter cats, bunnies . . . same difference)c

Time to hire a copy editor
 

In the June issue of the Oregon State Bar Bulletin, in a "Brief" about a scoring error on the MBE:

"The affected parties were notified in May, and the supreme court is yet to announce a final decision."

"Unaffected are the essay portions on the bar exams; which are scored by state bar examiners."

Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy!

tm

Well, it *is* USA Today, but still
 

From a McPaper article about the Bachelorette:

"Rehn, a physical therapist, received $15,000 for the cost of living expenses and personal trainer fees during her stint on The Bachelorette, which ended in February when she chose Sutter, a poetry-writing firefighter from Vail, Colo., from among 25 suiters. "

Arrgh. Maybe the writer and copy editor were thrown by Ryan's last name of Sutter.

Time to hire a copy editor
 

How do you know those people weren't affected? You know how wannabe lawyers are!

"Timmyism to the extreme!" Not.
 

I think this forum needs a new motto because "Timmyism to the extreme!" is too much of an exaggeration.

I propose the following motto: Bored Timmies' board.


p(Notice the apostrophic expression and the homophonous pair -- these are, perhaps, two of the most notorious sources of grammatical errors (and Timmyism) in the English language.)c