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Translation: As horrifying a thought as this is, I agree with Penske.

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Her sisters are indeed hot...hey, wait a minute. Get the hell away from my sister-in-law, Wonk. In my time of need and everything. Damnit.

Actually, the whole thing has kind of turned me off sex. I was even trying to envision Sunny going to work with no underwear, and ABBA in her candy, and nothing. I'm still absorbing it all, though, so I'm hoping this will pass.

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Do we know him?

Summer Fashion
 

Yard is fenced in and the only people with dogs nearby have very well trained animals (thank God, because one of them is a St. Bernard which probably outweighs me).

The feeling of grass between your toes is great. I couldn't imagine wearing shoes of any sort around my house or my property. I have friends who wear socks and shoes in their own homes, which just baffles me. Why? The feet need to breathe...

Oprah Question
 

I watched a Tivo of Oprah's show on the Aviator this weekend. She has on Leo and Scorsese and the actress who played Ava Gardner. It was really chopped up like they had too much tape and had to squeeze it in.

But anyway Leo is telling a story about when he went skydiving. His first chute failed. He tells this attempted funny story about what goes through his mind until he remembers he has a second chute- then it failed. He tells another attempted funny story about what he thought then. BUT then the tape pops to something else. they went way down this story line w/o having at least some reason why he didn't die.

Questions:
Is she a terrible interviewer- is it possible she didn't ask what happened, or is it horrible editing? I

Is it common that she would just leave something that major hanging in an interview?

Does anyone know how he lived- ever hear the story elsewhere?

Why wasn't this Leo story posted here- are we being well served by our celebrity news posters?

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Fuck someone. Anyone. Any moderately attractive woman you can find. You must do this to (a) even the playing field and (b) ease your nerves. Its not cheating for you to mess around now. You have a free pass. You also need some "strange" because you need a confidence boost. You can't negotiate the awkward waters you're about to face from a position of weakness or vulnerability.

Before you accuse her, empty the accounts. Its always best to have some mad money, and some leverage.

If you can't find a willing partner w/in a relatively short period of time, do a Vegas weekend. $2500 worth of hookers should put you in the right frame of mind.

Please Note: I do not, have not, and hopefully never will, patronize hookers. BUT, in a circumstance such as the one presented, immediate sex with random women is necessary.

PS: Some people will suggest counseling, immediate confrontation, etc... Thats all fine and dandy, but you and I both know that you can't really deal with this situation until you've evened the score...

Oprah Question
 

This is where I stopped reading.

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Translation: As horrifying a thought as this is, I too agree with Penske.

Oprah Question
 

Good. You should focus your non-work related reading on Sequels email. WTTW.

Oprah Question
 

Put a stamp on this one, Hanky.

Oprah Question
 

does this mean I mailed it in? Is mailing it in worse than phoning it in?

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Oh, Penske, you had already given this advice? Pardon my redundancy.

Of course I agree with that advice. Who on Earth wouldn't? Its just plain common sense.

Oh, and one more piece of advice for Cuckold. Don't start drinking heavily. Nothing is more pathetic than the guy who loses his SO and embarks on a woe-is-me bender of self destructive drinking and drugging. You should focus on destroying the offending SO, or just fogeting about her, not damaging yourself.

Summer Fashion
 

Particularly if you have a gut.

Summer Fashion
 

Gold star for you. My house is nice; my yard is mediocre. I find meticulous lawn care creepy. People who devote that much time to grass, and the opinions of others regarding their grass, are socially imbalanced. If you're obsessing over the dry spots near the sycamore tree or weeding the border of the driveway and lawn every three days, you need to get a fucking social life.

My house is not meticulous inside. Its always a work in progress because my wife buys antiques and thats a catch-as-catch-can way to cobble together your interior. But I like the change and confusion of having different pieces moving from room to room all the time as she gets new stuff. Gives the place some soul. When I get it finished, I'll get a cleaning lady. The last thing on earth I want to find myself bragging about is how sparkling I got the interior of my own home. Thats like bragging about how great a job you did waxing your own car.

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Pardon granted.


I would add the caveat that controlled drinking et al is okay in pursuit of revenge sex. As long as you don't let it get in the way of the primary objective.