Sad story
 

I would have preferred to respond to your earlier, even more pathetic and needy version of this post, but it was snatched away all untimely. For shame.

Sad story
 

My mother taught me not to boast, even as she confided that my penis is much larger than say Penske's, or Thurgreed's.

Sad story
 

I'd rather be a smaller-penised motherfucker than a larger-penised ownmotherfucker. Gross.

Thankfully, I'm a larger-penised SS'ssisterfucker.

Sad story
 

Whatever you do, do not drink the red punch in the trashcan.

Sad story
 

I second this nugget of wisdom from the most esteemed elder, and can only add this little caveat:

If you give a shit.

And if you indeed do give a shit about your performance on a chat board, I welcome you to stop wavering right now... Walk straight over to that WalMart, buy the .44 and place a softball sized hole in your head.

Sad story
 

Lesson learned.

Sad story
 

Uh, I don't have a sister. Are you fucking my brother?

Sad story
 

Oh no!

Sad story
 

It's funny when you joke about offing yourself, because we know you just don't give a fuck. But to suggest that PLF should give up the only thing in his barren, spent and joyless life that still gives him a fleeting memory of pleasure and shoot himself in the head is just irresponsible and dangerous.

Kill Reality
 

Has anyone watched this? If not, tune into a replay of the finale, which has the lowest moment in reality tv to date. Good stuff.

Sad story
 

You should see my appellate briefs. If I have sufficient time to edit, I've been able to force judges to try 8 or 9 times to figure out what I'm arguing.

The drafting sucked, but I thought I was clear and that's all that matters. Camo is one type of battle gear, and a soldier likely is told which type of battle gear to wear given the circumstances. If he wants to pretty-up, he can wear dress uniform, but that's not happening in the field. If he's getting really, PLF-style fancy, he can wear mess dress, also not for the field. And, he means he/she here.

Sad story
 

Looks like Penske and Hank are going to have to share the trunk space soon.

Sad story
 

Yes, but it would make for an interesting party.

Kill Reality
 

Objectively speaking, of course. Determinations of what exactly is "the lowest moment" in reality tv are different for different people.

TM

I Had A Dream
 

Ok, last night after walking my dog and listening to my iPod on "shuffle songs", I fell asleep and had a dream. The soundtrack to my dream was a song I hadn't heard in ages -- 21 Gun Salute by Soulcracker (VH1's Bands on the Run). -- It starts with the line "Relive the good times/cling to the past/with a 21 gun salute/and a flag flown at half mast/I can't take away the memory of the one that you loved last/But I can turn this picture into ash"

Anyways, during the dream, I was competing in a bass fishing tournament. But I didn't have a good rod and reel. All I had was a hose with a fish hook on the end. I was way behind and about to give up, when suddenly I felt that I had the bass-fishing equivalent of the golden snitch on my line. I pulled it up, and it was the size and appearance of my beloved dachsund/pappillon. I wrestled with it, and it bit me, and I tried to choke it, but then decided that I was being stupid, and let it go.

The next morning, I resumed listening to my shuffle mix while walking my dog, and the second song that came up (I did not reshuffle) was 21 Gun Salute by Soulcracker. Note that I have over 7000 songs on my iPod.

So Joseph, what do you make of this dream?