NFH SCOOP
 

He's morphing into a blonde Tim Curry.

I just finished the new Vanity Fair. Didn't read the article about Angelina because I don't give a flying fuck what she has to say, but she looks damn fine in the photos. To whoever even argued that Jennifer Aniston was in her league, you're fucking crazy. I'd give a pinky toe for one roll in the hay with her.

NFH SCOOP
 

Look, pretty boy, you sit on your pretty boy high horse, looking down at ugly people. Just wait until you get acid dumped all over your face and become ugly -- who will be holding the ugly stick then, hmmmmm????



P.S. I think the little lumps at the base of the pig head are meant to be feet, or something. Do you think the cake under it is chocolate cake or white cake?

Spooky
 

Like he needs an apology from me. The guy has just about the best life you could have.

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

Scary that I remember this, but it was a line spoken by Nick, Mallory's boyfriend on Family Ties, that went something like,

"I ain't sophisticated like Charles Bronson."

NFH SCOOP
 

Not to be a cake timmy, but clearly that is a cookie underneath the pig*. The only cake that would be so thin would be some form of European influenced flourless torte. Whoever created the pig-cake on top would not be looking at a flourless torte to compliment the rest. It would be inconsistant both calorically and as to taste (in all definitions).

I can't believe you don't realize this.

Edit: or perhaps as noted foil, but not a cake certainly. I wonder if Frigey is only impersonating having a cake jones.

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

Was the Justine Bateman poster between Meatloaf and Bonnie Tyler or on the back of the door?

NFH SCOOP
 

Or a bit or aorta or spinal column. I'm just saying...

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

We have a winner!

I recall it as something like "I ain't sophisticated and smart. I ain't no Charles Bronson!" It still cracks me up.

eta that a Google search says . . .

Nick: "I'm sorry I'm not the type of guy you want Mallory to go out with. You know, I ain't no Charles Bronson."

NFH SCOOP
 

Looks like foil-wrapped cardboard to me. Unless you mean the green frosting "grass", which is, well, green frosting.

Question
 

Will you be jumping out of the cake?

Question
 

The cake wasn't for you. It was for Fringey.

Just shut up and sing, "Happy Birthday," before she throws acid on you.

NFH SCOOP
 

Spoken with authority.

The [Sucky-Ass] Bachelor!
 

I only Wonk for prizes:

http://abc.go.com/primetime/bachelor...08_240x360.jpg

Question
 

Which head?

Question
 

Oh, its her birthday?

Happy birthday, Fringey.

I'd rather enjoy acid at the moment. I was thinking that a few weeks ago when I had taken the ecstacy. I like the E. Its fun, like a mild, happy, consistent low grade blow buzz, but it lacks the creatures-crawling-the-walls and "seeing sounds" quality of acid and mushrooms. I worry that the kids in college these days might not get the proper amount of hallucinations on this E stuff. They need to truly lose their marbles a few dozen times. While I think this E thing is wonderful for old sods like myself, I fear its raising a generation of kids who think a mild wiring and overall happy feeling is all that good recreational drugs can offer. And thats sad, because they can offer so much more...

Question
 

for my husband? No, I have been informed that would send mixed messages and would not be a good idea.

for anyone else? Maybe, if they are under 30 and have a large penis. Or over 30 and have a large bank account.

Question
 

So thats it... I'm suddenly over the hill. If my wife leaves me - which she should have done already 30 times - I will be unable to grab a hot younger chick. What if I look younger? I have a solid sized crank and a new modern haircut. The paycheck's allright and I'll never demand hummers when you're not in the mood...

Question
 

You obviously haven't reviewed her FB dossier lately, have you?

Question
 

I love to give hummers. That would never be an issue.

However, I'm sure you would be able to get a younger chick - it's an older re-spinsterized cougar like me that might not be interested. But that's probably fine with you. It's win/win.

Cambodian Lyin'
 

78. Topsy-Turvy
gs: Eddie Little Sky (headhunter #1) Roman Gabriel (headhunter #2) Allen Jaffe (headhunter #3)

Gilligan bumps his head and suddenly sees everything upside down. The Professor tries to help by brewing an antidote made of keptibora berry extract, but the antidote causes Gilligan to see double. After consuming more juice, he sees four of everything. Meanwhile, the island is invaded by three headhunters who slowly capture all of the other castaways. Gilligan saves the day by serving the headhunters lots and lots of keptibora berry extract, which causes them to see "hundreds" of castaways running toward them!


b: 14-Nov-1966 w: Elroy Schwartz d: Gary Nelson

NOTE: Roman Gabriel, who played headhunter #2, was an All-pro quarterback with the Los Angeles Rams at the time of his appearance on the show.

edited by Not Bob, who says: "hank, your wish is my command."

Cambodian Lyin'
 

Space fuck! I was saving that one.:( :(
plus i put them in italics- that's funny!

Cambodian Lyin'
 

You're right, italics are funny. (see?) I fixed it for you.

Question
 

I see 20 year old chicks on th train and think, "Damn... I'd love to tap that..." Then I hear them talk and think "If they could only breed them without vocal cords..." I shudder when I think about how stupid I sounded at 20.

I assume you're trawling for late 20s guys. I can't imagine it'd be easy to screw around with a low 20s cat. You could hit it a few times, but eventually, you'd have to talk to it for a while...

Cambodian Lyin'
 

STOP TERRIFYING ME!

Rasslin'
 

Further proof that colonialism is not per se a bad idea.

Question
 

Why is that?

Question
 

Crap. I'm on the cusp of all of these!*

*except for the bank account

I ain't no Charles Bronson!
 

That sounds like the Stupid World version of a line from a John Hiatt song.

The [Sucky-Ass] Bachelor!
 

Just wait until I show you what you've won.


Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I thought you said you would only do Wonk for prizes. My bad, sorry. Off to eBay.

Question
 

No. You HAD a large penis. Now I'm back in Detroit.

Rasslin'
 

Have you ketchupped enough yet to be embarassed for this small-minded remark?

Question
 

If you're my penis, please cross the border and say "hi" to Shelly from the Ukraine at the Million Dollar Saloon. She'll remember you.

The [Sucky-Ass] Bachelor!
 

Yay! Your sinuses will thank you!

Did you watch the (3 hour!) finale last night? Or 1 1/2 hours with Tivo. Thank god this season is over so I don't have to sit through that show anymore. When they were showing Charlie watching an episode with his friends, the guy sitting next to him is our good friend. That was his 30 seconds of fame, I guess. Glad I didn't blink.

Question
 

Million Dollar? That's the one featuring trannies right?

Question
 

Well, they do have the Robitussin. I hear it's quite a trip. Colors and everything.

Question
 

Don't get depressed. The good news is, at some point, they're ALL younger chicks.

Question
 

Hence the androgynous "Shelly".

Question
 

Did he go for your "reach around" move?

Question
 

Speaking of which, I just hears about a band called Dungeons and Drag Queens. That's not bad. I mean, it's no Blowjob Camels, but still...

The [Sucky-Ass] Bachelor!
 

No, I haven't seen it yet, but I already know who "won". Is the scuttlebutt from your friend that Charlie is still with the chosen one, or is he back together with his gf from before the show?

I've got it tivo'd but I'm not even sure I want to waste 1 1/2 hours fast forwarding through it. Is it worth it since I already know the ending?