Re: . . . and not even a banjo can save them now.
 

I'm good for about one of their tunes a week. Anymore than that and I start thinking about water towers.

Lazy Man's Request for Other Peoples' Work
 

I'm helping my daughter out on a claim against the State of Illinois. I know I can find discovery request forms online, but if someone has them at the press of a button, I would really appreciate some interrogatories and production requests for a slip and fall. If you happen to have ones you know comply with Illinois rules for an ice and snow case, I'd be in your debt for at least as long as it would take to buy you a corned beef sandwich and a beer at the Berghoff's side bar.

Top 20
 

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TM

Cheaters Never Win
 

Except when they do, of course. Tom Brady's 4 game suspension -- too long, too short or just right? I personally think that the best punishment of all for him is having those tweets by the equipment guys go public, making it clear that people who work with (for) him think he's a total douche.

Re: Cheaters Never Win
 

The NFL is a fucking joke. Who really cares what arbitrary "justice" they decide to mete out to the thugs and cheaters that populate the teams? Deciding whether Brady's plight is fair in comparison with, for example, that of Ray Rice is wasted brain cells. Speaking of wasting brain cells, isn't that a central tenet of the NFL business model?

Re: Emily Ratajkowski
 

Technically, everyone's natural state is naked. But most of us can improve on nature; she can't.

Re: Emily Ratajkowski
 

I knew someone would say this, but I thought it would Atticus.

Re: Cheaters Never Win
 

Tom Brady's agent has announced that his client, distraught, has impregnated an additional two supermodels.

Re: Emily Ratajkowski
 

I was trying to preempt him. I get a little uncomfortable when Atticus talks about nekkid people.

Re: Cheaters Never Win
 

There is a sizable and really extraordinarily loud group of pats fans in the area totally outraged by this. Generally, these are either people who will bloviate about anything or who need to get a life. Among the football fans who actually have a life, there seems to be a desire to just move on, think of it as something embarrassing that happened that maybe we can all just forget. However, I will be listening to the bloviaters for a while. They are the tea partiers of the sports world.

Everyone knows he's a painful douche, don't they? And his answer is simply, smugly, "Giselle."

Re: Cheaters Never Win
 

I knew he was a douche when I saw him wearing Uggs.

Also, Giselle is one of the least attractive supermodels ever. This means that she is still 1000x more attractive than everyone else, but if I had to rank supermodels, she would be in the bottom 5%.

Re: Cheaters Never Win
 

Tired descriptive, but it fits: Killer uniform, weak helmet.

Re: Emily Ratajkowski
 

"Robin Thicke and Pharrell were in that video? Which part?"

Re: Cheaters Never Win
 

2. Through the 80s and 90s, I was a huge Giants fan. I think that was the twilight of the NFL qualifying as an actual sport, as opposed to "sports entertainment" of a kind not too much unlike professional wrestling.

I don't think I've given a twentieth of a fuck about the NFL since 2000. And I don't feel the slightest loss.

(Fortunately, I'd always been more a fan of college ball anyway, and a huge Penn State fan. That's worked out really well for me.)

Re: . . . and not even a banjo can save them now.
 

Live, they are the shit. On every record since Evil Urges, they are shit.