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str8outavannuys 08-19-2005 11:44 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Speaking of, he has to be one of ESPN's most prized assets. One of the best. I could watch him, Gammons and Bob Ley over and over again. What happened to Dan Patrick? Banished to radio?

TM
I like Patrick much better on the radio. I especially like the extremely long running bit he's had with callers, where callers start every call saying their height and weight ("Hi Dan, 6'3", 225"), which is followed by a little "ding" sound-drop. Gets funnier and funnier the more you listen.

Not Bob 08-19-2005 11:44 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
And commas.
See above, missy. And commas are too expensive for a solo like me to throw around this place willy-nilly. I try to save them for paying clients.

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 11:44 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I openly ridicule these people to the wait staff in an attempt to lighten the mood, hoping to avoid the "Hey Rocko, piss in their soup" comments upon putting the order in.

TM
I find this concept of kitchen revenge rather bizarre. I have never in my life been worried that the cooks would spit in my food because of something my dining companion or I said or some request we made of the wait staff.* Someone who would do spit or sneeze in your food deliberately is a psychopath, and as Hank pointed out the conduct is unlikely to be connected to any "offense" committed by a specific diner. Besides, a lot of times the wait staff and the kitchen staff can't stand each other, so why would such comments from a server bear any weight, anyway?

If the server thinks you're a pain in the ass, it's far more likely she or he will avoid you, won't check to see if everything is okay, won't refill your drinks, will be brusque, etc.

*This is not to say that I have not been mortally embarrassed by someone else's conduct toward a server. Have I ever.

baltassoc 08-19-2005 11:45 AM

Interruptus Again
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Anyhoo, quick question on computer music. I do a decent amount of downloading songs and I'd like better sound quality than the wimpy (but not too bad) speakers that came with my Dell flat screen computer purchased about 2 years ago. I have an old crappy stereo and speakers in the front room but rather than upgrade that one, any thoughts on whether good speakers could be added to the computer in the bedroom? Basically, what do I need to make the computer the source of some good quality funk?
There are two levels here. You can get some really good quality sound from some of the computer speakers.

This set, for example (buy it on eBay, this is a great seller, and they have new stuff coming up all the time). My brother has a pair of these, and they're loud enough to be heard clearly at a medium sized party, but not loud enough to cover the sounds of monkey love.

If you want earthshattering bass for you funk, you are going to have to go with a real amp and real speakers. Hooking up the computer is no problem; you just need a sufficiently long cord with a stereo jack on one end (the computer end) and RCA plugs on the other.

ltl/fb 08-19-2005 11:46 AM

My friends know me so well.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
This article has been forwarded to me by at least six people today.

I pass it on to you.
Tell people to stop freaking sending it around. Sure-fire way to get the Christian conservatives into full outcry. Keep the whole thing hush-hush.

str8outavannuys 08-19-2005 11:46 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Apropos of this, the Not Bobette gave me the second season of the Dave Chappelle show on DVD for Father's Day. We watched an episode last night where he had a game show segment in which he asked real people (the ones I remember were a white female NYC cop, a white male African American history professor, a young male black barber, a young male korean store owner) questions about black culture.

"Why do black people smoke menthol cigarettes?" was one of them, with "nobody knows" given as the correct answer. The whole segment was hysterical.
There was also a very dopey looking white high school student, and Neil Brennan, Chappelle's co-writer.

"What is referred to as a 'loosey'?"

Barber Guy: "One loose cigarette that you buy at the store. From the Arab."

Diane_Keaton 08-19-2005 11:47 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
If the server thinks you're a pain in the ass, it's far more likely she or he will avoid you, won't check to see if everything is okay, won't refill your drinks, will be brusque, etc.
Or brand you "Jew Couple"

ltl/fb 08-19-2005 11:47 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Someone who stiffs the server on the tip because of one.
Or because she accused the diner of being a doctor -- everyone knows doctors are scum -- when the diner is actually a lawyer -- the pinnacle of respected professions.

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 11:50 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Or because she accused the diner of being a doctor -- everyone knows doctors are scum -- when the diner is actually a lawyer -- the pinnacle of respected professions.
I don't just say this because I cwush him, but I think SD was joking. He doesn't strike me as a stiffer.

str8outavannuys 08-19-2005 11:51 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Ashey Larry should get his own show.
One thing you learn listening to the commentary is that that guy usually just shows up on set once in awhile and demands to be put in sketches as an extra, and then winds up with a line or two of dialogue because he's so funny. In playa-haters ball, he yells out to Ice-T -- "You look like a bootleg version of Ice-T", or something to that effect; it's hysterical.

Also, the number of sketches in which the one of Dave's buddies (not Ashey Larry) does 'the robot' is in double digits -- one of them is one of the bumpers during "Wayne Brady takes over Chappelle's Show" - It's the old blues guys, Wayne, and Robot guy.

ltl/fb 08-19-2005 11:54 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I don't just say this because I cwush him, but I think SD was joking. He doesn't strike me as a stiffer.
Today is a day in which I should not interact with others. Every single email has been a DISASTER, and now I have offended you and Not Bob.

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 11:56 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Today is a day in which I should not interact with others. Every single email has been a DISASTER, and now I have offended you and Not Bob.
You have not offended me. I just wanted to know what it was like to jump to the defense of my unofficial (unacknowledged? unrequited?) internet boyfriend.

dtb 08-19-2005 11:57 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
You have not offended me. I just wanted to know what it was like to jump to the defense of my unofficial internet-boyfriend.
So... how was it?

(Excellent choice, by the way -- but where does this leave GWNC, coltrane and me?)

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 11:57 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
So... how was it?

(Excellent choice, by the way -- but where does this leave GWNC, coltrane and me?)
You're each my #1 super fuck.

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 11:59 AM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
One thing you learn listening to the commentary is that that guy usually just shows up on set once in awhile and demands to be put in sketches as an extra, and then winds up with a line or two of dialogue because he's so funny. In playa-haters ball, he yells out to Ice-T -- "You look like a bootleg version of Ice-T", or something to that effect; it's hysterical.

Also, the number of sketches in which the one of Dave's buddies (not Ashey Larry) does 'the robot' is in double digits -- one of them is one of the bumpers during "Wayne Brady takes over Chappelle's Show" - It's the old blues guys, Wayne, and Robot guy.
Whoever the guy is, he's brilliant. His characcter on the Real World sketch and the gameshow about black culture stole both sketches.

I understand why Dave's gone, but I'm really fucking pissed.

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 12:05 PM

Customer Service fun
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Or brand you "Jew Couple"
In context, I think it's not quite as mean-spirited (or redundant) as this:

Quote:

When LaChania Govan's Comcast service wasn't working, she called for help. And called. And called. It was a frustrating process, and then she got the bill.

By Scott Goldstein
Tribune staff reporter

August 17, 2005

Until recently, LaChania Govan's complaints about Comcast's service seemed relatively tame. The 25-year-old Elgin mother of two said she was put on hold, disconnected, even transferred to the Spanish language line.

But after persistent problems with her digital recording system forced her to make dozens of calls to the cable company in July, her August bill came with a change really worth complaining about: In place of her name were the words "Bitch Dog."

"I could not believe it," said Govan, who works in customer service for a credit card company. She said she immediately called Comcast to cancel her service and was sent to an operator.

"She asked me for my name. I said, `You really don't want me to go there,'" Govan said. (Hi, TM!)

Recounting her problems on Tuesday, she said she was transferred to a supervisor who assured her he would find out what happened and get back to her soon.

In the meantime, she said, he offered her two months of free cable, which she declined.

A Comcast official said Tuesday the company was aware of the incident and that the bogus name change was authentic but said she couldn't discuss the specifics until the company discovered how it occurred.

"If this is not that customer's name, it shouldn't be on that bill," said Patricia Andrews-Keenan, vice president of communications for the company. "But we don't know why that happened. It's obvious that that's inappropriate to have a name like that on that account."

The name on Govan's account has been changed back, said Andrews-Keenan, who is based in Chicago.

The company should be able to track who made the change, she said. "Generally, it's much like any other billing services. You should be able to look and see who made different notations on that account," she said. "And that's where we are now; we're looking to see if we can find that out."

Martin Cohen is executive director of the Citizens Utility Board of
Illinois, which handles complaints about utility and other service
providers. Although Govan's troubles aren't all that common, the
organization learned this week about a similar case involving a Peoples Energy customer, he said.

In that case, Jefferoy Barnes, 44, of Maywood received four pieces of mail from the company that included the words "scrotum bag" in the line with his name.

Unlike Govan, Barnes said he couldn't recall any interaction with company employees that could have prompted the slur. One of the company mailings, a July 23 letter, concerned an overdue payment on a gas bill.

"I was shocked," he said. "I showed my friends and a couple of relatives. I can't believe they did that, and I couldn't even understand why."

After a reporter inquired about the problem Tuesday, a company spokeswoman said the employee responsible was being fired. "We have identified the representative who is responsible for this change, and this person is being fired immediately," Elizabeth Castro said.

"Additionally, we are now checking all records that this person had contact with to ensure that no other similar changes have been made. And finally, we have called the customer and have spoken with him directly to apologize for this. This is not how we treat our customers."

Barnes said he received an apologetic call Tuesday evening from a company executive. But more than a week after receiving her bill, Govan has not heard back from Comcast, she said.

Her August bill for $77.50 came after a month in which she estimates she called Comcast 40 times because of repeated problems with a new digital recording box.

Govan, who does not speak Spanish, said she didn't appreciate being transferred to the company's Spanish-language line.

But receiving the bill with the obscene name topped it all, she said. "That hurts my feelings, and I feel that is just beyond the bottomless pit," Govan said. "You don't do a customer like that in any business that you're in."

Govan said she was never abusive to Comcast employees. "I did express my dissatisfaction with their customer service," she said.

She said the company did eventually replace her digital recording
system--twice, because the first replacement didn't work either.
Now, with her cancellation request pending, she is simply waiting for the company to show up and disconnect her.


sgoldstein@tribune.com
Copyright (c) 2005, Chicago Tribune

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:07 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
You have not offended me. I just wanted to know what it was like to jump to the defense of my unofficial (unacknowledged? unrequited?) internet boyfriend.
Oh, its requited. I don’t know how I’d get through these boards without you... You should name your child Sebastian.
Actually, I like the name Sebastian, and my wife even seemed to think that it would be a good name for a son. But I’ve ruined it. I can never use it. I’d have a child who reminded me of myself...

BTW, what’s a “stiffer?” I tip 15% for bad service, 20% for good.

Mister_Ruysbroeck 08-19-2005 12:08 PM

Interruptus Again
 
Quote:

Originally posted by baltassoc
There are two levels here. You can get some really good quality sound from some of the computer speakers.

This set, for example (buy it on eBay, this is a great seller, and they have new stuff coming up all the time). My brother has a pair of these, and they're loud enough to be heard clearly at a medium sized party, but not loud enough to cover the sounds of monkey love.

If you want earthshattering bass for you funk, you are going to have to go with a real amp and real speakers. Hooking up the computer is no problem; you just need a sufficiently long cord with a stereo jack on one end (the computer end) and RCA plugs on the other.
Just get a set of Klipsch 5.1s. They have the amp built in and are THX certified. Click here for 500 watts of computer speaker power. If that's too much, you could always go with the 200 watt, 2.1 system.

I have a set of the older 4.1s that are 400 watts. They make my ears bleed.

Note: There are some reports of high failure rates, but I've had my 4.1s for 4 years now and haven't had a problem. If you hook yours up and think you may have a bum set (you hear crackling or a lot of noise) just return them and get a new set.

Not Bob 08-19-2005 12:10 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Today is a day in which I should not interact with others. Every single email has been a DISASTER, and now I have offended you and Not Bob.
Please. You have to work a lot harder than that to offend me.

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:10 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Today is a day in which I should not interact with others. Every single email has been a DISASTER, and now I have offended you and Not Bob.
Same boat. I just slammed my fist onto the telephone and believe it may be cracked or borken (suddenly, there's no voicemail LED button blinking... eh....).

Breathe. Its Friday. You’ll be shitfaced and forget life in less than 10 hours. Serenity Now.

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:12 PM

Interruptus Again
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Just get a set of Klipsch 5.1s. They have the amp built in and are THX certified. Click here for 500 watts of computer speaker power. If that's too much, you could always go with the 200 watt, 2.1 system.

I have a set of the older 4.1s that are 400 watts. They make my ears bleed.

Note: There are some reports of high failure rates, but I've had my 4.1s for 4 years now and haven't had a problem. If you hook yours up and think you may have a bum set (you hear crackling or a lot of noise) just return them and get a new set.
Klipsch. I'd expect nothing less from a man who has his casual slacks tailored.

I prefer Bose and Polk, because I'm almost deaf already and don't need to hear any of the high notes.

dtb 08-19-2005 12:13 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Same boat. I just slammed my fist onto the telephone and believe it may be cracked or borken (suddenly, there's no voicemail LED button blinking... eh....).
Upon first reading, I was under the impression that you had broken your fist and started to panic -- how would you type with a broken fist? -- I wondered. I am relieved to know it's just the phone. (Unless your fist has an LED button?)

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 12:16 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
BTW, what’s a “stiffer?” I tip 15% for bad service, 20% for good.
Less than 15% is stiffing. I usually tip about 25% for good service, the percentage slides upward for less expensive meals and downward for fancy joints. Also, the standard is higher the fancier the place.

The problem with only tipping 15% for bad service is that the server will sooner conclude that you are cheap than that she or he sucks. But I don't want to have a "you know, I'd have tipped you better if you hadn't done x, y, and z, which constituted bad service" after half my meals, so I think 15% is necessary given that (i) the person is being paid less than the minimum wage, (ii) the restaurant may pool tips rather than let each server keep his or her own, (iii) regardless of the system, the servers have to tip out the busboys, kitchen, and bar staff, and (iv) I make a lot of money and they don't.

Shape Shifter 08-19-2005 12:16 PM

Interruptus Again
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Thanks for all the comedy suggestions. Ultimately, "date night" ended up with me rolling around the top of my bedspread with my S/O in every sexual position known to mankind so we didn't get the chance to hit the video store. (I thought we had needed a comedy to lighten things up but, ahem, it seemed something else was needed.)

Anyhoo, quick question on computer music. I do a decent amount of downloading songs and I'd like better sound quality than the wimpy (but not too bad) speakers that came with my Dell flat screen computer purchased about 2 years ago. I have an old crappy stereo and speakers in the front room but rather than upgrade that one, any thoughts on whether good speakers could be added to the computer in the bedroom? Basically, what do I need to make the computer the source of some good quality funk?

(Yes, this question is sex-related because the whole point is to shag on the new shag rug -- they're back in you know-- in the little alcove to the bedrom, preferably to the sounds of some recent downloaded tunes which of course include my bad, bad girl, Fionna.)

Yeah, yeah I know. "Take it to the Politics Board, Keaton".
Which poster was it?

ThurgreedMarshall 08-19-2005 12:17 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
One thing you learn listening to the commentary is that that guy usually just shows up on set once in awhile and demands to be put in sketches as an extra, and then winds up with a line or two of dialogue because he's so funny. In playa-haters ball, he yells out to Ice-T -- "You look like a bootleg version of Ice-T", or something to that effect; it's hysterical.
He was on the Hot 97 Morning Show here in New York for awhile. He really isn't that funny.

Did you see his cameo in Spider Man 2? Peter Parker is trying to deliver a pizza and he ducks into an alley, changes to Spider Man in order to get there quicker and he yells, "Hey! Spider Man stole that guy's pizza!" Or something.

TM

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:21 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Less than 15% is stiffing. I tip about 25% for good service, the percentage slides upward for less expensive meals and downward for fancy joints. Also, the standard is higher the fancier the place.

The problem with only tipping 15% for bad service is that the server will sooner conclude that you are cheap than that she or he sucks. But I don't want to have a "you know, I'd have tipped you better if you hadn't done x, y, and z, which constituted bad service" after half my meals, so I think 15% is necessary given that (i) the person is being paid less than the minimum wage, (ii) the restaurant may pool tips rather than let each server keep his or her own, (iii) regardless of the system, the servers have to tip out the busboys, kitchen, and bar staff, and (iv) I make a lot of money and they don't.
Did you read the piece in the Times about how studies show people personable waiters better, and that service usually isn't the prime deciding factor in tip size? It was in last week's oped section.

I do 25% if the person is exceptionally nice and super and I've loved the meal and am pretty drunk. I'll also tip way extra if I don't feel on dealing with getting change for the bills I have.

Shape Shifter 08-19-2005 12:21 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
Or brand you "Jew Couple"
Karina? Is that a Serbian name?

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:22 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
Upon first reading, I was under the impression that you had broken your fist and started to panic -- how would you type with a broken fist? -- I wondered. I am relieved to know it's just the phone. (Unless your fist has an LED button?)
It would be nice to have a fist that started blinking when you got angry. It'd be soooo easy to let people know where you stand, and when they oughta shut the fuck up.

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:24 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Please. You have to work a lot harder than that to offend me.
Springsteen is an overrated hack... a cheapass trailer park wanna be Dylan.

There, that should offend Bob.

ltl/fb 08-19-2005 12:25 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Springsteen is an overrated hack... a cheapass trailer park wanna be Dylan.

There, that should offend Bob.
HE'S NOT BOB!!!!

robustpuppy 08-19-2005 12:26 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Did you read the piece in the Times about how studies show people personable waiters better, and that service usually isn't the prime deciding factor in tip size? It was in last week's oped section.

I do 25% if the person is exceptionally nice and super and I've loved the meal and am pretty drunk. I'll also tip way extra if I don't feel on dealing with getting change for the bills I have.
No, I didn't see that article. But I hope this concept of being personable does not inspire more servers to bend at the knees, rest their arms on the table, and say "Hey, guys, I'm Justin, I'll be your server tonight, okay guys? Awesome."

Justin, I don't care what the fuck your name is. I can't remember the names of law school classmates, former colleagues, or even certain partners in my firm who could actually help my career. Your name has no chance of being lodged in my memory, even for the duration of this meal, which has already been rendered too long by your lengthy introduction. Oh, and my due date is none of your business, in fact, I'm not even pregnant. Now please stand up and go get me a margarita and an ashtray.

Hank Chinaski 08-19-2005 12:34 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Today is a day in which I should not interact with others. Every single email has been a DISASTER, and now I have offended you and Not Bob.
Just step back and work on your list of things you'll ask outside counsel to get done this weekend, with an email sent at 4 PM this afternoon. That always helps you focus.

bold_n_brazen 08-19-2005 12:43 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
HE'S NOT BOB!!!!
Diet Dr. Pepper. Keyboard.

Thank you.

bold_n_brazen 08-19-2005 12:45 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
No, I didn't see that article. But I hope this concept of being personable does not inspire more servers to bend at the knees, rest their arms on the table, and say "Hey, guys, I'm Justin, I'll be your server tonight, okay guys? Awesome."

Justin, I don't care what the fuck your name is. I can't remember the names of law school classmates, former colleagues, or even certain partners in my firm who could actually help my career. Your name has no chance of being lodged in my memory, even for the duration of this meal, which has already been rendered too long by your lengthy introduction. Oh, and my due date is none of your business, in fact, I'm not even pregnant. Now please stand up and go get me a margarita and an ashtray.
When I was hugely pregnant, I went with the then-husband to a barbeque restaurant, where our server gestured at my enormous, protruding belly (hi SD!), looked at the mister and asked "Is it yours?"

I think I tipped her more than the bill.

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 12:46 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
No, I didn't see that article. But I hope this concept of being personable does not inspire more servers to bend at the knees, rest their arms on the table, and say "Hey, guys, I'm Justin, I'll be your server tonight, okay guys? Awesome."

Justin, I don't care what the fuck your name is. I can't remember the names of law school classmates, former colleagues, or even certain partners in my firm who could actually help my career. Your name has no chance of being lodged in my memory, even for the duration of this meal, which has already been rendered too long by your lengthy introduction. Oh, and my due date is none of your business, in fact, I'm not even pregnant. Now please stand up and go get me a margarita and an ashtray.
I have always wanted to do a few skits and get them on videotape. One would be to saunter into an airport bar in a Captain’s uniform, slug down five or six drinks, start slurring and acting surly and make a scene, then look at my watch, scream “Fuck! My flight!” and run out the door, videotaping the patrons left behind. The other would be to assemble a group of friends in a hotel suite, put plastic tarp all over the floor, dress the friends in butcher uniforms and one guy in janitor-type uniform (all wearing surgical masks) and then call some seedy strippers to the room, videotaping their horrified reactions when they enter the scene (Yes, I realize that one is a tad sick, but it’d be pretty comical). Now, you have given me a great idea. I’d get a female friend to wear a fake pregnancy costume and accompany me to dinner at a center table at a very upscale restaurant, where she would proceed to get scandalously falling down loud and obnoxious drunk. A buddy at the bar would videotape the horrified reactions of the patrons.

I love you - you’ve rounded out my pitch. Of course, royalties will be paid to you.

Shape Shifter 08-19-2005 12:57 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I have always wanted to do a few skits and get them on videotape. One would be to saunter into an airport bar in a Captain’s uniform, slug down five or six drinks, start slurring and acting surly and make a scene, then look at my watch, scream “Fuck! My flight!” and run out the door, videotaping the patrons left behind. The other would be to assemble a group of friends in a hotel suite, put plastic tarp all over the floor, dress the friends in butcher uniforms and one guy in janitor-type uniform (all wearing surgical masks) and then call some seedy strippers to the room, videotaping their horrified reactions when they enter the scene (Yes, I realize that one is a tad sick, but it’d be pretty comical). Now, you have given me a great idea. I’d get a female friend to wear a fake pregnancy costume and accompany me to dinner at a center table at a very upscale restaurant, where she would proceed to get scandalously falling down loud and obnoxious drunk. A buddy at the bar would videotape the horrified reactions of the patrons.

I love you - you’ve rounded out my pitch. Of course, royalties will be paid to you.
First one's been done. I can't remember by whom, but I've seen that. I'll check my unused Law Revue files. There's probably something in there you can use.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 08-19-2005 12:58 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
First one's been done. I can't remember by whom, but I've seen that.
The Man Show. Adam Corrolla deserves more credit for being extremely funny.

sebastian_dangerfield 08-19-2005 01:00 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
First one's been done. I can't remember by whom, but I've seen that. I'll check my unused Law Revue files. There's probably something in there you can use.
The pregnancy one is the best of the three. There's a Palm in Philly thats always packed full of jackasses who fancy themselves as imprtant "players" with a hidden bar right next to the serving area for the buddy with the video camera. I can even see the exact table I'd use. Dead center... can be seen perfectly from every other table.

Their food's overrated shit anyway. Its worth the lifetime ban.

Shape Shifter 08-19-2005 01:00 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
The Man Show. Adam Corrolla deserves more credit for being extremely funny.
How is his new show? I've had it on, but I've not paid attention.

notcasesensitive 08-19-2005 01:05 PM

Excuse me, your Freudian slip is showing.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
How is his new show? I've had it on, but I've not paid attention.
Not Funny. From the 5 minutes I watched the other night. I didn't even know he had a new show until it was on when I turned on the tv. He was doing the talk-to-people-in-a-food-court thing that Leno does to such non-comedic effect. Corolla did not do it any funnier than Leno. Meh.


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