Hi Guys.
 

I don't want to pile on, but part of the problem with the RT/balt lovefest is that neither one is going to say anything bad about the other. Part of the fun of talking about sex on the board is talking about things that our partners have done wrong or things that annoy us or disgust us. Clearly neither of them are going to provide us with any of these details. Good sex (when others are having it) is boring.

Hi Guys.
 

You can try to rationalize it all you want, honey, but when you fell asleep during our threeway, it was just plain rude.

Hi Guys.
 

But isn't that why you gave her the Rohypnol in the first place?

Hi Guys.
 

Unless they are going to post pictures. I could deal with that.

Hi Guys.
 

I don't think it counts as a three-way just b/c you're pregnant.

Hi Guys.
 

spit or swallow?

Hi Guys.
 

Which is why so much mileage has been had with Slave's ill considered decision to employ the hurrishave technique on that oh so fateful nite, yes?

Hi Guys.
 

Awe, you think of me as a friend. That's so sweet. I like you too.

Hi Guys.
 

What ARE you talking about?

Hi Guys.
 

This is funny. More of this, less of everything else.

Thanks, friend.

TM

Hi Guys.
 

SS*POTY.


*Sick, sick, not Shape Shifter.

Hi Guys.
 

You are totally sucking up to him again.

Hi Guys.
 

If you don't know, be thankful, as The Paigow can attest, there are few post-sexxing fates worse than a hurrishave burn.

Hi Guys.
 

You need to work on your definition of sucking up, if it includes merely agreeing.

Hi Guys.
 

It's not going to be a ruler so much as a 2x4.

Hi Guys.
 

Around here that's pretty much all it takes.

Hi Guys.
 

What kind of lube are we talking?

Hi Guys.
 

I do not disagree.

Hi Guys.
 

Nothing but your copious tears.

Hi Guys.
 

Cool. I like pain. It gets the adrenaline flowing.

Hi Guys.
 

That explains your work on Politics.

NWA
 

So on CNBC today, every time I look up there's a headline with "NWA" in big letters. It took me a while to realize they weren't talking about the music group. I wondered why it was suddenly so much in the news -- and on CNBC to boot!

NWA
 

I always get a kick out of the fact that www.nwa.com has nothing to do with the Cube, Dre, et al.

paparazzi
 

What is it about celebrities that make them want to run from the paparazzi? Scarlett Johanson got into a car accident while fleeing them recently.

Can someone tell me why it's such a big deal not to have your picture taken if you're a celebrity? Who fucking cares if some jackass takes your picture while you are driving from nowhwere special to nowhere important?

You're going to start a high speed chase because you aren't wearing makeup? That can't be it. Somebody help me out with this.

If I were a celebrity, I would let them take so many photos that they would get bored of it, they wouldn't be worth anything and they would quit on their own.*

TM

*Yeah, I know. This would happen after roughly 2 photos.

paparazzi
 

You answered your own question. They want total image control. Scarlett probably has herself in a lather because they caught her with a half centimeter whitehead sprouting from her forehead like a third eye.

Lohan started that high speed chase for the same reason Ray Liotta's character drove frantically around Queens near the end of Goodfellas. "Cociane's a helluva drug." That screwy twist probably reported seeing helicopters chasing her to the police.

... And somewhere, Nicole Ritchie was watching it all on live television, thinking "Fuuuuck, did I give that bitch the uncut shit? Fuck me!"

Hi Guys.
 

Sean Hannity + Jack Kerouac + [insert name of blabbering cousin who dresses like Britney and spews endlessly about her favorite mall]

<Sniff>
 

I'm back!!! Yay!

paparazzi
 

Far be it from me to defend the Hollywood elite, but apparently the paparazzi has decided that simply taking pictures is no longer enough, but that they need to *create* the picture too. Causing accidents, or boxing cars in, are apparently new strategies.

My kid showed me an example of this on E, I think. It was a videotape of a bunch of people following Drew Barrymore around the airport and bugging the shit out of her in the hopes of getting a picture and/or video of her cursing them out, so that Star or US Weekly could run a "Drew's Gone Wild!" story. Despicable.

Hi Guys.
 

Oh no you don't. You can't be gay and suddenly declare manliness. You're a fruitcake - stamped, labelled, branded, aged and certified fruitier than a blueberry tart.

paparazzi
 

Please respond with a story about a celebrity who did not fuck Tom Green.

<Sniff>
 

As you will undoubtedly see as you are catching up, I took the liberty of speaking on your behalf. I hope you don't hurt me.

Hi Guys.
 

when is breasticle day? I prefer me nude too.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Olivia Newton-John, not so innocent?


Why am I suspicious, you ask?

1. The 8-year age difference between the two. (Newton-John is 52.) Clearly the relationship was doomed.

2. Her reluctance to call the man her "boyfriend." See 1 re: doomedness.

3. The split infinitive --- a sure sign of guilt in someone pleading for the safe return of a loved one.

paparazzi
 

translation: I wanna be a star!

eta: I even have the perfect BJ recipe to use on the producers

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

I'm sure my internet treasured friend would agree.

<Sniff>
 

aha! Good job.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

So paramour > treasured friend > friend.

Where would "internet [b or g]f" be on there?

paparazzi
 

Hey. I invented bothering people until they show you their tits.

TM

paparazzi
 

Maybe less was right about you.

TM

paparazzi
 

Are you telling me that you wouldn't, just for the fun of it, try and ditch 'em in whatever expensive car you'd be driving? I'd do it once or twice just for kicks.