I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

"Treasured friend" -- at the bottom of the ocean? She's just toying with us, daring us to come and get her. She's a cold one, all right.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Follow me, up and down, all the way, and all around...

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

If you know what life is worth
You would look for yours on earth

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Huh. You were funnier when you were gay.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

You have to be gay, black or Jewish to be funny.

ETA: unless you are a woman. Then you can be the above and you still won't be funny.

Ooooh, burn on women.

paparazzi
 

Hey. its an homage to the concept of bothering people until they show you their tits. NTTAWWT.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

I dressed better, too. I wore a point collar today thinking that it was a spread collar, which is the only appropriate collar for my current outfit. I am an idiot. An idiot! I might as well walk around the office with Cheese Whiz stains from my noontime cheesesteak on my tie.

Anyhoo, what were you saying? I have such a hard time focusing on your posts. I try, because I've heard about how hilarious and erudite and wry you are. I love that type of humor! I don't always get it, but I laugh anyway. Sometimes I laugh harder the less I get it! Ha ha! Anyhoo, thanks for the response!

paparazzi
 

You could jump out of the car, go off road and bait them into running after you. It would be much more enjoyable to watch them all keel over after trying in vain to keep up with one so swift.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

You can't be a straight snippy bitch. Make up your mind. You're becoming the Andy Dick of the boards.

paparazzi
 

Maybe in an Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hills Cop, wait at a stop light and go when it just turns red, kind of way.

In generic white guy voice: "Is this the man who disabled a police cruiser by putting a banana in the tailpipe?"

TM

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Good friends we have had, oh good friends we've lost
along the way
In this bright future you can't forget your past
So dry your tears I say

Two very apt overheards
 

It's like we magically came to life and jumped off this board and were overheard in NY:

#1:
Lady #1: Look at all these kids! I feel so old...I can't date in this city any more.
Lady #2: Are you kidding? Listen, honey, let me tell you...I just finished my starter marriage, and I've been dating like crazy!

--6 train


Overheard by: BBW

#2:

Girl #1: Look at my new ring! Isn't it shiny and big?
Girl #2: Omigod. When did you get it?
Girl #1: Yesterday, my manlover gave it to me.
Girl #2: "Manlover"?
Girl #1: Yeah, he's not a boy or my friend, hence manlover.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Is this new math? If he is 48, then is he lying?

Two very apt overheards
 

I would very much like to magically come to life. I think it may happen soon, when I walk out through the front door of this misery mill.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Wait a sec. Now, math is not my spesh-ee-ality or anything (b/c, as we all know, math is hard), but doesn't the article say the guy is 48? Do years of difference double at some point?

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Gosh. RP, GWINK and I are three lucky ladies, I tell you.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

I think you mean "rye".

(a common mistake -- don't beat yourself up about it or anything)

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Nice use of Canadian/English punctuation on National Punctuation Day. Maybe the name of the day should be changed to International Punctuation Day. Hooray!

Two very apt overheards
 

I have a great cure for the job blues - punch "Bill Hicks" into google and start reading.

Excuse me... I have to step outside and shoot myself in the head.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Well, Spanky is being all international and shit over on the other place, so I wanted to join in the fun!

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Women are attracted to chauvinist pigs like me. Wanna go for a ride on my Harley?

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

I can't believe you even need to ask.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Nice try. gwnc already told me that despite the accent and the attempts to laugh with the board Canadians at references to Canada-only commercials and chocolate bars and such, you are from Detroit, not Toronto. Next you will be changing your name to Esther and writing children's stories.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

What do you mean? My name IS Esther.

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

To Prague?

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

Oklahoma? mmmm Kolaches!

I never bought her Sandra Dee routine
 

You live on the second floor? I think I've maybe seen you before?

Poker Fans
 

Yes. I've been at the table for a big beat jackpot, although I only pocketed about $200. I didn't remember much of a delay, though we all were happy to give a complete stranger our driver's licenses so he could fill out the IRS forms, identity theft be damned.

They're common in both brick-and-mortar and online poker rooms. Once I lost a bad beat, then didn't get the jackpot when my kicker didn't play (which is really two bad beats when you think about it.)

At lower-limit tables, say the $1/2 at Oaks, you'll often hear players begging their dealer to deal them a jackpot.

Which Reservoir Dog Am I?
 

http://live.quizilla.com/user_images...IZmrorange.jpg

FUPA
 

One of my favorite FBisms just got its own Wikipedia entry. Fittingly, it contains two typos and a unwarranted provincial pride.

ETA: And one grammatical error.

ETAA: Anything important happen while I was away living life? Did Slave and Paigow finally unfuck each other?

ETCGA.

FUPA
 

Not yet, but hope springs eternal. If we stay the course.

FUPA
 

No, but RT and Balt pissed Thurgreed off with TMI (or maybe it was NotEnoughInformation) about their liason, which is ironic in a way (the Thurgreed complaining about TMI bit) and, in another way, fairly unremarkable (the Thurgreed getting easily annoyed bit). How is life? Tell it I say "hello".

FUPA
 

Yes, tell life that Ironweak says "hello." That poor miserable bastard has been chained to his desk for years, toiling away in the billable hour mines, slaving for the man, and engaging in various other overwork cliches. His eyes are bloodshot and bulging from staring at the computer screen 18-20 hours a day, and his skin has taken on a sickly greenish pallor that comes from too much flourescent light. His neck has a permanent crick from cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder on endless conference calls with dozens of spiritless, robotic lawyers who prattle on as if their sole derivation of worth comes from sharing with the group their banal and uninspired observations. Yes, heavy is the life of Ironweak, and broken is his psyche. It is a miracle that any humor at all, even his black, twisted, and world-weary brand, manages to exist in the darkness that is his soul.

FUPA
 

What is it with you two anyway? You're starting to sound like Fringey and Hank. (sorry Fringey)
Y'all have a spat or something?

FUPA
 

starting?

FUPA
 

Be fair. These two consistently have used larger words in their little West-Side-Story-style confrontations, and even if not always correctly so, their ambitions should be applauded.

Pavement drawings
 

Usually this kind of art is pretty simplistic, but this guy has some freaky talent. Sad, if he's really dedicating all his effort to something that washes away in the rain.

http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever/images/coke.jpg

Carry on.

FUPA
 

Better that he take up spinning?

FUPA
 

Fringey and Hank? Please. Fringey and Hank throw dry cat-poo at each other in the dirty sandbox of their petty indignations, never really intending to wound and secretly angling to bed each other.

On the other hand, Flower hates me with the evil passion of a thousand burning suns and will never rest until I am destroyed, utterly and completely, along with everything I stand for. But there can be only one victor in this cosmic death struggle, and his Götterdämmerung is closer than he suspects.

FUPA
 

Speaking of which, Fringey and I are on a break, but if anyone should be speaking or otherwise corresponding with her and my name should happen to come up, please give her my regards.