Jinger???
 

Cf. children of Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel: Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sascha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil.

Jinger???
 

I just can't imagine. We can barely handle two. 'Course I agree with the idea of needing a naming scheme. That's why we named ours baltspawn A and baltspawn B.

Jinger???
 

it one reason why Jewish people don't have 15 kids.

Jinger???
 

We toyed with Thing 1, Thing Two, and so on to reduce the arguments about names. But in the end I got the name I wanted. I mean - I did all the work, right?

-TL

Quandry
 

So, middle son (Nature Boy) finds a blown-down woodduck house in the woods, with eggs scattered all over the ground. He picks them up, brings them home, rigs up a warmer, and, one week later, the damn things all hatch.

Five days later, they all follow him around his room in a group, cheeping madly and trying to crawl up his pants leg. If he sits on the ground, they all hop onto his lap and settle in contentedly and sort of quietly do a bird-purr. He has named them all, and I think they respond to their own names.

My cursory research with my field guide tells me that these are baby loons. With the combined penalties from the Migratory Waterfowl Protection Act, and the Minnesota State Bird Designation Act, I'm thinking this is good for about a $5,000 fine.

This can't turn out well.

Quandry
 

Would it be insensitive to suggest several recipes, I mean, solutions to your predicament?

Quandry
 

There was never any question you'd be raising loons. I just never would have guessed it would skip a generation.

Quandry
 

Softballs. I gotta watch the softballs.

Quandry
 

surely there is an amnesty program. you can teach your kids that, while it's important to care for wildlife, it's even more important to be trained in ass-covering.

Quandry
 

You can watch that last one soaring over the fence if you look quickly

Quandry
 

I can't even get past the "which wine with loon" issue. I mean, they're poultry, sort of, but with a strong fishy taste, plus they're the State Bird, which pretty well mandates a Minnesota wine all by itslef. And, if you know "Minnesota wine", you understand my problem.

Quandry
 

That's the stuff made to soften lefse and be served with lutefisk, right?

Quandry
 

It comes in a different bottle, but the taste is pretty much identical.

Takes tar and sap off of car paint, too. But you have to work fast, or the paint dies.

Quandry
 

You'd have to go outside of Minnesota, but perhaps this would be appropriate:

http://www.bevmo.com//115images//63470.jpg

Mmmn....Loon...The OTHER White Meat
 

Wow. That is the sweetest boy you have. *sigh*.

I think it can turn out well. If this were me, I'd probably waste money on some sort of comfy loon house (a loony bin perhaps? um...hardy har har and what not), spend too much time learning about the wants and needs of growing loons and to make sure the little loonies are fully entertained, I'd hire and overpay a Loon Nanny who'd end up, for $600 an hour, watching tv while the little loons run amok about the house. But that's just me.

If you really don't want to raise these things, even to the awkward teen years, then you could be creative about how you break the news to nature boy. Try this link and
this one too to find places to call about a potential new home. The one site suggests that folks get permits to rehabilitate various wildlife and I'd be surprised if there weren't some crazy Minnesotan specializing in loons. Then, you could make it a nice learning experience by having your son check out the new home for his little loons, and he could maybe "volunteer" with whatever wildlife rehab project is going on to make him feel included. If the new loon home is close, he might even get to visit them. At the least, I'm sure folks would be happy to send him pics of the loons as they grow. And if the place is too far away, maybe the whole thing sparks an interest in wildlife rehab and he could do cool stuff as a volunteer more local to you.