Your Daily Fix
 

Me too!! Me too!!! (I saw it in Philly -- Santana and The Clash were the opening acts -- I was in high school -- I am old.)

I remember it well, as it was one of the four (actually, I can only remember three, but I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt, and going with "there must be another, but I've forgotten it" theory) concerts I've actually been to.

Yes, I am super-cool, why do you ask?



Edited to correct glaring (and frankly, just appalling) punctuation error.

Bull
 

It is on this 20th day of the month of November, in the year of our Lord 2003, that Slave Cardinal Forever has issued a Papal Decree in the name of our failing father Pope John Paul II as follows:

"The use of the word "Whiff" must cease and desist.

What was once an amusing carry-over Dan Patrick joke used by Justice Thurgreed Marshall has now devolved into a sick, festering, joyless and overused catchphrase that must be stopped for the greater good of mankind.

And before some crazy moderator with an itchy trigger finger gets onery.

Thus it is decreed. Amen"

-Cardinal Slave

Affairs of the Sky
 

I did not know they still said "bu-bye" in the backwaters of the country. Guess its like the goatee craze in deep suburban Maryland. I woudlnt think we would need to add it to the garbage heap of shit that has had to go for five years, but apparently someone who I am not talking to directly did not get the memo.

Affairs of the Sky
 

Whiff.

Bu-bye.

Bull
 

Everybody put your hands in the air as if there are no reprecussions...

Bull
 

You are correct, sir, but your avatar1 actually looks like an overdressed pumpkin. The association's probably due to your adopting it around Halloween. The JWB bottle, on the other hand, was very authoritative and masculine.

But maybe you're going for a Father Ralph deBricassart vibe.2



1. Glass house, I know.
2. dtb, I wrote a paper about this book in 10th grade. Not quite Princess Daisy, but close.

Kids' sex
 

Holy crap, I was jerking off at 10.

Bull
 

Funny, I can't help but think Imperial (TM) Margerine.

Edited to add: I don't want to get in trouble with the TM Timmies

Kids' sex
 

One of my pledge brothers (nickname: Booger - we were so creative) experinced his first orgasm at 11. He was on a fitness kick at the time and was in his room doing situps when he noticed he had a hardon. So he smiled and started doing more situps until his Magic Moment. Afterwards, he would rush home from school to go to his room to do situps. His mom remarked about how she was proud that he was so dedicated to working out.

Thorns, Spoons, what's the difference
 

Or the real King of the kitchen:
http://theimaginaryworld.com/tic01.jpg

http://theimaginaryworld.com/box1250.jpg

See more cereal box characters here:
www.theimaginaryworld.com

Kids' sex
 

This explains Bayesdow's Fitness Made Simple (TM)

Bull
 

Captain Kangaroo had his own cereal?

Bull
 

Since we're on breakfast foods, do you have any sausage links?

Bull
 

And thus I give you the Sportscenter altar, where one can view ALL of the joyless and overused catchphrases:
http://www.sportscenteraltar.com/phrases/

Bull
 

Are you offering to cook? Because we could just send Paigow out for bagels.

Bull
 

And muffins?

Bull
 

Are you calling me a bad tennis player? I dont get it. Its not a whiff if I admit Idont get it.

Civil Disobedience at Its Finest
 

Where was she when I was in high school? (save the "in pre-school" replies - this is rhetorical)

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2003/EDUCATION/....haaser.ap.jpg

Inspired by a high school assignment, Stephanie Haaser leaped onto a cafeteria table, shouted "End homophobia now!" and kissed classmate Katherine Pecore.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/EDUCATION/11....ap/index.html

Edited to add: Holy shit. I just realized she probably wasn't born yet when I was in high school and that makes me feel old and pervy and yet still kinda turned on.

Your Daily Fix
 

As I recall, The Hooters actually opened for the Clash who opened for Santana who opened for the Who.

I hearted the Hooters. Before they went nationwide. Back when they were just a Philly band.

Bull
 

No, it was an obligatory 3way allusion.

Bagel means bad tennis player?

Bull
 

Ask and ye shall receive.

http://www.sausagesource.com/

(Spree: A sausage link, obviously-- mmm processed pork product.)

Bull
 

This confirms to me that Dan Patrick is the best. I don't consider any of these overplayed or annoying:

En fuego.
You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him.
The WHIIIIFFFF! (or The WHIIII... on check swings)
Gone.
He's listed as day to day, but, then again, aren't we all?
NOTHING but the bottom of the [net/cup]!
Good!
Chelios with the slapshot...that's a hockey term.
By the final OF...
[Golf/Goff] shots, nothing but [golf/goff] shots.
We're going to oooooovertime.
Soft as church music.
When SportsCenter does an about face...
It's the Big Show...
Alongside my tag team partner [Keith Olbermann/Kenny Mayne], I'm merely Dan Patrick.
I'd like to see it again, please.
Do you wanna play with fire, scarecrow?
BRRRRRRNG!
Goodbye. Game over. Drive home safely.
Freeze it!
We've done all that we can do.
He visits the bird sanctuary.
Defense wins championships!
Now to the third quarter, because the highlights are better there.
HR dot com!
And now that we've met our contestants, let's play.
Cherokee! I already have a watch!
It's a cowhide joyride!
Gives him the high cheese.

I can't say the same for Stuart Scott's (who simply steals from whatever R&B or rap song was hot 3 years ago), Keith Olberman's or Linda Cohn's.

TM

Bull
 

But Stuart Scott is cooler than . . . I guess I kinda see your point. Is his right eye fake? It never blinks and it is always open wider than his left eye. I never noticed this before he got his fashionable lesbian eyewear.

Bull
 

I enjoyed Kilbourn's and some of Kenny Mayne's*.

Kilbourn should make a Penske-esque comeback on SportsCenter.

*e.g. "And with that you get eggroll"

Bull
 

A tennis player who gets a bagel wins no games. Ancient chinese proverb.

Bull
 

fuck you people with your food references. some of us are missing lunch. have some compassion.*


*this is not available on the FB, is it?

Civil Disobedience at Its Finest
 

Hmm. That might just work if all homophobics around the world happened to be in her cafeteria at that moment. I wonder if they were.

Bull
 

I like this one:

"He's listed as day to day, but, then again, aren't we all?"


Maybe Penske will pick it up and run with it.

Affairs of the Sky
 

More to the point, she banters with raouaouaouauauaaaaaaal, misogynist extraordinaire. I'm sure he will post shortly that he loves women, their bodies are nicer to look at than men's are and blad de blah, they have so many great characteristics.

Bull
 

I've noticed it. It's quite disturbing. I think he thinks the big glasses draws attention away from his eye instead of to it. But his penchant for wearing tank tops in his commercials is more disturbing since he thinks he has a great build. Lots of mass. No definition. Not good.

But Linda Cohn is the worst. She wears those tight sweaters now and her body, although more fit than it used to be, will just never look good. That and her too-toothy smile and annoying voice, facial expressions and catch phrases puts her squarely at the top most-hated sports anchor slot.

While we're at it, why is it that no one knows what a nice suit is supposed to look like? The short lapels look is not good. On anyone. And pick a tie with a simple geometric design. Is that so hard? You don't need more than three colors going on at once, either. Jesus.

TM

Affairs of the Sky
 

Confidential to PP in DC:

Yes, let's keep it a secret!

P.S. We are out of X again. Could you please stop on your way over and pick some up?

Affairs of the Sky
 

Tell it, girlfriend.

Tax(peace out)wonk

Bull
 

Both were good. But I can't even look at Kilbourn anymore without TUIMMALB. When he was on Sportscenter and The Daily Show, I used to think that his fratboy-aren't-I-so-cute-I-love-myself bit was a big joke on himself. After watching his show, it is apparent it is not.

TM

Bull
 

Word. The guy who replaced him in the smarmy frat-boy slot on SC is much better.*

And apropos of former SportsCenter anchors, I like the commercials for Rich Eisen's new gig on the NFL Network (does one need a dish to see the show?) -- especially the one with the scene of him at the judge's table watching a try-out for Raider cheerleaders while "Please Mister Fantasy" plays in the background. The look on his face is priceless.

*That was a joke -- hahahaha! The new guys are *all* smarmy frat-boys!

Bull
 

I like Kenny Mayne. I don't really care what comes out of his mouth. I like the way he talks. I know it's over the top but it doesn't bug me. More Kenny!

I didn't see yesterday's South Park, but the image from last week of Cartman doing his Casa Bonita dance keeps popping up in my head. It's almost like I picture it on someone's face when they are talking to me. Not really good to start giggling for no reason when someone is talking to you.

Bull
 

Kenny Mayne is still my all-time favorite. DP gets a nod for being early and sustaining the funny, but here is a selection from Mr. Mayne:

Your puny ballparks are too small to contain my gargantuan blasts! Bring me the finest meats and cheeses for a clubhouse feast!
I am amused by the simplicity of this game.
Take a seat. More beer for me.
I'm not sure what the pitch is, but it tastes like chicken.
Take me to your leaders!
That must be a Homer, Simpson, cuz the pitcher just said D'oh!
Only Barnes and Noble lets someone stand around longer doing nothing.
We're gonna show it again, cause we have editing equipment.
I am the most popular player in all the land!
But we all know that games aren't played on paper...they are played by little men inside our TV sets.
Not all on one play. That'd be a record or something.
They're so cute at this age.
My power is beyond your understanding!
This land is mine for as far as the ball shall travel!
Still plenty of good seats available...if you're just drivin' around.
Everyone put your hands up, way up in the air, and wave them as if there are no reprecussions.
Rod Beck, where it's at.
It's just another case of The Man keeping us down.
Portions of this game were taped for training purposes...
Hey, we're all mammals here.
Later on the car was torn apart by wild dogs.
Obviously, he hasn't watched Tom Emanski's "Defensive Drills". It's endorsed by Fred McGriff, you know.
He makes the restaurant-quality play.
[Football player] has decided to tackle people on behalf of the [NFL team]. Terms of the contract are not disclosed, but we believe it has something to do with money.
My car costs more than your house!
Behold the power of cheese.

Bull
 

The Casa Bonita episode was the first I had seen in a couple of years, after drifting away from the show after it had gotten a little too bizarre (and unfunny). Hilarious. Gonna have to start watching again.

Favorite part was when Butters was rebuilding civilization at the dump, builds a building, and says he's not sure what to put in it... "maybe a PF Chang's or a Bennigan's".

Bull
 

True. I idly thought that was part of the joke, though -- together with taunting the others in the gym, calling them "Tiny."

2004 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductees
 

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/Musi...eut/index.html

George Harrison (solo) (John & Paul already in solo. Don't hold your breath, Ringo)
Prince
ZZ Top (yes!!)
Traffic
Jackson Browne (iffy)
the Dells
Bob Seger (despite those Chevy commercials)

Hard to argue with most of that list, even though I have a problem with the way the Hall goes about the nomination process. Artists become eligible for induction 25 years after their first recording...

Bull
 

That's just one of the commercials where he's showing off his arms or build. And damn if it doesn't have one funny moment.

TM