Attention Please
 

I think that's just your Hi-Karate. Ease up a little on the scent.

Attention Please
 

Yez. Recall the crappy reality TV concept show Airline, which seemingly consisted entirely of filming Southwest desk clerks with forced smiles, enduring screaming fits from raging assholes who want to know why they can't fix the snowstorm that just closed the airport.

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

Depends. Can you afford to buy a decent place or maintain your current mortgage at the in-house gig? If so, grab it. Boston is cheapish right?

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

I've never known a friend in house who didn't work more hours than the average associate.

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

Not sure, but if you change your mind after Bob shows you the goat, you double your chances of making the right decision. Or something like that.

But seriously, take money, run, continue to troll for in-house position. What's to decide? Between making $30,000 more or . . . not? That's not even a close call.

ETA: I assume you have no compunction about fucking your new employers when you get the in-house position, but I just realized not everyone is as morally bankrupt as me.

Attention Please
 

Detroit's airport is closed because of snowstorms a lot, isn't it?

As sucky as all airlines are, USAir still provides free booze on the shuttle. That makes major amends. Or at least makes the post-beverage-cart part of the flight tolerable.

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

$30,000 really isn't that much after taxes and stuff. I guess I could start buying a higher quality of monkey porn, but that's about it.

Attention Please
 

Airline employees are among the rudest people on Earth. It might be because they constantly have to deal with stressed out, rude fats, but they all need to be beaten and then made to stand on one of their own damn lines. They are only one step above cabbies (who should be rounded up and slapped, then shot).

TM

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

There's nothing sadder than a young primate with no ambition.

Attention Please
 

I would put cabbies first, but then I drive more than I fly. And if you think airline employees are the rudest, you haven't eaten in many D.C. restaurants.

Attention Please
 

I am pretty sure that you borrowed the phrase "fuck-all" from someone else on the board, but I can't recall who.

Looks good on you, though.

Attention Please
 

Here's the thing. A cancelled flight may or may not be their (as in the airline's) fault. But god help you if you tell me that the flight has been cancelled and my best option is to go home and wait for the next flight out, 5 hours later, because you don't fucking feel like getting me on a flight on another airline, you fat, lazy, rude, stupid, piece of shit. And when the woman next to you begrudgingly reveals that it is no problem to put me on another flight because I have just told you that I have a very important meeting I have to make, don't flash her a look that says "You are undermining my bullshit by helping this person out."

TM

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

Transla...Actually, is it even necessary? You all can see what's coming.

TM

Attention Please
 

And people call ME bitchy.

Attention Please
 

Clearly, you haven't learned Flinty's strategem of melting the defenses of sclerotic service bureaucracies -- sobbing.

http://www.netzeitung.de/img/0072/148272.jpg

Attention Please
 

On second thought, I think it was a good decision for you not to drink coffee. The world is a much safer place for cabbies and ticket agents.

Attention Please
 

I love to jump in the cab in midtown, close the door firmly, lean foward to the little hatch in the greasy, smeared, bullet-proof partition and watch their faces when I say "going to Brooklyn." No, muthafucka, you're not off-duty.

Attention Please
 

Did the resulting confrontation get you DQed from Amazing Race 8 (or is it 9 at this point?)?

Attention Please
 

And if that doesn't work, I show them the goods.

Attention Please
 

No. The photo I submitted with my application for the 3rd season did that long ago.

TM

Boston's in the solar system, right?
 

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system.

Boston's in the solar system, right?
 

What the fuck has gotten into you today? And did it hurt?

Attention Please
 

I hope they don't then pull out the 15 air fresheners they've got on reserve in the glove compartment and unwrap them, turn up the talk radio, talk loudly on the cellphone, and then accelerate-brake, accelerate-brake, accelerate-brake the whole way home.

Attention Please
 

They just raised the rates here citywide. All that means is that I'll tip less. Fuck them. Fuck all of them.

Boston's in the solar system, right?
 

I was going to keep it up until Paigs figured out the joke, but that is asking too much, so I guess I'll stop with the Dan Quayle references, and go back to my normal mastubatory excercises.

Attention Please
 

There have been times I've prayed for even a single air-freshener. I've ridden with the windows open in February on the FDR doing 60 mph just to try to blow the stank out. You know the kind of B.O. that actually sticks to your clothes?

Attention Please
 

When cabbies do that when I'm in their ride, I show them by vomiting all over their shoes.

Attention Please
 

That used to happen to me when they raised the price of the newspapers. You cheapo.

In DC they added a $1 fuel surcharge to every trip. That won't affect my tipping, what does affect my tipping is when the bastard tries to game the zone system and claim we crossed a zone a block before my destination. Fuck. you.

And what is with the fucking air fresheners? It does NOT cover up your body stink! (And Coltrane, while I'm on the subject, neither does your AXE.)

Attention Please
 

They let you sit in front?

Attention Please
 

fuck! I think they've been telling me it was a $2 surcharge. Thanks for sparing me another overpriced cab ride last night.

Attention Please
 

I didn't know this wasn't limited to the idiots in New York. Who drives an automatic with two fucking feet?

TM

Attention Please
 

Projectile, my man. Projectile.

Attention Please
 

Are you paying with blowjobs?

TM

Attention Please
 

I don't think that would get me two blocks. Who do you think I am? Gwink?

Boston's in the solar system, right?
 

All is well in my world again.


The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

Attention Please
 

Please. She doesn't pay with blowjobs. This is dtb we're talking about here. Show a little class.

[pause]

She tips with blowjobs. Sheesh.

Attention Please
 

Francis was naturally thinking of his own preferred method of payment.

Attention Please
 

Women throw up on your shoes after blowing you?

Back to the good ole days, greed
 

you can take the money AND interview.