FUPA
 

My cousin Bruce tells me it only gets better as you’re broken in... Damn you, now I must rearrange my Nordic daydream. And I just can’t see a spindly pale Flower carrying you up that hill... Not that you’re fat. He’s just so... sickly?

FUPA
 

Spinning really does little to build the upper body.

Oooh ooh. Some men are sexually turned off watching their wives give birth. Surprise, fucking surprise. And, damn, I'm sure she's all excited to jump in the sack right then and there.

Waiting room, magazine and cigar. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

Why anyone would want to watch that is beyond me. A friend of mine saw his wife deliver by C Section. He said she asked how things were going and he looked at her guts, looked back at her, and smiled “Oh, excellent.”

I ain’t watching that shit. Who am I kidding? I'm shooting blanks.

I'm beginning to understand the origin of the pejorative meaning of the word "pussy."

How you gonna smoke it? That twerp you have running the city kicked all the smokers out of town.

FUPA
 

Or Las Vegas.

http://www.cbsnews.com/images/2003/1...mage576642.jpg
Saying you are not gay does not make you not gay.

You can appreciate how this can cut both ways in this context. I trust you mean the cigar chomping dinosaur.

Wow. You want us to be both there, supportive, and erect? Tough crowd.

I don't even want to watch it. I am very attracted to myself and I would hate to lose that spark.

Then why do people videotape it?

Since we're on the subject
 

In other gynecological news, scientists have now isolated and captured one of Thurgreed's Momma's crabs:

http://www.truthorfiction.com/images/tsunam7.jpg

Researchers believe this discovery could lead to breakthroughs in disease control, bioweaponry and general nasty stankness.

ETA: If you're insinuating that I'm a pussy for not wanting to see the gory mess that even the most uneventful delivery entails, all I can say is "meeee-ow."

California dreamin', or "God damn it, get me one that looks like that."
 

So much for Not Bob & Associates LLP opening that Bakersfield office. Recent California Supreme Court decision on sexual harassment. (male executive instructed his female subordinate to fire another subordinate and get him someone "hot" instead)

From the opinion:

• After the tour, Wiswall instructed Yanowitz to terminate the employment of a dark-skinned female sales associate because he did not find the woman to be sufficiently physically attractive. Wiswall expressed a preference for fair-skinned blondes and directed Yanowitz to “[g]et me somebody hot,” or words to that effect. On a return trip to the store, Wiswall discovered that the sales associate had not been dismissed. He reiterated to Yanowitz that he wanted the associate terminated and complained that Yanowitz had failed to do so. He passed “a young attractive blonde girl, very sexy,” on his way out, turned to Yanowitz, and told her, “God damn it, get me one that looks like that.”

2. I didn't even see the wife and kid till the next day. Gave the little lady time to get cleaned up and all. She had enough on her plate that day w/o having to worry about looking good for me.

I can see discussing it and agreeing that he does not have to leave the head area -- that he doesn't have to see what she doesn't see. It should be enough to be there. I mean, we don't have spouses sitting in on surgeries and stuff, it doesn't seem like, and why do they have that drape over the woman's legs (so that she can't see it as it comes out) if not to shield her view? OK, maybe that's a TV thing and doesn't happen in real life. Maybe women do look on as the doctor widens the episiotomy (episiostomy?). It seems like a very personal decision, since it is pretty blood-ridden and many people are fearful of hospitals etc. Shit, my blood pressure would be way up just being in a hospital at all, and then to watch someone I loved being essentially torn open and in a ton of pain? And I'm completely helpless? And I kinda feel like it's my fault? I would want the least gory view possible. And if I thought I couldn't handle it, I would want the person's best friend or something there instead.

Because as a general matter "people" are inferior to me.

While we're all opining on child birth,
 

T-minus 8 hours for an Atticus Delivery-Related Post.

That is all.

Exactly. And you ordered takeout the first night, too, right? I mean, fair is fair.

Why? Why would the best friend want to be there? No. No. No.

Seems fair in Hank's case, as it's unlikely his wife even wanted him in the room when the child was conceived.

Of course.

Son of a bitch
 

Crap. I wasted my 5000th post for that. I suck.

Yeah, that's mainly a tv thing. Or at least if the drape is there it goes away. No, doc is right there up in you - apparently doesn't want anything in the way. Mine even made me grab the baby and pull her out. ::gross post of the day::

Punctuation Day Redux
 

And I get shit for stretching my limited vocabulary to insult Flower.

Were the nurses on strike or something?

Mother of God.

No expert am I in the details of childbirthin', but where in the hell did the doc make you do that? I never thought the news stories about the impact of nursing shortages would be quite so literal.

eta - SHIT!

No, there were plenty of people around. He thought I would *want* to do this. I was feeling no pain (as we know) so I didn't bother to argue after my first wtf.

Peace. Out.
 

Then you could at least have had Atticus pitch in and help since he was just standing around and all.

Punctuation Day Redux
 

Drunk, please. That's not limited vocabulary, it's bad grammar. Leave me be, as I calmly await the taste of dtb's lash.

Revisiting Crappy Credit Stuff
 

So, I know you are all dying to help me out more with my Credit-Impaired Ex-Husband and resulting credit woes, so here it is:

Bank is saying that they made some efforts to contact me (calls to some number they had on file 6 years ago or whatever) and that the only way this comes off my credit is if I pay off entire amount. I may have a couple of months to do so, we haven't really gone into specifics because I did not agree on the phone that I would do so.

I'm 99% sure that they did not follow the letter of the state fair credit reporting law, which requires the mailing of notice w/i 30 days of putting something on my account. I need t owait to see the letter that they claim they mailed in July that I never received to confirm.

I could also settle the debt with them for less, I'm sure, but a write-off/settled claim will be on my credit for the next 7 years or whatever (I know I can send in a comment, but the effect on my overall score is what matters to this needs-to-rent-an-apartment-soon chick).

I can go after ex and get a judgment, and maybe even garnishment of wages at his new job that is supposed to solve all his credit woes. I'd guess, given the way he spends money as compared to the way he earns money, he'll be able to pay me like $100 per month for the rest of his life. Factor in that he is a smoker, a drinker and has only one kidney (christ).

What do I do? Should I really settle for less and put up with crappy credit that is not my fault? That so goes against my instincts because I hate the idea of being punished for his crappy lifestyle.

Finally, is the break the kneecaps offer still good?

Punctuation Day Redux
 

Timmy, police thyself. I love a public lashing.

Peace. Out.
 

Ya know, if they're content just standing around, I figure trying to draw them in at that point is just asking for trouble.

Revisiting Crappy Credit Stuff
 

Before deciding on anything, as I mentioned before, you should dispute EVERYTHING the bank says in writing. Even though you signed on as a guarantor, you have some basis to complain about the bank's method of seeking to recover the debt from you. You don't know that a very assertively worded letter citing the crap out of state and federal fair credit reporting requirements won't cause them to step back. If you can cite a technical violation, you are on pretty good ground to get some concessions.

There is nothing to stop you from demanding that they remove the negative report from your credit report by sending corrections to the credit bureaus, and if that works (it very well may), THEN you can try to negotiate a settlement for x cents on the dollar. They can't do you any more harm with respect to credit reporting than they already have, so an assertive but not abusive letter may do you more good than you anticipate.

Only pay it off to avoid the negative credit report after you're certain you can't get it removed, even if only temporarily. That will buy you time to get into your apartment -- although it seems unlikely this could hurt your chances. The landlord should be more interested in your debt-to-income than in one aberrant negative report relating to a deadbeat ex.

And remember: calling will not preserve your rights.

Isn't there a mom's and dad's board for this totally squicky stuff? I'm going to post about hockey, which is my equivalent of putting my fingers in my ears and going lalala while I read this post.

So, um, looks like Dany Heatly is going to Ottawa.
that's about it for today.

FUPA
 

Not any more.

That's the mom and dad board not the lets-describe-in-blood-and-gore-guts board.

FUPA
 

It's sort of the polar (npi) opposite of the dog knot situation. The pole hasn;t changed dimensions; Weed has simply developed an incredibly powerful shpincter from clenching it so long.

However, I have to confess that I am not sure if I am more impressed or saddened that you possess such truly deviant knowledge. It's like getting a little flash in a meeting and finding that you aren't wearing panties. A little sexy, but not quite copy-editor sexy, IYKWIM.

FUPA
 

Pity works for some guys. Maybe pity is doing okay by Weed.

Revisiting Crappy Credit Stuff
 

Have a couple drinks tonight and read this, and pretend it's some friend asking for your advice. This will remove the emotional component, I think. My instinct is to do what rp said and, if nothing else works, to pay up so that your credit is intact and then garnish his wages or consider it a loss and move on or whatever.

I say this mainly because I did a stupid STUPID STUPID money thing last night for emotional reasons, something that in retrospect I would NEVER have told a friend to do, EVER EVER EVER, and the realtor did not stop me or even caution me and I am now drinking in the middle of the day after being chewed out (justifiably) (and in a friendly, loving way) by my sibling and my boss/work friend) for being so fucking stupid.

But it worked out OK. Or is supposed to. Who knows.



ETA and sorry gwinky. and nfh, I would have gone to the hospital with a friend whose husband wasn't up to it but she gave birth 10 weeks early while we were each on vacation away from the city in which we both lived, so it didn't work out.