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NotFromHere 05-23-2005 07:06 PM
Gay Bar
 
Electric 6's Gay bar. With a twist.

spree: sound. George Bush.

SlaveNoMore 05-23-2005 07:06 PM
Cheapskate
 
Quote:
paigowprincess
I think ltl needs a place to stay for the long weekend.

signed

a poster approaching her five thousandth anniversary.
Begging the question, "Will this 5000-plus poster who relies on the generosity of everyone else EVER contribute a single fucking cent to the website she so often avoids work with???"

futbol fan 05-23-2005 07:07 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
my mother-in-law detested me.
Not quite Henny Youngman, but promising material nonetheless. Have you considered using a violin?

My mother-in-law and I get along like a house on fire. My mother and my wife not so much. One of the rules I live by when in the presence of wife and mother is to never mention the bitterly contested battlefield that was our wedding guestlist. Or the wedding itself, for that matter. During the run-up to that little shindig I was ready to take contracts out on both of them. They don't know how lucky they are to be alive today.

Flinty_McFlint 05-23-2005 07:08 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
They didn't do that at this wedding. No clink-clinking at all. No dollar dance either actually. This is not to say the wedding was schmaltz-free. Instead of the clink clink thing, they had people come up to a microphone and tell a story about the bride and groom in order to make them kiss. I did not tell a story. Mainly what I did do was (a) drink (not so much as to get sick), (b) look as unbored as possible and (c) listen to a lot of family gossip. I also was accidently nearly responsible for making a (pseudo) sister-in-law (not the bride) pass out by 2:00 p.m. when I ordered her a Bacardi O on the rocks instead of the Bacardi O wine cooler type thing she was expecting. I had no idea there was such a thing as a Bacardi O cooler. Live and learn.
So spill, who's shacking up with who, and who got the plastic surgery?

SlaveNoMore 05-23-2005 07:08 PM
Kids these days
 
Quote:
Shape Shifter
Think about how different your life would be if she were only the second part.
...I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one traveled by 865 prior guys,
And that has made all the difference

Mister_Ruysbroeck 05-23-2005 07:09 PM
Kids these days
 
Quote:
Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
I've [fucked] you - and it's definitely "Fucking Lunatic"
Fixed.

But it sounds like a compliment now.

paigowprincess 05-23-2005 07:11 PM
Kids these days
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Think about how different your life would be if she were only the second part.
You are the only person who replies to his posts anymore. If that isnt love, then what is?

Pretty Little Flower 05-23-2005 07:11 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ironweed
Not quite Henny Youngman, but promising material nonetheless. Have you considered using a violin?

My mother-in-law and I get along like a house on fire. My mother and my wife not so much. One of the rules I live by when in the presence of wife and mother is to never mention the bitterly contested battlefield that was our wedding guestlist. Or the wedding itself, for that matter. During the run-up to that little shindig I was ready to take contracts out on both of them. They don't know how lucky they are to be alive today.
Yes, I'm sure they are both super lucky to be alive. Because you always strike me as a total badass gangsta type.

Have you seen the new American Express ads featuring Jose Mourinho?

futbol fan 05-23-2005 07:12 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Yes, I'm sure they are both super lucky to be alive. Because you always strike me as a total badass gangsta type.

Have you seen the new American Express ads featuring Jose Mourinho?
You are the only person who replies to my posts anymore. If that isn't love, what is?

Pretty Little Flower 05-23-2005 07:13 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
They didn't do that at this wedding. No clink-clinking at all. No dollar dance either actually. This is not to say the wedding was schmaltz-free. Instead of the clink clink thing, they had people come up to a microphone and tell a story about the bride and groom in order to make them kiss. I did not tell a story. Mainly what I did do was (a) drink (not so much as to get sick), (b) look as unbored as possible and (c) listen to a lot of family gossip. I also was accidently nearly responsible for making a (pseudo) sister-in-law (not the bride) pass out by 2:00 p.m. when I ordered her a Bacardi O on the rocks instead of the Bacardi O wine cooler type thing she was expecting. I had no idea there was such a thing as a Bacardi O cooler. Live and learn.
Did she nearly pass out because she is a lightweight who became incredibly intoxicated from drinking one non-wine cooler drink, or because she was so shocked that was not receiving her wine cooler thingie?

sebastian_dangerfield 05-23-2005 07:13 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
My ex's mom always acted like she liked me, but I suspected otherwise. Maybe because I refused to believe that Hilary Clinton is the anti-christ (and did we mention she's a huge lesbian?!?).

Mr Man's mom seems to like me. I haven't made my views on Hilary Clinton known to her yet though.
My mom hates Hillary, but when I quiz her about why, she just throws a pile of vitriol into the air. I don't get it. I don't care much about Hillary in either direction.

My in laws like me. My family likes my wife twice as much as they like me. They always get her drunk and ask her what the hell is the matter with me.

dtb 05-23-2005 07:16 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
My in laws like me. My family likes my wife twice as much as they like me. They always get her drunk and ask her what the hell is the matter with me.
Well???!?

What's the answer?

Shape Shifter 05-23-2005 07:17 PM
Kids these days
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
You are the only person who replies to his posts anymore. If that isnt love, then what is?
I think sunnybunny does also. I'm in strong company.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-23-2005 07:18 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
Well???!?

What's the answer?
Jesus, if I knew that, I'd be...

Well I wouldn't be what I am. I think.

notcasesensitive 05-23-2005 07:19 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Did she nearly pass out because she is a lightweight who became incredibly intoxicated from drinking one non-wine cooler drink, or because she was so shocked that was not receiving her wine cooler thingie?
Is "both" one of the choices?

Pretty Little Flower 05-23-2005 07:20 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Is "both" one of the choices?
You're always thinking outside the box.

robustpuppy 05-23-2005 07:23 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
You're always thinking outside the box.
Too tired for more than snarky comments from the peanut gallery today?

Mr. Man 05-23-2005 07:23 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Did she nearly pass out because she is a lightweight who became incredibly intoxicated from drinking one non-wine cooler drink, or because she was so shocked that was not receiving her wine cooler thingie?
In her defense: (1) it was the largest glass of bartender poured "pure" booze I have ever seen; and (2) she subsequently laid a whooping on NCS at darts. There may also have been a few cans of Pabst that were consumed previously on the party bus.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-23-2005 07:23 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ironweed
Not quite Henny Youngman, but promising material nonetheless. Have you considered using a violin?

My mother-in-law and I get along like a house on fire. My mother and my wife not so much. One of the rules I live by when in the presence of wife and mother is to never mention the bitterly contested battlefield that was our wedding guestlist. Or the wedding itself, for that matter. During the run-up to that little shindig I was ready to take contracts out on both of them. They don't know how lucky they are to be alive today.
Well, at least you didn't get some older relatives piping in about how you needed to have a full Catholic Mass. I think I cut of a whole wing of the older generation of my family by saying that such a lengthy production would be rude to the majority of non-Catholic guests.

Take a note - having a full [insert religion] ceremony with your marriage is fucking rude if you've a lot of non [insert religion] guests. The guests should be in and out in 25 minutes and drinking within 45 minutes of your and your old lady pressing your ugly mugs together. Anything less is exceedingly prole.

Replaced_Texan 05-23-2005 07:27 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Take a note - having a full [insert religion] ceremony with your marriage is fucking rude if you've a lot of non [insert religion] guests. The guests should be in and out in 25 minutes and drinking within 45 minutes of your and your old lady pressing your ugly mugs together. Anything less is exceedingly prole.
Do what my dad does. Skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception. Usually no one notices, especially if he sends a delegation to the service.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone 05-23-2005 07:30 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Well, at least you didn't get some older relatives piping in about how you needed to have a full Catholic Mass. I think I cut of a whole wing of the older generation of my family by saying that such a lengthy production would be rude to the majority of non-Catholic guests.

Take a note - having a full [insert religion] ceremony with your marriage is fucking rude if you've a lot of non [insert religion] guests. The guests should be in and out in 25 minutes and drinking within 45 minutes of your and your old lady pressing your ugly mugs together. Anything less is exceedingly prole.
Even better if drinking starts pre-ceremony and continues during the ceremony. The couple of times I've experienced that, I appreciated it.

notcasesensitive 05-23-2005 07:33 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Man
In her defense: (1) it was the largest glass of bartender poured "pure" booze I have ever seen; and (2) she subsequently laid a whooping on NCS at darts. There may also have been a few cans of Pabst that were consumed previously on the party bus.
Hey, you picked me as a teammate. Even with the advance knowledge of my general darts suckatude. No sour grapes allowed now.

paigowprincess 05-23-2005 07:34 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Even better if drinking starts pre-ceremony and continues during the ceremony. The couple of times I've experienced that, I appreciated it.
Nah, do what I do. Buy a sixteen ounce plastic bottle of odwalla. Dump out two thirds of it and pour in some RedBull and ketel ONe. People think you aer just having a nutritional breakfast.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 05-23-2005 07:37 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Do what my dad does. Skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception. Usually no one notices, especially if he sends a delegation to the service.
My dad is allergic to church. He does the same thing.

Tyrone Slothrop 05-23-2005 07:37 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Hey, you picked me as a teammate. Even with the advance knowledge of my general darts suckatude. No sour grapes allowed now.
Manischewitz only?

robustpuppy 05-23-2005 07:37 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
Nah, do what I do. Buy a sixteen ounce plastic bottle of odwalla. Dump out two thirds of it and pour in some RedBull and ketel ONe. People think you aer just having a nutritional breakfast.
Red Bull is either the most misunderstood beverage ever, or the vilest liquid ever purported to be intended for human consumption. If forced to either fuck Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson while watching Starsky and Hutch and Meet the Parents in a marathon or drink a Red Bull, I'm really not sure which I'd choose.

futbol fan 05-23-2005 07:38 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Well, at least you didn't get some older relatives piping in about how you needed to have a full Catholic Mass.
You should have seen the look on my Jewish best man's face when the holy water hit him.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-23-2005 07:39 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Red Bull is either the most misunderstood beverage ever, or the vilest liquid ever purported to be intended for human consumption. If forced to either fuck Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson while watching Starsky and Hutch and Meet the Parents in a marathon or drink a Red Bull, I'm really not sure which I'd choose.
Its like coffee. You don't drink it for taste.

paigowprincess 05-23-2005 07:39 PM
I hope zipper cat and beer pyramid cat are ok
 
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/dead_cats

spree: see the last two words of the link.

Oliver_Wendell_Ramone 05-23-2005 07:40 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ironweed
You should have seen the look on my Jewish best man's face when the holy water hit him.
Could you see his face, what with all the smoke?

sebastian_dangerfield 05-23-2005 07:41 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ironweed
You should have seen the look on my Jewish best man's face when the holy water hit him.
You should have seen the look on mine when he realized someone was videotaping him in the back of the church when he smiled and said "So this is where they rape the altar boys" to my entire wedding party.

robustpuppy 05-23-2005 07:41 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its like coffee. You don't drink it for taste.
So Red Bull is like fucking Ben Stiller - you don't do it because you find him attractive.

If coffee were vile, I would find another source of caffeine or a caffeine-like boost.

paigowprincess 05-23-2005 07:41 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its like coffee. You don't drink it for taste.
I drink coffee for the scent, taste and the effect. Red Bull tastes like raspberry metal.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 05-23-2005 07:42 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by robustpuppy
Red Bull is either the most misunderstood beverage ever, or the vilest liquid ever purported to be intended for human consumption. If forced to either fuck Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson while watching Starsky and Hutch and Meet the Parents in a marathon or drink a Red Bull, I'm really not sure which I'd choose.
Now you're just being a snob. Owen's character in MTP is pretty damn funny. The rest of that movie is shit.

NotFromHere 05-23-2005 07:42 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Take a note - having a full [insert religion] ceremony with your marriage is fucking rude if you've a lot of non [insert religion] guests. The guests should be in and out in 25 minutes and drinking within 45 minutes of your and your old lady pressing your ugly mugs together. Anything less is exceedingly prole.
True. However, sometimes the priest tells you, during the rehearsal, that he's going to keep the service under half an hour only to later lie the next day and turn the ceremony into a 45 minute knees-locked-try-not-to-faint-while-holding-the-heaviest-bridesmaid-bouquet-ever-made marathon.

robustpuppy 05-23-2005 07:44 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
True. However, sometimes the priest tells you, during the rehearsal, that he's going to keep the service under half an hour only to later lie the next day and turn the ceremony into a 45 minute knees-locked-try-not-to-faint-while-holding-the-heaviest-bridesmaid-bouquet-ever-made marathon.
Fucking lying bastard priests, out on the loose torturing bridesmaids.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-23-2005 07:52 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
I drink coffee for the scent, taste and the effect. Red Bull tastes like raspberry metal.
Hey, it is what it is. Until they make something other drink that wires you, I'm stuck drinking it.

ltl/fb 05-23-2005 07:55 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Hey, it is what it is. Until they make something other drink that wires you, I'm stuck drinking it.
Um, coffee?

notcasesensitive 05-23-2005 08:02 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ltl/fb
Um, coffee?
You're always thinking inside the box.

ltl/fb 05-23-2005 08:10 PM
Rules To Live By
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
You're always thinking inside the box.
Really usually it's more every other week. Kind of like a sine wave.


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