Speaking of salty
 

I don't like the cat watching me jack off. He's a friend. I wouldn't jack off in front of my male friends. Once I whack off in front of the cat, the relationship is ruined. I've no respect for him.

Now, the fat dumb female cat we have... I could probably fire one off in front of her. problem is, she'd probably try to...

No. No. I'm just going to stop writing right... now.

Speaking of salty
 

My dogs don't usually get involved. The Displaced Dog curls up on the floor and goes to sleep and the Puppy (will be two at the end of the month, can you believe it?) tends to get annoyed that someone's on her side of the bed and leaves after trying to claim a pillow.

She's a morning person, though, so she loves to jump onto my chest and give all sorts of kisses and demand tummy rubs as soon as I wake up. If someone's in my bed, she'll spread the love. I'm not a morning person, so I'm more than happy to foist her on someone else.

She's very lucky she's cute.

ETA: They're usually asleep when I masturbate and have no interest at all in the process if they happen to be awake. They are very suspicious of the bathroom due to a hatred of baths, so they don't go in there unless I'm in the shower.

Speaking of salty
 

Would you have sex with your wife in front of male friends? Because you already said it's not a problem when the cat is there for that.

Do you think the female cat do something sort of same-sex-sexy, or would she be more of a man's woman?

Speaking of salty
 

Infantile amnesia is probably fairly good insurance against your fears, unless you are an obstinate freudian.

Speaking of salty
 

As for sex in front of the pets, it can be rather disconcerting to look over mid-act and see gigantic labrador eyes, perfectly level with your grinding pelvises, staring at you. Now I would think a border collie or a german shepherd could handle it, but the dumb-faced yellow labrador actually looks confused and traumatized. Not that it stops me, but it has sometimes thrown me off for a moment.

I also have scars from this time that a rambunctious kitten got very jealous about the attention someone else was getting and scratched and bit my feet while they were hanging off the bed. Naughty little cat.

Speaking of salty
 

I'd love to have sex in front of people, but when I think of this, I imagine them being mostly women, and I imagine them not being creepy freaky middle aged swingers, which is what I understand frequents the places where one can have sex in public.

Unless you are in Miami.

Speaking of salty
 

You should have seen the girl in my college dorm room who hadn't realized that I had a boa constrictor next to the bed until . . . Well, it was very unsatisfying.

Speaking of salty
 

I've heard of people who also think its ok to walk around the house nude even though you've got kids. Uh uh. That whole area of behavior is ccreepy.

I would really like it
 

Doesn't it kind of smell like weak Clorox or cleanser of some sort?

Speaking of salty
 

I saw an interview with Luke Walton where he said something to the effect of nothing could faze him, having grown up with the frequent sight of Jerry Garcia walking nekkid through his back yard.

Speaking of salty
 

That quite possibly could scar me for life.

Speaking of salty
 

I think one has to use one's best parental judgment, which, given the requirements for parenthood, can be questionable.

In my experience, being naked in front of an infant is no different than having sex in front of an infant. Being a dad of daughters, mostly, I stopped walking around the house naked when the kids were around when the first born was about 18 mos-2. Of course at a certain stage, 4-5, they notice that you are very guarded about being naked in front of them and want to know why.

Why bilmore, why?

Speaking of salty
 

I'm guessing you don't possess a writhing love anaconda.

Unbroken Chain
 

Its still better than hearing Phil sing.

Speaking of salty
 

I used to share a lockeroom with Wilt Chamberlein. Even Hank couldn't stand up to that pressure. On the internet.