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-   -   Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=680)

Replaced_Texan 05-09-2005 10:14 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
You are now once again my favorite poster. I don't know what I was thinking earlier.
*sigh* (again)

Flinty_McFlint 05-09-2005 10:41 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
You are now once again my favorite poster. I don't know what I was thinking earlier.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
*sigh* (again)
Confidential to RT: I just said that to Hank to distract him from attacking me again. We both know that you have always been my favorite. Snack food cake?

Spread Mycrabski 05-09-2005 10:44 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
You are now once again my favorite poster. I don't know what I was thinking earlier.
That is because you have not yet met I

Hank Chinaski 05-09-2005 11:05 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
You are now once again my favorite poster. I don't know what I was thinking earlier.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Confidential to RT: I just said that to Hank to distract him from attacking me again. We both know that you have always been my favorite. Snack food cake?
Whiff! Rt was effectively saying "2" professing her admiration for me. You see, chicks dig a guy who can discuss fecal bacteria without seeming sophmoristic.

and if you ever want to have a 5th generation tribute sock you have really got to stick with the program. no hate- just Tough love!

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:07 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Paris sells goods while I punch a fucking clock. The fucking irony. [Sebby] Why the fuck am I working in a service industry again?[/Sebby]

I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.
So the old lady got me some light pink pants, and they fit nice, and they're pretty solid J Crew stuff (in catalogue this year). Nice, casual fit. I plan to wear the fuckers, but a friend claims I'll look like Fred Schneider. I say fuck it. They're nice pants. Whats the verdict on pink pants?

pony_trekker 05-09-2005 11:10 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Whats the verdict on pink pants?
G A Y

Brad Pitt 05-09-2005 11:11 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
What? You didn't totally love him in fight club?
http://metaphilm.com/images/pheatures/guilt-fight-2.jpg
Some of my best work. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Replaced_Texan 05-09-2005 11:11 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
So the old lady got me some light pink pants, and they fit nice, and they're pretty solid J Crew stuff (in catalogue this year). Nice, casual fit. I plan to wear the fuckers, but a friend claims I'll look like Fred Schneider. I say fuck it. They're nice pants. Whats the verdict on pink pants?
I say fuck it.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:12 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Paris sells goods while I punch a fucking clock. The fucking irony. [Sebby] Why the fuck am I working in a service industry again?[/Sebby]

I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.
Money makes money. She dumped more dough into getting famous than most people make when they become famous. Whatever she makes now, she'll spend twice it trying to buy herself back into fame on the slow ride down after her 45 minutes are up. I'd say she'll break even in the end. When she's 40, you might even be able to fuck her. But by then, she'll look like ET.

Spread Mycrabski 05-09-2005 11:12 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Whiff! Rt was effectively saying "2" professing her admiration for me. You see, chicks dig a guy who can discuss fecal bacteria without seeming sophmoristic.

and if you ever want to have a 5th generation tribute sock you have really got to stick with the program. no hate- just Tough love!
I am a first generation tribute sock. I have moved away from the ass theme, crossed the River Taint, and pitched a tent in the pubular region. also known as the Netherlands.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:15 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by pony_trekker
G A Y
Yeh, that's the funny part. I don't look very gay, so people would just look at me and think "colorblind."

Hank Chinaski 05-09-2005 11:15 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
So the old lady got me some light pink pants, and they fit nice, and they're pretty solid J Crew stuff (in catalogue this year). Nice, casual fit. I plan to wear the fuckers, but a friend claims I'll look like Fred Schneider. I say fuck it. They're nice pants. Whats the verdict on pink pants?
Dude! go for it! wearing them is no worse than you asking the question, or wifey thinking you might wear them and buying them.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:16 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I say fuck it.
Hey, i already do bright yellow.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:18 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Dude! go for it! wearing them is no worse than you asking the question, or wifey thinking you might wear them and buying them.
You are the Logic King. If I were gay, I let you wallpaper my bathroom.

Spread Mycrabski 05-09-2005 11:20 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You are the Logic King. If I were gay, I let you wallpaper my bathroom.
I am the Logic King. Why are you penning posts about pink panties at 10:15?

Tyrone Slothrop 05-09-2005 11:21 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by pony_trekker
G A Y
If you can wear them with that certain security -- a self-confidence, say, but not too self-confident or you're sunk -- then you can pull it off. But unless you're a trapeze artist, what pony_trekker said.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:25 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I was a long time lurker and I remember Sebby talking about kissing a bar pick up who starting licking his ass a few minutes later. He thought he'd be okay if he didn't kiss her anymore. Someone explained unless his was her first ass he'd already been sucking at fecal bacteria, and someone else's at that. you can't clean that off. Maybe once he realized that, using one razor for both was like---ehhhh.
It was like, a half hour after I got her home.

Dude, I did NOT kiss her after she ate my ass. But would i be lying if I said I never kissed her? Of course I would. But not the evening after she did the ass eating.

And to you I say "whatever..." Like you never drunkenly kissed a girl who'd just given you a hummer. We've all been snowballed, and every woman I've ever performed connilingus on has tasted her pubes. I can help getting the damn things caught in my teeth.

Perhaps I should've dated more strippers. Perhaps I should have dated any strippers. Fuck, what was my point? Oh, your wife knows what her pubes taste like. Thats what made that episode of Curb so great. It worked on so many levels.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-09-2005 11:28 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Spread Mycrabski
I am the Logic King. Why are you penning posts about pink panties at 10:15?
Cable's out and I can't masturbate again.

ETA: I can. But I shouldn't.

Pretty Little Flower 05-10-2005 12:23 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
And to you I say "whatever..." Like you never drunkenly kissed a girl who'd just given you a hummer. We've all been snowballed . . .
And to you I say "whatever..." Why would I kiss a girl after she has fellated me? Why would I even talk to her? I am done. No further interaction or communication necessary. I will kiss a girl before she fellates me. if she is a hottie and kissing her adds to the fellatio experience. But once the fellatio has been completed, there is no point. And I will not suffer any protestion from the girl post-fellatio about the lack of post-fellatio chatter or smoochy smoochy. Because I know and she knows that she will fellate me again, regardless of whether I chat her up or engage in some other form of post-fellatio intimacy. Because I know and she knows that the look in my eyes as I achieve fellatio-induced orgasm is ample reward for her, and nothing further is required or even appropriate.

lo-berry 05-10-2005 12:32 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
And to you I say "whatever..." Why would I kiss a girl after she has fellated me? Why would I even talk to her? I am done. No further interaction or communication necessary. I will kiss a girl before she fellates me. if she is a hottie and kissing her adds to the fellatio experience. But once the fellatio has been completed, there is no point. And I will not suffer any protestion from the girl post-fellatio about the lack of post-fellatio chatter or smoochy smoochy. Because I know and she knows that she will fellate me again, regardless of whether I chat her up or engage in some other form of post-fellatio intimacy. Because I know and she knows that the look in my eyes as I achieve fellatio-induced orgasm is ample reward for her, and nothing further is required or even appropriate.

Translation: My Jose Mourinhoesque euro-styling loverboy is subservient to me and I only communicate with him in the semiotic fashion of orally delivered cream pies.

Pretty Little Flower 05-10-2005 12:39 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by lo-berry
Translation: My Jose Mourinhoesque euro-styling loverboy is subservient to me and I only communicate with him in the semiotic fashion of orally delivered cream pies.
Even though you pretend to sass me, I continue to like the cut of your jib. You've got the irreverent mojo this board desperately needs if it is to avoid slipping into complacency and irrelevance. Let's face it, nobody else is going to wake this board up. Not Sebastian, with his quasi-gonzo ramblings. Not Thurgreed, with his hyper-cranky hissy fits. Not Ironweak, with his increasingly lame attempts at witty repartee. Nope, you're pretty much all we've got. This board needs a swift kick in the ass, and I have a strong feeling that you're the only one left with sharp enough boots.

Anne Elk 05-10-2005 01:01 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Benecio has a sexy aura, but I can't get past the looks-like-he's-been-hit-in-the-face-repeatedly black bags under his eyes.
Has anyone sent him the link for the Neti Pot? Rumor has it that regular neti-ing reduces the appearance of dark circles over time.

Anne Elk 05-10-2005 01:08 AM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
So the old lady got me some light pink pants, and they fit nice, and they're pretty solid J Crew stuff (in catalogue this year). Nice, casual fit. I plan to wear the fuckers, but a friend claims I'll look like Fred Schneider. I say fuck it. They're nice pants. Whats the verdict on pink pants?
If they're not Nantucket Reds, forget it.

Anne Elk 05-10-2005 01:14 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Brad Pitt
Some of my best work. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
So, Brad, are you and Angelina doing the nasty or what? Inquiring minds want to know.

str8outavannuys 05-10-2005 01:16 AM

I'll take "Count Chocula's Friends" for $100 please, Alex.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Speaking of ROTN, they are remaking it (2006). This might be worse than remaking the Bad News Bears. Robert Carradine better have a role.

ETA: Billy Bob as Buttermaker? I stand corrected. This has potential.

http://www.bearssoftball.org/images/buttermaker.jpg
Another one of mine. The crew gifts were fantastic. Including a stuffed bear, a Bears jersey, two pieces of luggage, two caps, etc. etc. Normally we just get a crappy fleece. So everyone go see it. The script is pretty true to the original - so much so that Bill Lancaster (dead for 10 years) got to share in the screenplay credit.

Anne Elk 05-10-2005 01:25 AM

I'll take "Count Chocula's Friends" for $100 please, Alex.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Another one of mine. The crew gifts were fantastic. Including a stuffed bear, a Bears jersey, two pieces of luggage, two caps, etc. etc. Normally we just get a crappy fleece. So everyone go see it. The script is pretty true to the original - so much so that Bill Lancaster (dead for 10 years) got to share in the screenplay credit.
In a colliding worlds kind of way, I once dated Tanner who later appeared in ROTN.

Brad Pitt 05-10-2005 07:18 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Anne Elk
So, Brad, are you and Angelina doing the nasty or what? Inquiring minds want to know.
A gentlemen does not kiss and tell. Or fuck like animals and tell. I am from Missouri, you know.

Anne Elk 05-10-2005 09:30 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Brad Pitt
A gentlemen does not kiss and tell. Or fuck like animals and tell. I am from Missouri, you know.
Does a gentleman leave his wife for another woman? Spill the beans.

Mister_Ruysbroeck 05-10-2005 10:23 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Brad Pitt
Some of my best work. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
YOUR best work?

Off my corner, ho.

Mister_Ruysbroeck 05-10-2005 10:25 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Spread Mycrabski
I am a first generation tribute sock. I have moved away from the ass theme, crossed the River Taint, and pitched a tent in the pubular region. also known as the Netherlands.
That actually made me laugh. Where did you steal it from?

Mister_Ruysbroeck 05-10-2005 10:25 AM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Yeh, that's the funny part. I don't look very gay, ...
Whatever you say.

Not Bob 05-10-2005 10:26 AM

That's right, you're not from Texas.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
I can smell the desperation all the way over here, and I don't think Rene has a smell sniper. A country singer? Are you fucking kidding me? Didn't she learn anything from Julia?
Dude, don't compare Lyle Lovett to Kenny Chesney. Chesney is apparently one of them dudes in hats who are currently popular in country music. Lyle's is really more of a singer-songwriter.

In short, I hate country music, and I like Lyle. So, ipso facto, he ain't country. QED.

Mister_Ruysbroeck 05-10-2005 10:31 AM

That's right, you're not from Texas.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Dude, don't compare Lyle Lovett to Kenny Chesney. Chesney is apparently one of them dudes in hats who are currently popular in country music. Lyle's is really more of a singer-songwriter.

In short, I hate country music, and I like Lyle. So, ipso facto, he ain't country. QED.
You could have but QED after "and I like Lyle."

This board has been pretty dead, lately.

greatwhitenorthchick 05-10-2005 11:09 AM

cure for office ass?
 
I'm gonna get me one of these:

http://www.gadgetuniverse.com/cgi-bi...05051007152904

(some cushion called the Bottom Reformulator that promises to reshape your ass and all you have to do is sit on it - for $29.95, it sounds like a winner)

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 11:16 AM

cure for office ass?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I'm gonna get me one of these:

http://www.gadgetuniverse.com/cgi-bi...09505742&GEN9=

(some cushion called the Bottom Reformulator that promises to reshape your ass and all you have to do is sit on it - for $29.95, it sounds like a winner)
My ass has fallen asleep waiting for this to open.

ThurgreedMarshall 05-10-2005 11:32 AM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Kudos for her going Jew. That's her best bet for a longer an dmore financially sound marriage. At least he wont be with the strippers in vegas blopwing off her not hard earned cash.
Do you sometimes read what you write and want to kick your own ass?

TM

ThurgreedMarshall 05-10-2005 12:00 PM

Fashion Question
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
So the old lady got me some light pink pants, and they fit nice, and they're pretty solid J Crew stuff (in catalogue this year). Nice, casual fit. I plan to wear the fuckers, but a friend claims I'll look like Fred Schneider. I say fuck it. They're nice pants. Whats the verdict on pink pants?
I don't know about the verdict on the pants, but I bet the actual price for you to take it up the ass bears no relation to what you posted the other day.

TM

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 12:10 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Do you sometimes read what you write and want to kick your own ass?

TM
I wasn't sure what she was going for on that one. I stared at it for a while and just gave up. The message seems to be that Jews don't like strippers. I considered asking her about the evidence from which she reached that conclusion. Then I didn't.

Gattigap 05-10-2005 12:26 PM

I'll take "Count Chocula's Friends" for $100 please, Alex.
 
Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
sound


adj. sound·er, sound·est
Free from defect, decay, or damage; in good condition.
Free from disease or injury. See Synonyms at healthy.
Having a firm basis; unshakable: a sound foundation.
Financially secure or safe: a sound economy.

Based on valid reasoning: a sound observation. See Synonyms at valid.
Free from logical flaws: sound reasoning.
Logic. Of or relating to an argument in which all the premises are true and the conclusion follows from the premises.
Thorough; complete: a sound flogging.
Deep and unbroken; undisturbed: a sound sleep.
Free from moral defect; upright.
Worthy of confidence; trustworthy.
Marked by or showing common sense and good judgment; levelheaded: a sound approach to the problem.
Compatible with an accepted point of view; conservative.
Law. Legally valid.

rful vernacular.
Strike two.

Mother of God. I hope you approved your secretary's request for a raise.

dtb 05-10-2005 12:27 PM

?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I wasn't sure what she was going for on that one. I stared at it for a while and just gave up. The message seems to be that Jews don't like strippers. I considered asking her about the evidence from which she reached that conclusion. Then I didn't.
Let me take a crack. (Ha! Crack! Assforest! We laughed and laughed. Oh, how we laughed.)

I think you were on the right track SD. I think paigow was repeating the age-old wisdom (or aphorism, if you will) that Jews make the best husbands, as they are less likely to spend their hard-earned cash on frivolities and fripperies, such as strippers.

I won't comment on recent studies showing that cheap husbands are the least likely to cheat on their wives, and the correlation or non-correlation to Jewishness, and the age-old maxim about Jews and cheapitude.

Because that would be wrong.


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