Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Sebby, don't be dumbest. A daily half hour of exercise is not fanatical.

Rules To Live By
 

Don't feel inadequate. A quick consultation with my old Math Blaster coloring book seems to indicate that these things weren't invented until after we graduated high school.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Only lo berry awards "dumbest." you can no more do that than I can start a poll.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

What about running 70 miles per week?

I can guarantee it doesn't make me physically look better...

But I always feel like I can run through a wall, even when I'm, not running, and I don't get tired or sore doing anything.*

*except for bowling. My god, two games and my wrist is killing me. I'll never make it past the semis.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

See? Think about it long enough and you answer your own question.

"Denise" is not actually a hairdresser; she's a legal secretary or a physician's assistant, or a cocktail waitress at the last three-martini lunch lounge downtown. The reason for the fake tits and the bleached blond hair is so she will look enough like the hookers and strippers that Marv, the divorced-long-enough-to-have-gotten-back-on-his-feet PI lawyer is sick of throwing money at for bodyslides and blowjobs on the road.

She knows that this will enhance her ability to attract Marv's attention. And she knows that Marv will marry her pretty quick because she swallows, and like Marv, she doesn't want any kids.*

From the first blowjob to the first S500 is only a matter of months. And she knows Marv won't ultimately throw her aside for a youngetr version of herself in 10 years because, well, he really doesn't have the looks or style to pull that maneuver off twice.

*Marv doesn't want any more kids because the child support from his first marriage is already costing him a left nut; Denise doesn't want them because pregnancy will fuck up the boob job.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Hey, you're young. You'd look cool in a fat long Benz. Its the old decrepit chicks who look bad in them.

I'd personally love to have a long black S500. It's look so strange for someone my age. So geriatric, but so comfortable.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Me too. I noticed last week that I'm getting obsessive about the treadmill. Could be one addiction for another?

(ncs: Proceed.)

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

That makes you obsessive but not in a vain kinda way. Or maybe it just means you are chasing the dragon. It is pretty hardcore.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Perhaps thats why I have contempt for Denise both pre and post S500. I'd like to believe that at least one thing in this world is not a purchase. Denises, by wearing the sort of shit that attracts a douche like Marv, advertise the fact that for 80% of us, everything is a self centered purchase. They're like glowing billboards reminding you of the low side of humanity.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Who is Debbie again?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Thank you.

I was reading last month's Harpers Bazaar last night (I do not know how I got subscribed to it, but man, it makes me feel poor). There was an article about Ellen Barkin and her marriage to Philadelphia native Ron Perelman. I have just one thing to say. I want to look that good when I am 50. And be married to a guy worth close to what Ronny is worth.

http://crazy4cinema.com/Actress/imgs/barkin.jpg

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Debbie or Black Debbie?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Is "glazed ham" similar to "pressed ham"?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

If you are a top notch Denise, you get a Charlie, even if your tits looks like 25 pound barbells. I wonder if two pregnancies have fucked them up?

Rules To Live By
 

Was he a tough who hung out by the south doors? That seems to be your type.

I had a lengthy and intimate relationship (twice) with someone who went to GWNC's school. She's now somewhat of a public figure in her very narrow academic field, so I'd best say no more about her. Outing myself is one thing. Her, quite another.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

I'm only putting in 25-40 right now. It's embarrassing. I feel like those post-college fratters trying to lose the Milwaukee's Best beer gut who run in their baggy shorts, sleeveless t-shirts and Nike Shox just to go home and throw back a burrito as big as your head from La Bamba.

Wagner Love
 

True dat. It was a very good save on the PK, and he made some other beauts, including one in extra time. However, Lljungberg made what might have been the save of the season with his head off of a point blank header by Van Nistelroy.

Arsenal was really shite. Makes me mad just thinking about it.

Wagner Love
 

Because Flower is too busy IM'ing me to follow the boards.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

I know. Its hard to maintain your obsessive drive when you are happily esconced with a special someone.

And its dangerous when your favorite food is a burrito the size of one of Anna Nicole's fake tits.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

What do old decrepit chicks look cool in? For future reference.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Coffins. Duh.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Hm. Good point. Euthanasia.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

You can just smother yourself with your own hideous breast implants.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

It's actually a great way to get out of the house, think about whatever you want or listen to music.

It's work that's sweatin' me. Who has the key to these bronze handcuffs?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Jags

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Saw this on a pop-up dating service ad. What is Her body language saying?

http://www.plentyoffish.com/dating/1...ing_883543.jpg

She's from windsor.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

One in the pink, none in the stink?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Too true. No car says "impotent" or "drier than beef jerky" better than a Jag.

The mid sized one is also hardcore NoJersey.

Base Running
 

I forgot what we decided the bases are......someone enlighten me please?

First Base = Kissing
Second Base = Hands Over Clothes
Third Base = Hands Under Clothes
Homerun = Deposition
Grand Slam = FFM

Is this correct? Very important that I get responses quickly.

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Am I the only one who thinks that the Jags now just look like Ford Taureses? Why on earth would anyone drive one of those things?

Base Running
 

It seems that oral sex is missing from the line up. Third base?

Base Running
 

I always thought second base was touching the boobies and third base was touching the other fun stuff...

Base Running
 

No

FIrst base is kissing
Second base is up the shirt
Third base is down the pants
Home run is deposition
I didn't know grandslam was a category.

Whats the rush? You teaching a sixth grade health class this afternoon?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

There was a movie years ago about an advertising exec who got sent to a mental institution after he pitched an idea about injecting honesty into advertising. For example, his slogan for Volvo was "They're boxy, but they're good." The slogan for Jags was "For the man who wants to get handjobs from women he hardly knows."

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

Thank you, RT. Now I need to remember all the great things I wanted to say today. Eh. I got nothing. So instead I give you this:

1. Bryson: I enjoyed listening to A Short History of Nearly Everything (or whatever it is called) on the car ride from Dallas to LA. Maybe he is more sufferable (or less insufferable) on tape than he is in print. Or maybe fringey and I are just an easy crowd (wait, don't answer that).

2. Implants: I thought Paigow was pro-Pam Anderson (maybe I misremember). If so, how does she reconcile her general disdain for the implants? If you're gonna do it, make it worthwhile, or what? This has probably been addressed before, but I can't recall.

3. Exercise: I wish I were an addict. I've been trying to figure out how to force myself into an exercise, because right now it is sooo painful to me. I've been getting up early and attending boot camp for 6 weeks now and it is simply awful. Maybe if I had the free time to get really into hiking or something it would be not bad, but exercise for the sake of exercise really blows.

Base Running
 

Must one be clothed for 2nd and 3rd?

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

:stupid:

Holy Implants, Batman!
 

I love Pam Anderson and she is the Madonna of fake tits. Not bc she mixes up their looks, but bc she did it as a business enterprise. And she was basically a first comer. She invented the quasi porn star as legit genre and made a mint from it. And she has a sense of humor about it. Hell, her production company is called BWFT (blonde with fake tits). Its the fugly patchers from Philly and other unsightly hellholes that are tragic.

Base Running
 

No, I just need to know how slutty/good at softball I am.

Base Running
 

Inititally. Otherwise you're at a nudist colony or violating the champagne room laws.