Rejoice
 

I wanna party with YOU!

(Rational basis = the state needs alcohol sales to be conducted face-to-face only, to ensure adult use.)

Rejoice
 

This says more negatively about you than 100 "where can I get a writing sample" posts.

Rejoice
 

I just finished reading the SNL oral history book (forget the exact title "Live From New York" or something) -- given the way that NBC treated Norm (the dude running the network had a blood lust for his head), I'm guessing he had zero interest in making an appearance.

Fascinating book. Who knew that Ben Stiller was a big enough prick to back out of hosting the second live show when they went back on the air after 9/11? Reese Witherspoon can do it, but you can't, Ben? Jerk.

Bill Walton report
 

I've been baying for Bill Walton's blood for years, the fucking knob that he is. If you're ever concerned that your kid is listening to Dead bootlegs and might be experimenting with pot, make them sit down and watch Walton at work. Scared fucking straight.

And Larry "Don't I Remind You Of Howard Cosell, Just A Little Bit? Please?" Merchant, another useless prick, should finally get the postmatch left uppercut he's been begging for for years. That I would pay $50 to see.

Rejoice
 

You seem to be getting a bit complacent on the avatar front. Could you please get your wife started on the following project:

The various avatars should fade into one another on a continuous loop a la Michael "McCauley Doesn't Do It For Me" Jackson's Black or White video.

I'm not a big fan of the moving avatars, but that would be cool. For like 5 minutes at least. 1, 2, 3 ... Go!

Rejoice
 

This really sucks. Y'all are going to drive up the prices of California wine now.

Asshats For $500
 

Didn't know, but could easily have guessed if the question was asked in a Jeopardy! format.

Asshats For $500
 

I think you mean "had been," not "was."

Yes, I'm pissy that lunch has been delayed indefinitely because I didn't get out while the getting was good because I was on the phone with a braying east coast lawyer* -- why do you ask?

*She's great, her advice is great, but ugh! The accent!

Asshats For $500
 

I saw the John Belushi Biography the other day. Enjoyed the little swipe at Chevy Chase that made the cut - Penny Marshall basically saying that Chevy was cute but lacked charisma, and was therefore not all that funny (in comparison to John, of course). I doubt Chevy keeps a copy of that SNL book around his house for reading in his spare time.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

I've always found Stiller funny in small doses (Reality Bites=good, Zoolander=not), and he seemed to me from what I read like he was a decent enough person in real life. So I was definitely shocked by learning it -- especially since he's a NYer, all y'all pulled together back then, even Giulianni became nicer, etc.

The book is pretty good reading, by the way. Buy it via the lawtalkers amazon.com link.

Asshats For $500
 

Whiff!

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

I always thought he was a whiny little prick, and that this truth about his character was the only reason that anyone could find the treatment he got in Meet the Parents funny.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

Off Ty[son]'s corner, chick! Or not. Whatev.

Bubble-bursting for $200, please, Alex.
 

Probably hard to believe given your interaction with all the brilliant, warm-hearted and funny New Yorkers on this board (the real losers we punted to California), but there are still plenty of self-important B-listers stalking our streets. As for Giuliani's disposition, I am reminded of this quote:

"And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company."

"Flirting With Disaster" was good, too.
 

Aren't you pregnant chicks supposed to be filled with universal love or the milk of human kindness or something? Damn.