I can't imagine it. It would be funny infinitus. Even funnier than the patronizingly fake appreciation/continuation of a joke! Oh the comedy!

Hanky Skirt
 

Day-um. No kidding. mr.dtb was just commenting the other day that he had to get a haircut, because he was coming perilously close to sporting a Manny Ramirez 'do.

Exactly. I mean, what if . . .

Wait. One. Minute. Uh oh!! You cunning rascal!!! You turned my zinger back on me! OUCH!

Actually, I was a bit off. I should have typed "docked whore".

hair color
 

Speaking of haircuts, I was getting one yesterday when Gus the barber noted that I seemed to be spouting a few grey hairs. I gave my usual answer ("I don't care what color they are so long as they stick around" -- baldness is a genetic curse that plagues both sides of my family), and added that I assumed that my clients liked a little grey in their lawyer's hair.

Gus shook his head sadly, and told me that he his scissors had snipped many an artifically-tinted hair from the heads of local lawyers.

Is the use of professional grade Grecian Formula common among the fashionable male lawyers out there? Maybe I am just being silly, but I just can't imagine doing this.

Aha! Caught you. I thought you were using a voice recognition program.

Oopsie daisey! You called my bluff!

(speaking of which, when are we playing poker?)

Oh for a Zinger pic! And all l could find is Twinkie the Kid:

http://www.twinkieshop.com/images/catalog/TFU.jpg

Hanky Skirt
 

I heard he has a big unit.

Is this some sort of inside reference? Or an allusion to off-FB activity designed to demonstrate how cool you are? Or did SS PM you and offer to poke your eyes out for you but you misunderstood?

Shaq to the Heat
 

Done deal. Officially, this time.

Hanky Skirt
 

"Onsies" and "twosies" are definitely worse than "belly" and "tummy".

No, it's a reference to the FB poker thing which has been talked about many times but which I apparently am not yet cool enough to participate in.

eta: and don't bother trying to point out that I am breaking my own rules. my rules only apply to other people.

Uh, thanks, but the horse is out of the barn on that one.

Homemade ice cream?
 

Anyone got a killer recipe for homemade vanilla ice cream? I have a gelato machine, but that's just not going to be enough to feed the crowd coming over on Saturday, so I'm going to get one of those 20-buck ice-and-salt jobbies at Freddy's. But all my recipes are for the gelato machine. Help me out?

tm

PS Anyone in Stumptown (you know who you are) is invited to join us, and you'll have to bring your own beer if fresh-squeezed guava-limeade is not to your liking. If it's hot we'll blow up the kiddie pool.

hair color
 

No Grecian Formula, no hair plugs, no toupee, no spray-on hair. It's all just pathetic.

Homemade ice cream?
 

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE TRYING TO APPEAR POPULAR TODAY?

Homemade ice cream?
 

Nothing screams "I want to appear popular" so much as "20-buck ice-and-salt jobbies."

We both agree that you are smarter and more literate than I am. Stop rubbing it in.

Homemade ice cream?
 

You'd be popular too if you were having a 3 buttermilk keg party.

Homemade ice cream?
 

The best homemade vanilla ice cream that I ever had was made with duck eggs instead of chicken eggs. It was absolutely heavenly, though I have absolutely no idea where you'd get duck eggs.

Homemade ice cream?
 

From a duck?

BOTD! Where is bilmore, anyway?

Homemade ice cream?
 

From a duck. Duh.



ETA - Damn! Too slow again.

Homemade ice cream?
 

Homemade ice cream?
 

Or Bilmore

And this may also explain where he is: club fed.

Homemade ice cream?
 

Homemade ice cream?
 

Being allergic to the eggs would make that suck for me. However, I saw Martha make this one on Saturday and she swears by it. The World's best vanilla ice cream.

2 cups whole milk
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise and scraped
5 large egg yolks
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract


In a medium saucepan, heat milk, vanilla bean, and seed scrapings. Bring to a gentle boil, cover, and remove from heat. Steep for 30 minutes.
Combine egg yolks and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat at medium-high speed until very thick and pale yellow, 3 to 5 minutes. Meanwhile, return milk to a simmer.

Remove vanilla bean from hot milk. Add half the milk to egg-yolk mixture, and whisk until blended. Stir into remaining milk, and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is thick enough to coat a spoon.

Remove from heat, and immediately stir in cream. Pass mixture through a strainer into a medium bowl, set over an ice bath so that it begins to chill. Stir in vanilla extract, then freeze in an ice-cream maker, following manufacturer's instructions.

Homemade ice cream?
 

• MASTER RECIPE FOR VANILLA ICE CREAM
  
  Makes 1 quart
  
  If necessary, two teaspoons of vanilla extract may be substituted for the vanilla bean. To maximize the extract’s potency, stir it into the chilled custard just before churning.
  
  2 cups whole milk
  3/4 cup sugar
  4-inch piece of vanilla bean, slit lengthwise and seeds removed (see illustration), pod reserved
  6 large egg yolks
  1 cup heavy cream
  
  1. Bring milk, 1/4 cup sugar, and vanilla seeds and pod to 175 degrees in a heavy saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally to dissolve sugar and break up vanilla seeds.
  
  2. Meanwhile, beat remaining sugar with yolks until mixture turns pale yellow and thickens so that it falls in ribbons, about 2 minutes with an electric mixer or 4 minutes with a whisk.*
  
  3. Remove 1/2 cup hot milk from pan and slowly whisk it into beaten yolks. Then gradually whisk yolk mixture into saucepan and, stirring constantly, heat this mixture over medium-low heat to 180 degrees, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove saucepan from heat; strain custard into a plastic or nonreactive metal bowl and stir in cream. Retrieve vanilla pods from strainer and add them to the mixture. Place bowl in a larger bowl of ice water to bring custard to room temperature.
  
  4. Seal container and refrigerate until custard is no more than 40 degrees, 4 to 8 hours. Remove vanilla pods (or add extract) and pour custard into an ice cream machine. Churn until frozen.
  
  *Yolks need to be beaten very well with some of the sugar before being combined with the other ingredients. If the yolks are only lightly beaten, the color of the finished ice cream is shockingly yellow.

Cook's Illustrated, July 1993. They also recommended the Krups La Glacière ($59.95, 1 1/2-quart capacity), if you (1) don't want to drop $600 on a fancy machine with its own refrigeration unit; and (2) you don't want the "grainy, icy, and dense" ice cream produced by hand-cranked models that cost just as much, or nearly so.

Homemade ice cream?
 

That seems a little heavy on the egg yolk. Otherwise, the same.

Homemade ice cream?
 

Why eggs:

• Early in the testing process it became apparent that "French vanilla," made with a custard base relying on egg yolks, far surpasses "Philadelphia-style" vanilla, made without eggs. In texture as well as flavor, the French version simply had far more of the richness and creaminess that we look for in ice cream. While as few as three yolks in a quart recipe makes an excellent ice cream, we found that six yolks made for an optimum silky texture without tasting eggy. As for cream, we liked just one part to two parts milk. Any more and the ice cream took on an undesirable "buttery" quality. Besides adding sweetness, we found sugar gives ice cream a smoother, softer, more "scoopable" end product. This is because the sugar both reduces the number and size of ice crystals and lowers the freezing temperature of the mixture so that you can beat the mixture longer, incorporating more air into the ice cream, before it freezes.

Maybe you get your recipes from felons, but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to.

Homemade ice cream?
 

Hey if I can get my bong from a felon, why not my ice cream recipe? OK, well I can't actually eat either one so, whatever. 5 eggs, 6 eggs, same effect. Plus I don't want my ice cream "shockingly yellow." Ew.

It's not like we're going to the party anyway.

Homemade ice cream?
 

Okay. Does it translate into a gallon?

And I've already got the "fancy machine with its own refrigeration unit," but like most of its ilk, it only makes a quart, and I need a whole hell of a lot more than a quart of ice cream. And the 20-buck ice-and-salt jobbies have an electric motor (I agree with Cook's that there really doesn't seem to be any good reason to spend $200-250 on a hand-cranked machine, no matter how authentically rustic).

tm

just a few more posts

and we can get rid

of these wide margins

fitting though the tribute to bilmore may have been

A Man for All Seasons
 

Bilmore was a good kayaker, and a good man.

He was... he was one of us.

He was a man who loved the outdoors, and kayaking, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of southern California from La Jolla to Leo Carillo, and up to Pismo.

He died.. he died as so many young men of his generation before his time, and in your wisdom, Lord, you took him. Just as you took so many bright, flowering young men at Khe San, and Lan Doc, and Hill 364. These young men gave their lives, and so did Bilmore. Bilmore who loved to kayak.

And so, Billmore Baggins Karabotsos.. in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been....we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Goodnight, sweet prince.

In your daily sex tape news
 

Paris Hilton will pay the proceeds of her settlement with Rick Solomon (about $400,000 plus a percentage of the sales from "One Night in Paris") to worthy charities - http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,...,00.html?tnews . Also mentioned are the Cameron Diaz S&M tape, the Jenna Lewis tape, and a tape of Gena Lee Nolin, which I haven't been able to review yet.

Plus, Priests Gone Wild - http://breakingnews.iol.ie/news/stor...87&n=135188167 -

"Roman Catholic leaders in Austria called an emergency meeting today after officials discovered a vast cache of photos and videos allegedly depicting young priests having sex at a seminary.

About 40,000 photographs and an undisclosed number of films, including child pornography, were downloaded on computers at the seminary in St Poelten, about 50 miles west of Vienna, the respected news magazine Profil reported.
...
Church officials discovered the material on a computer at the seminary, Profil said. It published several images purportedly showing young priests and their instructors kissing and fondling each other and engaging in orgies and sex games.
..."
I now get why Atticus went to seminary.

Courtney Love Update
 

She's in an "institution" and has a legal guardian - http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...ce_people_love

Mandatory photo:
http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com...2510175212.jpg

Meanwhile
 

The poster children for the adult toy industry have been named. They are Bob the Cucumber and Larry the Cherry (or maybe its Larry the Buttplug):
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...6&e=1&ncid=707 (harmless yahoo link, the photo won't come up).