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-   -   Making a buck cleaning Lester's spittle trays on Sequels' 22-year old supermodel abs (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=680)

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 12:34 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
Let me take a crack. (Ha! Crack! Assforest! We laughed and laughed. Oh, how we laughed.)

I think you were on the right track SD. I think paigow was repeating the age-old wisdom (or aphorism, if you will) that Jews make the best husbands, as they are less likely to spend their hard-earned cash on frivolities and fripperies, such as strippers.

I won't comment on recent studies showing that cheap husbands are the least likely to cheat on their wives, and the correlation or non-correlation to Jewishness, and the age-old maxim about Jews and cheapitude.

Because that would be wrong.
What would be wrong- the maxims or your commenting on them?

Shape Shifter 05-10-2005 12:39 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
Let me take a crack. (Ha! Crack! Assforest! We laughed and laughed. Oh, how we laughed.)

I think you were on the right track SD. I think paigow was repeating the age-old wisdom (or aphorism, if you will) that Jews make the best husbands, as they are less likely to spend their hard-earned cash on frivolities and fripperies, such as strippers.
Why the free lunch buffets?

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 12:40 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
Let me take a crack. (Ha! Crack! Assforest! We laughed and laughed. Oh, how we laughed.)

I think you were on the right track SD. I think paigow was repeating the age-old wisdom (or aphorism, if you will) that Jews make the best husbands, as they are less likely to spend their hard-earned cash on frivolities and fripperies, such as strippers.

I won't comment on recent studies showing that cheap husbands are the least likely to cheat on their wives, and the correlation or non-correlation to Jewishness, and the age-old maxim about Jews and cheapitude.

Because that would be wrong.
Well, if she believes that, she certainly doesn't know too many Jewish men. Or I've been hanging out with some pretty strange Jews.

Gattigap 05-10-2005 12:41 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Well, if she believes that, she certainly doesn't know too many Jewish men. Or I've been hanging out with some pretty strange Jews.
Well, with that kind of wardrobe, are you really surprised?

dtb 05-10-2005 12:45 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
What would be wrong- the maxims or your commenting on them?
Both -- duh!

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 12:46 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Gattigap
Well, with that kind of wardrobe, are you really surprised?
Yeh, they're all Harvey Fiersteins.

taxwonk 05-10-2005 12:58 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Its actually brialliant. They compliment each other perfectly. Parker brings the talent, looks and charisma. Tori brings everything else.
That would be her daddy's money and production company, right?

Replaced_Texan 05-10-2005 01:04 PM
Things that suck
 
Inoperable brain tumor on a 29 year old woman who is 5 1/2 months pregnant.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 01:07 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Inoperable brain tumor on a 29 year old woman who is 5 1/2 months pregnant.
Jesus, I hope thats no one you know, and if it is, I'm sorry. Thats horrible.

robustpuppy 05-10-2005 01:08 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Inoperable brain tumor on a 29 year old woman who is 5 1/2 months pregnant.
Oh, RT, I hope it's not a friend of yours. Not that I wish it on a stranger. Uh, you know what I mean. I hope.

Replaced_Texan 05-10-2005 01:08 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Jesus, I hope thats no one you know, and if it is, I'm sorry. Thats horrible.
It's a friend from another message board. I've known her since 1997, but I've never met her.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 01:13 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
It's a friend from another message board. I've known her since 1997, but I've never met her.
It goes w/o saying that she should get a 2d/3d opinion if she hasn't already.

Replaced_Texan 05-10-2005 01:17 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
It goes w/o saying that she should get a 2d/3d opinion if she hasn't already.
She's waiting for a pathology report to see how bad it is. The problem is that she can't start chemo unless she gives up the baby.

Sorry to bring the board down.

taxwonk 05-10-2005 01:26 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Slap your wife for me.
I'd take Jennifer over Angelina any day of the week. Ms. Jolie has enough ink on her to be half a comic book, she's crazy as a shithouse rat, and given some of the people she's been tied with romantically, I'd never feel completely safe without double-bagging my love anaconda.

Jennifer merely has displayed questionable taste in marrying the Whitest Man in America and making a film with Ben Stiller.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 01:27 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
She's waiting for a pathology report to see how bad it is. The problem is that she can't start chemo unless she gives up the baby.

Sorry to bring the board down.
Well, try to take some good from it. These things are reminders to get off your ass and do some of the fun things you're putting off.

Alex_de_Large 05-10-2005 01:34 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Jesus, I hope thats no one you know, and if it is, I'm sorry. Thats horrible.
My feelings exactly. Wow.

Alex_de_Large 05-10-2005 01:38 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
She's waiting for a pathology report to see how bad it is. The problem is that she can't start chemo unless she gives up the baby.
For what it's worth, I know a woman who was in a similar situation, only it was breast cancer and she was pregnant with twin girls. She said fuck it, took the radiation, and has been in remission for 30 years. She also carried to term and gave birth to two perfectly normal, healthy twins who are now 30 year old women w/no adverse effects from their mother's decision.

taxwonk 05-10-2005 01:38 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
She's waiting for a pathology report to see how bad it is. The problem is that she can't start chemo unless she gives up the baby.

Sorry to bring the board down.
I wouldn't wish that choice, let alone the condition that brought it on, on anyone. I'm sorry, RT.

Replaced_Texan 05-10-2005 01:39 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Well, try to take some good from it. These things are reminders to get off your ass and do some of the fun things you're putting off.
Yep. I think that these things are definite reminders that life isn't nearly as long as I tend to think it might be.

Poll: What have you been putting off that you really want to do? For the purposes of the poll, you have to have the means and/or the ability to do it.

I'm thinking that trip to New Zealand will happen sooner rather than later.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 01:40 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by taxwonk
I'd take Jennifer over Angelina any day of the week. Ms. Jolie has enough ink on her to be half a comic book, she's crazy as a shithouse rat, and given some of the people she's been tied with romantically, I'd never feel completely safe without double-bagging my love anaconda.

Jennifer merely has displayed questionable taste in marrying the Whitest Man in America and making a film with Ben Stiller.
We aren't talking marriage here, and I never said Jen isn't cute. But comparing Angelina and Jen is like comparing a Ferrari and a Porsche. Both are great, but only one's a true exotic.

ETA: Nobody offer the Gomer Pyle retort "What about that new Porsche that costs 400K? That's exotic."

notcasesensitive 05-10-2005 01:43 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
We aren't talking marriage here, and I never said Jen isn't cute. But comparing Angelina and Jen is like comparing a Ferrari and a Porsche. Both are great, but only one's a true exotic.

ETA: Nobody offer the Gomer Pyle retort "What about that new Porsche that costs 400K? That's exotic."
What about the new Porsche that costs...

D'oh!

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 01:44 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
It's a friend from another message board. I've known her since 1997, but I've never met her.
Well then maybe it's just a story. People make up stuff on the internet, like that one guy who claims to be 6'4". Or when I went to SF, Atticus claimed he couldn't meet me because his hemorrhoids hurt too much for him to walk- meanwhile that was a lie. He is far too regular to get roids.

robustpuppy 05-10-2005 01:45 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan

I'm thinking that trip to New Zealand will happen sooner rather than later.
Do it. It will be the best trip of your life. Shoulder season (April) is a great time to go, but November might be good, too. Just don't go during Christmas; everything will be booked.

As for me, this past year I've done a lot of things that I had put off and so feel pretty content lately. The only thing that I really wanted to do this February but couldn't is go to surf camp in Costa Rica, and it also would have been nice to do a long safari as a honeymoon.

sebastian_dangerfield 05-10-2005 01:47 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Well then maybe it's just a story. People make up stuff on the internet, like that one guy who claims to be 6'4". Or when I went to SF, Atticus claimed he couldn't meet me because his hemorrhoids hurt too much for him to walk- meanwhile that was a lie. He is far too regular to get roids.
Dude, anyone making up a story like that needs her teeth scattered.

Replaced_Texan 05-10-2005 01:54 PM
Another thing that sucks
 
Making people pay for their own bar dues and reimbursing them three to six months later so long as all the proper forms are filled out.

Fuckers.

TexLex 05-10-2005 02:10 PM
Another thing that sucks, but considerably less than that other thing
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Making people pay for their own bar dues and reimbursing them three to six months later so long as all the proper forms are filled out.

Fuckers.
Yes, but this didn't make me all sad like that tumor post, so suck it up, girlie.

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 02:13 PM
Another thing that sucks
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Making people pay for their own bar dues and reimbursing them three to six months later so long as all the proper forms are filled out.

Fuckers.
Meanwhile at coltrane's firm, he can tell them what kind of pop he wants in the conferecne room, and tomorrow it's stocked. Life isn't fair.

paigowprincess 05-10-2005 02:16 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
YOUR best work?

Off my corner, ho.
How is this your corner?

and who the FUCK is Sequels?

paigowprincess 05-10-2005 02:20 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Do you sometimes read what you write and want to kick your own ass?

TM
I think the Jews of the Board will mainly agree that I am mostly correct oon the Mr. Spelling issue. We are an honest and self-deprecating people.

the Jewish People 05-10-2005 02:23 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
I think the Jews of the Board will mainly agree that I am mostly correct oon the Mr. Spelling issue. We are an honest and self-deprecating people.
You speak foul truths that are mostly correct Paigow

To Thurgreed and his fellow anti-paigow terror mongers, we say,

Gai tren zich!!!!

Paigow is Gelibteh. A true friend to the Jewish people. Our favorite alteh moid.

paigowprincess 05-10-2005 02:25 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I wasn't sure what she was going for on that one. I stared at it for a while and just gave up. The message seems to be that Jews don't like strippers. I considered asking her about the evidence from which she reached that conclusion. Then I didn't.
Some Jews like strippers but I think the model married Jewish man is more Chef than Less and I can't imagine Chef turning into a Federline (despite the fact that Chef probably appreciates Britney more than Federline). There is also the legend that Jewish men make the best husbands. Less likely to cheat, get divorced, more loyal to family. And tend to be better with money than your average Federline, poor white trash, type. I think str8 will get my back on this. And I dont know who of the married with children men crew is jewish but I bet those who are would tend to agree. Hell, the 35 yo spinster is doing JDate and she is a self proclaimed WASP (though she could be a catholic with a delusion, but she aint jewish).

But you are the product of Catholic schools in Pennsyltucky so you woudlnt know this.

paigowprincess 05-10-2005 02:28 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by dtb
Let me take a crack. (Ha! Crack! Assforest! We laughed and laughed. Oh, how we laughed.)

I think you were on the right track SD. I think paigow was repeating the age-old wisdom (or aphorism, if you will) that Jews make the best husbands, as they are less likely to spend their hard-earned cash on frivolities and fripperies, such as strippers.

I won't comment on recent studies showing that cheap husbands are the least likely to cheat on their wives, and the correlation or non-correlation to Jewishness, and the age-old maxim about Jews and cheapitude.

Because that would be wrong.
There are studies on cheap husbands and whether they cheat? Who commissioned this? Did they do a study on poor uneducated husbands and whether they cheat when they hit the lottery with a low self esteem chick?

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 02:28 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
Some Jews like strippers but I think the model married Jewish man is more Chef than Less and I can't imagine Chef turning into a Federline (despite the fact that Chef probably appreciates Britney more than Federline). There is also the legend that Jewish men make the best husbands. Less likely to cheat, get divorced, more loyal to family. And tend to be better with money than your average Federline, poor white trash, type. I think str8 will get my back on this. And I dont know who of the married with children men crew is jewish but I bet those who are would tend to agree. Hell, the 35 yo spinster is doing JDate and she is a self proclaimed WASP (though she could be a catholic with a delusion, but she aint jewish).

But you are the product of Catholic schools in Pennsyltucky so you woudlnt know this.
I know my in-laws really wanted my wife to marry one. Maybe these are some of the reasons.

paigowprincess 05-10-2005 02:31 PM
Things that suck
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Inoperable brain tumor on a 29 year old woman who is 5 1/2 months pregnant.
That's dreadful. I am sorry. Truly.

notcasesensitive 05-10-2005 02:36 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I know my in-laws really wanted my wife to marry one. Maybe these are some of the reasons.
Perhaps they thought it seemed nicer to couch their reservations with you in terms of religion?

Please don't take this as a slam. Constructive criticism!

paigowprincess 05-10-2005 02:37 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I know my in-laws really wanted my wife to marry one. Maybe these are some of the reasons.
I thought Chinaski was a Jewish name?

Shape Shifter 05-10-2005 02:39 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
I thought Chinaski was a Jewish name?
That's how he fooled the multiorgasmic photoshopper into dating him in the first place.

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 02:41 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Perhaps they thought it seemed nicer to couch their reservations with you in terms of religion?

Please don't take this as a slam. Constructive criticism!
Once at dinner with them a waiter came up and said there was a phone call for a Dr Goldberg. He asked if I were Dr. Goldberg. I could see a distinct wistfullness in my MIL's eyes at the question.

Hank Chinaski 05-10-2005 02:52 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
That's how he fooled the multiorgasmic photoshopper into dating him in the first place.
you know, women are supposed to be multi-orgasmic. It raises questions about you that you feel this word adds further definition.

Not Bob 05-10-2005 02:53 PM
?!?!? Tori SPelling got married?
 
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Once at dinner with them a waiter came up and said there was a phone call for a Dr Goldberg. He asked if I were Dr. Goldberg. I could see a distinct wistfullness in my MIL's eyes at the question.
Dude, I just had a mouthful of Fresca exit my nose.*

Apparently, I am taking depos at Coltrane's firm today -- your correspondent is sitting in a Wi-Fi enabled conference room, and just raided a fridge stocked with Fresca, Grape and Orange Nehis, and Yoo-Hoos.

Oops, gotta run -- it's been 15 minutes since I last muttered "object to the form."

*Sorry, Thurgreed.


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