Oh Dear
 

Too late for the Knights of Columbus as well.

The Minstrel Boy To The Bar Is Gone
 

Hibernian hall has standards. Coltrane and Sequels wouldn't get a look in.

ETA: Who the FUCK is Sequels?

The Minstrel Boy To The Bar Is Gone
 

And, does her ass have room for an ashtray?

Finnegan's Wake
 

Indeed. I get misty just thinking of the boys showing up in their kelly green sports coats at my uncle's wake a few years ago. Meant a lot to my aunt, since they had spent more Saturday nights with my uncle than she did. They even paid for the piper at the cemetary. Classy in every sense of the word.

A Gift
 

For mmmmmm239578, just to let you know, I really do care. You should get a few of these for your girl.

http://forgetmenotpanties.contagious...org/index.html

sfw

TM

Finnegan's Wake
 

Ah sure, it'd bring a tear to a glass eye so it would.

You do know, don't you, that the Irish invented "white trash"?

Oh Dear
 

Vanity Fair Website?
Very Fabulous Weddings?
Vagina Fairy Wishes?
Veterans For Waxing?
Vulgarities for Wonk?

The Minstrel Boy To The Bar Is Gone
 

If you put down the fucking hooch for a minute, Mr. O'South-of-800, you might know.

And try googling it next time, you lazy fu-less bastard.

A Gift
 

Never before has a product been so perfectly tailored to the unknown by anyone but whimsically posted about SO of a poster. Well done. Too bad you chased mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm(hi Coltrane!) off the boards.

The Minstrel Boy To The Bar Is Gone
 

Offaly? Whiffolay!

The Minstrel Boy To The Bar Is Gone
 

McWhiff.

ETA (hi, Atticus!)

anyone else
 

I love that one.

Chalk another W up in the e-life column for the Wonkster.

FHM pics of Danica Patrick
 

(the IRL driver)

http://www.indymotorspeedway.com/danica.htm

A Gift
 

I'm still around, but way behind on all these posts about TM's preferred panty vendors and why Lindsay Lohan will never be as hot as Anne. How is your dry, sandy snatch?

Then I spent the afternoon drinking at the Cubs* game with clients, so now I am all fucked up and just mooching off some asshole's wireless network on some other asshole's roof while we all "check e-mail."* I am so behind that I haven't even seen sebby's post about buttfucking his wife except in signature lines. And I haven't even exchanged dirty PMs with Anne lately, either. I'm glad that I can still rely on a nonsensical post from you to make no fucking sense. Do you have some excuse about a baseball game to provide?

Are any of you cornholers going to Bonnaroo?

* Word is, Prior's arm might be broken!

* For me, this means, open up my laptop and fuck around on overheardinnewyork.com and this site because I already know what my e-mails are because I check them on my blackberry while pissing in the trough, so as not to alert my clients that I always know when they are trying to reach me. For them, I think that it means trying to figure out what strip club they are going to go to tonight and when their girlfriends should meet them so as best to avoid their wives finding anything out. I think one of them is gay and always trying to get the other ones drunk enough to fuck them, so maybe they are e-mailing each other about that, too. We look like nincompoops, but I just follow the crowd when the crowd butters my bread as much as these assholes (Hi, Carlos!) do!

A Gift
 

Well you better get back to it. Wonk has offered to grab my boob if I move to Chicago.

A Gift
 

Honey, you should know by now, Wonk would do that for any FB Betty who strays within a 100 mile radius of Chicago.

A Gift
 

Not just the FBetties. Ask TM.

Viagra
 

This certainly explains how Taxwonk cemented his future today.

FHM pics of Danica Patrick
 

Buttaface.

Aufwiedersehen to Crossmaglen
 

Why, are they finally getting around to deporting you?

A Gift
 

That's only partially true. Some of the Betties I'd travel for.

Viagra
 

Well, in my case, I'd be more concerned about sudden cardiac death more than blindness. Of course, I don't need Viagra. I just close my eyes and picture the red bathing suit chick and, sproing!!!!!

FHM pics of Danica Patrick
 

I take that back - the pics are bad. I saw her on Sportscenter and I would definitely fuck her.

Bad exBoyfriend
 

Some ahole exBF posted a fake profile of his exGF on yahoo, with naked and halfnekid pictures of her. He chatted it up with male admirers, who started showing up at the exGF's workplace expecting a liason. She told yahoo about this state of affairs, and they mostly ignored her, but allegedly an executive promised to take action and did nothing.

article

Oh Dear
 

Lots of people blame him as being the first for teaching white women that having sex with colored guys might be okay.

anyone else
 

Oh. I thought it might be a meeting with Michael Jackson's people about having his son go stay at the ranch for awhile.

A Gift
 

the pantie thing seemed a good idea, but the "e card" was limited to 20 words. It's not a real gift solution for mmmmm

A Gift
 

Imagine that Taxwonk and Coltrane lived in Tokyo instead of Chicago, and they hired up a temp tattoo guy for an entire morning. Luck T. brought his camera.

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/20...5859756334.jpg

A Gift
 

My banana hammocks aren't thongs. I don't want to offend anyone.

FHM pics of Danica Patrick
 

She doesn't have the MOST stunning face I've ever seen but she is not a facially unattractive person. What are you talking about?

Miss Universe
 

http://a123.g.akamai.net/f/123/12465...1/e053107a.jpg

that's quite a tiara

Miss Universe
 

You see, Gwink - you leave - so Canada now has to import its women from Russia.

Truly sad.

Miss Universe
 

Yeah, but how nice are her legs?

TM

Miss Universe
 

Clearly they are no match for mine:

http://www.hellomagazine.com/celebri...erse-dop3a.jpg

Paris and Paris
 

The train wreck cometh.

LOS ANGELES - Who says opposites attract? Hotel heiress Paris Hilton, star of “The Simple Life” reality show, is engaged to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, her spokesman said Monday.

Latsis is a grandson of John Latsis, the last of Greece’s shipping billionaires from the postwar boom years, who died in 2003 at 93. In March, Forbes magazine’s ranking of the world’s richest people listed the Latsis family at No. 54 with a combined wealth of $7.5 billion.

“I’m so in love and grateful to have found such an honest and loyal person,” Hilton told Us Weekly. “I feel like we were meant to be, and I’m happy to have found someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

Bleah.

Miss Universe
 

picking on this year's Miss Canada is too easy. the real test is how you hold up compared to Miss Canada 2004-

http://media.santabanta.com/gal/mu20...ts/canada1.jpg

Oh Dear
 

Word.

There are some people who are just naturally slender (e.g., gwnc, Paris Hilton -- though I find her skanky-looking, it's not because she's too thin; Nicole Kidman; others I can't think of right now), and then there are those who starve themselves to a weight that is unnatural. I think the giveaway is when their heads look about three times too big for their bodies. (Nicole Ritchie, the new invisible LL, the skinny Olsen twin, overly skinny Renee Zellwhatever)

In the picture someone posted with LL in the black bikini, she didn't look freakish, but there's another picture floating around the 'net at some Cartier function where she's wearing a white dress, and she looks absolutely icky. Her elbows are too pointy and you can see her collarbone. Blech.



Found it (though there's one that's even worse).

Oh Dear
 

Here are some examples of her former smokin'ness:


http://www.lindsay-lohan-pic.com/2.jpg
http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/a...n2_200x200.jpg

eta: HELP! I can't put pictures in a post!!

Miss Universe
 

Now. That. Is. A. Ratio. Even from a distance, her reproductive advantages are obvious.

I hate the fact somebody on these boards explained the Darwinian basis for getting excited by the sight of a nice ratio. I prefered the Eddie Murphy "Comedian" explanation of random wood.

Miss Universe
 

I knew she was going to win when she was the only one who put together complete sentences for the interview question. Of course, she had an advantage with the whole working knowledge of English thing.

Yes, sadly, I watched most of this last night. Even more sadly, I missed the swimsuit competition.